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My Status Is Baddest - Witty, Funny, Hilarious and Clever Facebook status updates
www.mystatusisbaddest.com
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My blog helps you seem awesome on Facebook. Funny, Witty, Hilarious and bizarre status updates and more.
#126309 in All

____ If you think I wrote this status update in the nude, youre wrong. Im wearing a sombrero and a candy necklace. (MY STATUS IS BADDEST) ____ I was informed that all my statuses have sexual inuendos...

15 may 12

____ Some people are so self-absorbed that they never stalk anybody.... Sickos (Donny Norris) ____ I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry. (King Julien) ____ D...

10 may 12

Mondays suck.

07 may 12

____ I was playing fetch with my neighbors dog but hes too heavy to carry in my teeth and his fur tastes horrible. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain) ____ They should make car gas tanks more realistic, in the ...

01 may 12

____ Mariah Carey doesnt have a TV in her bedroom so she has to watch Nick at night. (Mys ter E) ____ Im not actually dangerously unbalanced. At most, Im gracefully insane. (Sean Shipley) ____ I migh...

01 may 12

____ This crazy chick figured out all the accounts I was stalking her with. What a psycho!! (Tom Guntorius) ____ The economy is so bad I just heard a guy ask a lady if she would like to go out for di...

01 may 12

____ Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot? (Bob MuppetMan Brittain) ____ I put the o in illiterate (Adam Apple) ____ Making butt shaped meatloaf. (Lisa James...

27 apr 12

____ Giraffe/camel...same thing. Unless youre looking at the toes. (Lisa James) ____ I do what I want, when I want, where I want! As long as my mum says its ok. (King Julien) ____ You hate yourself? ...

27 apr 12

____ I hate it when Im drinking and somebody tries to correct my Vodkabulary. (Shafique Khatri) ____ I just finished playing Operation with my nephew. Sooo much blood. (SamGirl Sunday) ____ "OMFG...

17 apr 12

____ My favorite ingredient in this trail mix is the Xanax. (MY STATUS IS BADDEST) ____ I think they call it the LIFETIME network because when you are forced to watch one of those stupid shoes IT SUR...

17 apr 12

____ If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain then you should move to Puerto Rico cause thats were the drink was invented and it rains like seven months out of the year over there and ...

13 apr 12

____ Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know its a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO! (Bob MuppetMan Brittain) ____ I have an irrational fear of Disco...

13 apr 12

____ I think people who challenge me at WORDS WITH FRIENDS are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words. (Donny Norris) ____ I decided to face reality today. Wont be doing that aga...

11 apr 12

____ Thanks to Facebook, whenever I go to a really great restaurant, I never tip the server. Instead, I write "Bob likes this" on the wall, flash them a thumbs up and walk out. (Bob MuppetMan...

11 apr 12

____ None of my friends ask if I want to know what theyre thinking anymore. They just blurt it out on Facebook and hope I care. (MY STATUS IS BADDEST) ____ I just passed a breathalyzer...back to the ...

10 apr 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS, 3/27/12:

____ Someone told me to get over myself so I did a backflip, but then I just landed in more AWESOME! (SamGirl Sunday) ____ if I dont spend any money on anything for the next 3 days...I still wont hav...

28 mar 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS, 3/24/12:

____ just realized that you can "like" that someone was born on the timeline. I found all my exs and commented Boo! (Lisa James) ____ I was sitting here trying to collect my thoughts, then I ...

26 mar 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS, 3/23/12:

____ My "Dream Job" is sleeping. (Adam Apple) ____ When children shy away, I say, "I dont bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand lifes not ea...

25 mar 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS:

Im continuing a series of Facebook status updates that my readers have contributed over the last year. Its been great to see that so many of these have been used all over the internet since they orig...

14 mar 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS:

Im continuing a series of Facebook status updates that my readers have contributed over the last year. Its been great to see that so many of these have been used all over the internet since they orig...

13 mar 12

MORE OF THE BEST FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM THE LAST YEAR:

For the next few days, Im publishing a bunch of status updates from my Fan Page, written within the last 12 months. Enjoy! ____ I knew that the reality TV show Survivor was a sham the minute I notice...

01 mar 12

FUNNY FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FAN PAGE:

This is an exciting day for My Status Is Baddest! I have figured out how to randomly select Facebook Fan Page status updates with more than 3 "likes" from the moment my Fan Page started ...

01 mar 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS, PART 2, 2/24/12:

____ Is it wrong to hate a certain RACE? I like 5k races but my team is starting 10k races which I dont like very much. (Basti Agustin) ____ Theres a bloodmobile in town and Ill be going down tonight...

26 feb 12

FUNNY PICTURE TO POST ON FACEBOOK:

26 feb 12

FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES FROM MY FACEBOOK FANS, PART 1, 2/24/12:

____ I bet Superman has got lot of shirts with ruined buttons. (Shafique Khatri) ____ The Oscar buzz this year is around "The Artist," a silent movie. Not to be confused with "The Fartist...

26 feb 12

AND NOW...A FEW OF MY FAVORITE FACEBOOK FAN PAGE STATUS UPDATES POSTED TODAY:

I picked over 90 status updates to post from my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE today. And you all wonder why I get behind on the Fan postings! There were over 400 to pick from...in one day! This is the funniest g...

17 feb 12

FAN PAGE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES, PART FOUR :

This is part four of the most recent status updates posted on my FAN PAGE. Did you miss parts one, two and three? Go HERE, HERE and HERE. Youre welcome. ____ Man, My imaginary friend just unfriended ...

14 feb 12

FAN PAGE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES, PART THREE :

Part Two is HERE, and Part One is HERE. This is Part Three. Any questions? ____ I think whoever writes the TV Guide should start a psychic hotline. That dude is spot on every time, eerie. (Donny Norr...

14 feb 12

FACEBOOK FAN PAGE STATUS UPDATES, PART TWO:

This is part deux of the status updates Ive liked on my FAN PAGE recently. Part one is HERE. ____ I love fair food! Candy apples, cotton candy, sausage-on-a-stick, those boil-in-a-bag goldfish... MMM...

14 feb 12

FAN PAGE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES, PART ONE :

If you came to my blog today looking for a bunch of one-liners that have been posted repeatedly on other websites, I apologize. You arent going to find those. Instead, you will find a bunch of unique...

14 feb 12

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