I am a lover of many genres and styles of cartoons. My love affair with them began immediately after my womb eviction and while perhaps not as diverse in selection as I’d liked them to be, the ...
[Seeing his mother dying her hair] “Mommy… does you have poop on you head?” -Lucas (2012, 2 years old) Uhhhhhhh… To a kid: if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, l...
“I am the chef. You are the butthead. Now get out of my kitchen.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Not that kind of “period.” The period that ends a sentence. Or in this case, unleashes armageddon on an entire line of discussion and debate, or backtalk festivals and whiney begging camp...
My sons, Cody and Max at a war memorial, 10 and 8 years old, 2008. At first I thought they were making fun or at least making dumb. Sometimes it’s hard to tell with kids. Let me explain. WeR...
And then Marvel went from creating superheroes to becoming superheroes themselves… A young boy from New Hampshire decided three weeks ago that he wasn’t going to wear his hearing aid any ...
Talking is such an important milestone in raising kids. But having kids, for whatever reason, apparently comes with a cost: your own ability to speak properly. Maybe it’s just my wife and me (I...
“So excited about the fu**ing caffeine I’m getting ready to drink. It’s Friday, alright.” -Avara – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
[ click the image to enlarge ] Oh how they sing. Oh how they dance. You gave it as a gift, not knowing any better. Or someone else gave it to your kid, not knowing that it could ultimately mak...
Toddlers can take a huge toll on your patience, resources and time. The list of tough lessons and experiences is endless: possessiveness, tantrums, food pickiness, lack of vocabulary, etc. And, you m...
Disclosure: This post is brought to you today by LifeLock, a leader in identity theft protection. This post is my own opinion and my crazytalk doesn’t necessarily reflect the opinions of Lifelo...
There are certain viral videos that encapsulate aspects of my whole life. This one symbolizes every attempt I’ve ever made at relationships with the fairer sex… …. …. until my...
WARNING: Use these desperate measures with extreme caution! They’ve got more likelihood of bad side-effects and total backfire than any of the previous suggestions and are used at your o...
[ click the image to enlarge ] Maybe the debate scores on this chart will help people to gauge how crazy the conversation at the group picnic is going to get when breastfeeding comes up. Maybe...
“Say Happy Muhver Day!” -Lucas (2012, almost 3 years old) Being literal is not the same as being literate, but it’s funny. Facepalm. He repeated exactly what I just whispered ...
My wife just said everything without needing to say anything. She gave me the Mother’s Day Look. The one that says, “Um. It’s Mother’s Day. Please rephrase what you just said....
You think you’re doing a good job as a parent, and then you see THIS… I want to find the person responsible for this architectural masterpiece, stuff his pockets with all of my money and ...
Yeah. So that just happened. For almost two years. Teething. The war is over now. I finally realized it. It just suddenly hit me. And it took a flashback to get me there. My flashback didn’t co...
“Look, all I’m saying is I wouldn’t mind someone bathing and giving me an organic oil rubdown every night.” -Avara – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”&nbs...
[ click the image to enlarge ] Co-sleeping with your baby can be one of the greatest joys or torments of parenting. It’s not for everyone, but for those who have… Which of these ha...
I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud… There are too many ugly parents in the world. Yes, this is judgmental. Yes, it’s a horrible thing to say and I don’t mean...
Hey Everyone, I was going to write a post, but then I decided to have sex with my wife and go to sleep. You understand, right? Have a great weekend. Love, Charlie
♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round! The wheels on the bus go round and round, aaaaall throoough the toooown! ♫ I think this is the song my wife will be mutte...
[ click the image to enlarge ] You ask your dearest, “Hon, have you seen my phone?” When you get the casual “no” reply, you hunt around a bit or tear the place apart. H...
Chances are, if you enjoy movies or comics or anything at all, you’re going to see The Avengers this weekend or sooner. Studios always love to debut their flicks around my birthday week. Gladia...
“I know I can be… … persistent. Sometimes. But it comes from the heart!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
Today is my mother’s birthday. She has put up with a lot between raising me and my brother. I would love it if you left a comment wishing her a happy birthday, but also, tell her what your moth...
WARNING: I’m back at it again. People still want to have sex and that’s not my fault. Kids wake up or the daily grind gets in the way. Don’t be mad at me because I’m of...
[ click the images to enlarge ] Children look at food and nutrition differently than adults. Sometimes they don’t even look at it, they just breath it in without even chewing. Some are p...
Crap. Stuff. Things… Product. My boy Finn, a year ago during his pleasingly plump phase. We digest tons of marketing and advertising whole, like hankering hot dog eating contestants. Brands sel...
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