I read one of my old blog posts at Jacob Foxs book launch. Just making my mom proud. Happy Mothers Day! His book is called "I Cant Believe We Had To Die Just To Make This Pointless Book". Eve...
Dear Grad School,Here is my opening line that will lure you in and set me apart from my peers. Well, sort of. Here is a follow-up sentence that references a quote from a dead person. Here is an ambig...
Please support me in my ride to conquer unemployment. If left untreated, unemployment can lead to:· &n bsp; Slow, steady, drastic weight gain· & nbsp;...
When I was in grade four, a boy in my class named Tommy* walked up to me at recess and said, “Carly, you gave the entire grade a blow job.”“I did?” I asked.“Yup. The entire grade!” Then he walked awa...
After four years of living away at college, moving back into my parents’ house is, well, a transition to say the least. I’m not saying that I don’t love my parents. My mom has a closet filled with cl...
Salesperson: Hi there, how can I help you? Me: Hi. I would like to exchange this. Salesperson: Okay. Any specific reason? Me: Oh yes. Many. Salesperson: Can you be more specific? Me: Well for starter...
1. I wear a winter hat in the summer because I love attention and irony. 2. My friends see the world through rose coloured glasses; I prefer my sepia t...
Angel: Welcome to Heaven Carly. Can I take your coat? Carly: It’s a bit chilly up here. I think I’ll leave it on for now. Angel: Okay. Before I let you in we’re going to have to go over a few t...
Its 6:45 AM in San Sebastian, Spain. We have to catch a train to Barcelona. Its two weeks into our trip so we know the drill. Clothes are laid out, backpacks are packed and our food for the day is in...
I have a friend Carly and she works in a bank.“So are you like the person I talk to when I need to get my debit card fixed?” I ask her. “No Car, I’m in securities,” she says looking at me like I’m th...
When my house burned down my family and I moved into a strange family’s home. I say “strange” as in the “unfamiliar” sense; I will keep my judgments on the wall of insect portraits to myself. The str...
Jesus: Happy Father’s Day Dad.God: Thanks son. What’s this? A card? Jesus: Yeah, it reminded me of you. God: “To the World’s Greatest Dad”. I guess that’s pretty accurate. Thank you Jesus. Jesus: You...
I’m losing something today, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ve been anticipating this day for three weeks now and as it’s gotten closer, I’ve gotten more nervous. “This may hurt a bit,” he sa...
I’m in creative writing portfolio class. A class filled with unstable futures, fragile egos and scarves. A class where you learn that in the writing world first impressions mean everything. This take...
“Do you ever mobile upload?” I ask my friend--“Hey don’t use my name. Use a cool name like...Spencer.”Okay.“Do you ever mobile upload?” I ask my friend, Spencer. “No, my girlfriend and I arent kinky ...
On my way up to school last week, I stopped at the bakery on Bathurst Street. You know, the part of Bathurst that might be confused for a Polish shtetl. Well, if you haven’t been to the bakery, you s...
My dad broke his arm while we were on our family vacation. He tripped down a flight of two stairs at the hotel. I know, shame, poor dad, but let’s be honest, it looked pretty hilarious...
Time Magazine has one face to sum up 2010: Mark Zuckerbergs. And we have to agree with that choice. The world has changed since Facebooks arrival. Facebooks changed the way we network, post pictures ...
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