I am so tired and burnt out right now that I would probably murder a car full of orphans for a latte and not even feel bad about it. Yeah, it’s fucking finals week.
And I never will.
What a joke.
At random intervals, go on your facebook chat and see how many people you’ve slept with are online. Each person online is worth 1 point, and idle people are worth half. Then count them up and the per...
triple crown (verb): sleeping with a different person each night of the weekend - Thursday, Friday, and Saturday “I triple crowned this weekend”
Especially since I’m pretty sure I left my phone in his car and I don’t know his fucking name! Motherfucker.
5. Over-pumping a Keg - How well someone can handle a keg is one factor I consider when judging whether or not a person is worthwhile. There are the people who know what’s up, pumping only enough to ...
Apart from the Red Bull incident, this weekend also entailed sleeping with a gorgeous rower, DFMing a gorgeous freshman, and discovering a fabulous new drunk food (wrap with hummus, pesto, tomatoes, ...
I cannot help but feel like I may have been paid for sex last night with a Red Bull. Questionable?
Freshman fifteen? Meet Sophomore self-loathing.
Last night I finished a fifth of Pear Absolut with a friend in an hour and a half. Somewhere during my blackout, I found the time to vomit on my friend’s stairs, on the walls of his bathroom, on his ...
I am officially adding Ranch Dressing to my list of the Top 5 Worst Things to Vomit.
I couldn’t.
Who knew a thirteen year old could be so wise? I began drinking at 1:23PM, I foresee some fun fun fun fun in my future. XO
If you must choose only one Thursday to black out on this year, choose this one. XO
There are quite literally 22 separate bruises, scratches, and other unidentified lesions on my body at this moment. I have bruises under my arms from blacking out and playing with crutches. I have sc...
Living the motherfucking dream.
Oh right, because I don’t give a fuck. But seriously, you cannot possibly understand how drunk I am getting tonight.
The 3 exams and 2 papers I had this week are making me want 1 big bottle of vodka.
Ummm I still use your website in college, sparknotes. Fuck you.
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