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New Nurse Insanity: Fundus Chop!
themountainsarecalling.blogspot.com
11
I've mostly moved beyond of the realm of theoretically knowing how to not kill a patient. Now I'm expected to not ever accidentally kill them...
#115653 in All

Outpatient

So its a slamming night. Like, five hour back up, cabulances coming from all corners of the city, and serious amounts of real sick people in hall beds. Im sitting in the triage window, as its my nigh...

1 day ago

May 28 2012

As Im putting an IV into an elderly gentleman and drawing blood, Im making small talk with him. I switch from the vacutainer to the luer lock and flush, and a bit of blood dribbles out before I can a...

3 days ago

Friends

When I came back into triage (aka Triagedy, because its a sad place to be sometimes) one of my favorite coworkers was sitting in my chair. We chatted for a few minutes then I kicked him out of my sea...

4 days ago

Full circle?

After making some random snarky comment about the sheer stupidity of a situation, one of my coworkers today told me this: "Girl you really need to start a blog and write that shit down."If yo...

17 may 12

Tesla

Basically, Nikola Tesla is a lot genius and a lot crazy. Which equals badass. Seriously.Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest geek who ever lived, by The Oatmeal.Also David Bowie played him in a movie wh...

14 may 12

Interesting

Usually Im quick enough to get in the patients room before the doctor, but there is one doc who is super quick. Hes also my favorite doc and is known for laying the verbal smackdown on those out of c...

09 may 12

Whew

Shrtstormtrooper RN, BSN, CEN. Its only three new letters, but it sure does mean a lot to me! Also, Im glad thats over. Nobody likes to voluntarily feel as if a Mack truck is repeatedly backing over ...

07 may 12

Guess where Im not

Its Saturday night. Cinco de Mayo. Spring Day here in town. Its a full moon - nay, a Supermoon! - and I am...NOT at work! Bahahah not at work! The Scheduling Gods have smiled upon me this month, and ...

06 may 12

Beards

So this one time I went to Napa and discovered it likes beards as much as I do...really, everyone should love beards. They are awesome.Heres 10 very good reasons why you should grow a giant beard if ...

05 may 12

Hair

May the Fourth be with you!Yeah thats right, happy Star Wars Day. You know you love it. But I digress...***I dont know about this new hair color, people. Ive been blonde pretty much my whole life...m...

05 may 12

Privacy

I had a sweet elderly lady in for the usual workup. I was getting her onto the bedpan and while her daughter stayed in the room the son stepped out to let us work. She was on the pan, and making smal...

03 may 12

Lost count

Me: "Hey doc! How many sutures did you end up putting in that (gigantic gaping monstrosity of a wound with unbelievably no broken bones) guy?"Ortho: Hang on, I wrote it down...[dig dig dig ar...

30 apr 12

Progression

Its strange to be able to look back and see how far Ive come over the past four years. I was sitting over at my friends house the other day, and I got to thinking about this because of the little fac...

24 apr 12

Levon Helm

Levon Helm. Keep walking that endless highway. Youll be missed.What a way to ride, oh, what a way to go.

20 apr 12

Full moon Friday

Things I have learned tonight:1. When leaving the apartment and noticing its a full moon on an almost-friday night...assume it will be hellish. Only working a princess 9p-3a shift? Doesnt matter. Ass...

06 apr 12

Sick

Heres an idea: If I come to you, Dr. Frat Boy, and say "I need you to come in this room NOW to see this new patient; she has a large chest and abdominal contusion with a questionable stab wound, ...

29 mar 12

Things which are not funny but are laughed at anyway

When a trauma/code patient gets a full body CT, the scan starts with the head and C-spine, and moves on down the body from chest CT towards abdomen/pelvis CT. The head and c-spine are the easiest bec...

23 mar 12

Bits

This week has been ridiculously beautiful outside. And Ive been at work most of the time, so itsa bit of a moot point. I did get to the river one day though and this is the result:***I have a good bi...

13 mar 12

Business ideas

One of our unit secretaries, who is older than dirt and came with the building, was in the midst of a discussion on ER abuse and how as a rule we lose money on almost every patient who comes through ...

12 mar 12

Comparisons

Patient: "I mean its like ten of one, half dozen of another. Right doc?"If you say so...In all fairness he did realize what he said, and thought it rather amusing - which meant he was fair ga...

28 feb 12

Lessons

There is so much BAMFery in this article, you guys. And its a serious article from Forbes.Management lessons to learn from Star Wars.I think the sad thing is that this is completely relevant to the m...

22 feb 12

Not related to nursing, in any way

Let me just get on my high horse for a minute...How in the name of all that is good did Alan Rickman NOT get nominated for an Academy Award for the role of Snape?I spent 6.5 books trying to figure ou...

20 feb 12

Really?!

I got reprimanded by the Big Boss Lady this morning. For wearing a gray long sleeved shirt under my scrub top instead of the approved white. Im over it. Especially since you assholes are lucky I didn...

14 feb 12

Late night

Its four in the morning, on an extra slow night at work. I walk by the nursing station, and notice a pair of finger splints lying innocently on the workstation.Or were they so innocent?!Mischief abou...

12 feb 12

Responsibility

There are quite a few patients whom I dont like. They are obnoxious, rude, dont care what I have to suggest regarding their health, and are disinclined to heed anything I say unless its immediately p...

11 feb 12

Masonry

My friend the nurse: Dude. DUDE. This guy just dropped an enema deuce, that poo had to be in there since at least 1990. He legitimately just shit an actual brick.Me: That is quite impressive.My frien...

04 feb 12

Double meanings

Overheard in the ER: "Hey Mr. Johnson, were going to put this tube into your johnson."

04 feb 12

And I- I took the one less traveled by

Well folks, its official. Im gonna peace out from the East Coast of the US. Destination? I dont know!!I decided to do travel nursing. Its been a long, slow process getting here, but I finally have re...

30 jan 12

Humor

The absolute best thing about working ER is knowing that as foul and potty-mouthed and inappropriate as I can be, there is always another person willing to take a joke even farther.I told a filthy He...

26 jan 12

Pharm

So Etomidate is out, thanks to a nationwide shortage. Were out of Ativan IV, and we have critically low supplies of Versed and Valium IV. What could possibly go wrong in this scenario?Lets hope no on...

19 jan 12

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