I have just emerged from a two-day-long post-jol depression and have learnt two valuable life lessons:1) If you really want to feel special, go on a date with your GBF, and,2) Drunk people like to ge...
With age and maturity I have developed an appreciation for the finer things in life. I realise that I may be getting on, but there is much in the way of modern technology that makes me feel, at...
I know. Ive been absent. Ive been absent, mind you, for the good of humankind, given that Ive just spent the last month celebrating Christmas by drinking much festive wine, eating fried f...
There comes a time in every parents life (of this Im convinced) that one makes the discovery that there is only one way to cope. Two solitary words that, on any given day, have the power to cause mas...
I like going to the ballet (to be said by projecting voice through the top set of the teeth, with ones head tilted slightly up, whilst looking down on commoners) for three reasons: 1) Its an excellen...
Im entering Come Dine With Me SA. Im a little worried about this entry, particularly because Im exceptionally worried that I will, in fact, be chosen to participate in said show, in which case ...
I lost my mind this past week. Im convinced of it. You see, after poo-pooing liaisons with The Twenty Almost One Year Old Hottie Hot Pants on account of his a) age, b) inability to compos...
My gran - the French Mauritian one - was a bit of a hypochondriac; a characteristic I think The Father has inherited.Yesterday my head nearly exploded. I had a post holiday depression headache so sor...
So, heres the deal, right? Do not go tampon shopping when you actually have your period in the middle of the day. Its so bad for you, I expect that in the near future there will be pi...
I have done a little empirical research over the years - in the very scientific manner of gossiping with mates over countless bottles of wine - and it is official: I have endured the worst dates EVER...
Its always a bit of a gamble when youve spent a good three months building up the reputation of a place to your friends, when you actually decide to take them to said place. Ive spent hours of ...
I did not manage to sleep my full required 8 hours 45 minutes (plus 3 x 5 minutes snoozes) last night because a while back, in a fleeting moment of madness, I bought The Daughter a birthday present i...
My friends are in a state of frothy at the imminent date between (well, what I want to call him for the sake of continuity is Biggest Cocksucker but given that Date Boy has apologised whole-heartedly...
I lie about my age. The Daughter thinks Im 20 and therefore I have taken to telling everyone that I simply am, just that: 20.Something slightly untoward happened today, and I didnt really have ...
After night two of irritating in-ear whinge, I decided to get my big girl panties on and have a word with The Armpit re the breeding of mosquitoes for what seems like commercial reasons.The Pant: (on...
I am convinced that mosquito holds absolutely no value in this world whatsoever. And anyone who would like to challenge me on this point must, it seems, be my Armpit.I think shes trying to kill...
Spring has hit Durban in such a huge way that Im peeing myself with glee almost hourly. I love this weather. I love my city. I love the beach. And I love those nubile men that...
Just as one cannot walk past a Kauai without slipping in for a quick Lemon Breeze and then slurping it with such determined alacrity that one develops a brain freeze so intense that one wonders if on...
Ive been fulfilling the role of Mother in a big way since last I wrote. I dont know how it happened - well, I do know how it happened - but some huge change occurred the moment The Daughter turned fi...
Ive been keeping this gem under wraps for a couple days now for fear of soiling my name in the greater community, but then I realised that Id already tarnished my reputation by dating a man with hide...
The Daughter ages today. And so, Im slightly stupefied today, not only at how old having a five-year-old human child whom I have both made, incubated and raised single-handedly (sometimes double-hand...
When someone with whom one shares a very close relationship comes of age, it really is a special ocassion that can only be celebrated by earnest and sincere hugging (the type that lasts just a few se...
Im ever so grateful for Benefits Boing today. A most sincere and humble gratitude indeed. Because when I washed my make-up off last night (I know! On a Sunday. I, too, feel like I dont know myself an...
My brother has the worst cell-phone manners known to mankind. They irritate the bejesus out of me. Hes quite happy to dump a call and then not effing return it. There should be a li...
I had a boyfriend when I was 12. I loved him. Entirely. We slow danced. We held hands. We wrote each other letters. I wore bodysuits and green pleated jeans. He dressed akin to Axel Rose. We were lik...
Last weekend, while celebrating The Incubators birthday (again?? how many is the woman going to have?) by steadily ploughing my way through bottle after bottle of wine, Good Friend who has recently b...
I had a monumental epiphany on Sunday. Its August! Which, in Durban terms, means its nearly Summer. And since Im sporting a stomach that could quite easily be mistaken for an incuba...
It was Thursday. The Good Food and Wine Show was on. And, if you know anything about me at all, youll know that, apart from The Daughter, Good Food and Good Wine are my two most favourite...
Ive become the customer from hell. The staff at my local Woolies respond to my presence with rolled eyes, quick whips through the store and inter-staff broadcast BBMs something in the vein of H...
I dont think watching old movies is a good idea. And Im talking about those cult ones, like A Fish Called Wanda, Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing and Ghost. (A misspent youth I had indeed. I knew what the...
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