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How To Be A Dad
www.howtobeadad.com
45
Not so much a how-to as a how-not-to for Dads, Moms, Parents-To-Be and those who have no desire to procreate, whatsoever. We're like a momblog for dads, sorta.
#29880 in All , #326 in Parenting

“Caillou” is French for SHUT UP

I am a lover of many genres and styles of cartoons. My love affair with them began immediately after my womb eviction and while perhaps not as diverse in selection as I’d liked them to be, the ...

18 h ago

My Kid Just Said… #5

[Seeing his mother dying her hair] “Mommy… does you have poop on you head?” -Lucas (2012, 2 years old)  Uhhhhhhh… To a kid: if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, l...

1 day ago

My Wife Just Said… #61

“I am the chef. You are the butthead. Now get out of my kitchen.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

1 day ago 1 person likes this

The Super Mega PERIOD

Not that kind of “period.” The period that ends a sentence. Or in this case, unleashes armageddon on an entire line of discussion and debate, or backtalk festivals and whiney begging camp...

2 days ago

Remembering

My sons, Cody and Max at a war memorial, 10 and 8 years old, 2008. At first I thought they were making fun or at least making dumb. Sometimes it’s hard to tell with kids. Let me explain. WeR...

3 days ago

Marvel Superheroes

And then Marvel went from creating superheroes to becoming superheroes themselves… A young boy from New Hampshire decided three weeks ago that he wasn’t going to wear his hearing aid any ...

6 days ago 1 person likes this

The Language of Parents

Talking is such an important milestone in raising kids. But having kids, for whatever reason, apparently comes with a cost: your own ability to speak properly. Maybe it’s just my wife and me (I...

24 may 12

My Wife Just Said… #60

“So excited about the fu**ing caffeine I’m getting ready to drink. It’s Friday, alright.” -Avara   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

23 may 12

How to Commit the Perfect Toy Murder

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Oh how they sing. Oh how they dance. You gave it as a gift, not knowing any better. Or someone else gave it to your kid, not knowing that it could ultimately mak...

22 may 12

5 Alternate Uses for Toddlers!

Toddlers can take a huge toll on your patience, resources and time. The list of tough lessons and experiences is endless: possessiveness, tantrums, food pickiness, lack of vocabulary, etc. And, you m...

21 may 12

Scamming Yourself

Disclosure: This post is brought to you today by LifeLock, a leader in identity theft protection. This post is my own opinion and my crazytalk doesn’t necessarily reflect the opinions of Lifelo...

18 may 12

My Life with Women (VIDEO)

There are certain viral videos that encapsulate aspects of my whole life. This one symbolizes every attempt I’ve ever made at relationships with the fairer sex… …. …. until my...

17 may 12

Horribly DESPERATE Ways to Nudge Your Lover (The Last of the 50)

  WARNING: Use these desperate measures with extreme caution! They’ve got more likelihood of bad side-effects and total backfire than any of the previous suggestions and are used at your o...

16 may 12

Breastfeeding Debate Multiplication Chart

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Maybe the debate scores on this chart will help people to gauge how crazy the conversation at the group picnic is going to get when breastfeeding comes up. Maybe...

15 may 12

Muhver Day: My Kid Just Said… #4

“Say Happy Muhver Day!” -Lucas (2012, almost 3 years old)  Being literal is not the same as being literate, but it’s funny. Facepalm. He repeated exactly what I just whispered ...

14 may 12

On Mother’s Day, My Wife Just Said… #59

My wife just said everything without needing to say anything. She gave me the Mother’s Day Look. The one that says, “Um. It’s Mother’s Day. Please rephrase what you just said....

14 may 12

Childproofing Level: EPIC

You think you’re doing a good job as a parent, and then you see THIS… I want to find the person responsible for this architectural masterpiece, stuff his pockets with all of my money and ...

11 may 12

The War Is Over

Yeah. So that just happened. For almost two years. Teething. The war is over now. I finally realized it. It just suddenly hit me. And it took a flashback to get me there. My flashback didn’t co...

10 may 12

My Wife Just Said… #58

“Look, all I’m saying is I wouldn’t mind someone bathing and giving me an organic oil rubdown every night.” -Avara   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”&nbs...

09 may 12

Baby Sleep Positions (1-10)

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Co-sleeping with your baby can be one of the greatest joys or torments of parenting. It’s not for everyone, but for those who have… Which of these ha...

08 may 12

Ugliness

I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud… There are too many ugly parents in the world. Yes, this is judgmental. Yes, it’s a horrible thing to say and I don’t mean...

06 may 12

Gone Fishing!

Hey Everyone, I was going to write a post, but then I decided to have sex with my wife and go to sleep. You understand, right? Have a great weekend. Love, Charlie

04 may 12

Toys Make You a Singing Psycho

♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round! The wheels on the bus go round and round, aaaaall throoough the toooown! ♫ I think this is the song my wife will be mutte...

03 may 12

Criminal vs Baby

  [ click the image to enlarge ] You ask your dearest, “Hon, have you seen my phone?” When you get the casual “no” reply, you hunt around a bit or tear the place apart. H...

02 may 12

The Avengers – A Non-Review Review

Chances are, if you enjoy movies or comics or anything at all, you’re going to see The Avengers this weekend or sooner. Studios always love to debut their flicks around my birthday week. Gladia...

01 may 12

My Wife Just Said… #57

“I know I can be… … persistent. Sometimes. But it comes from the heart!” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

30 apr 12

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is my mother’s birthday. She has put up with a lot between raising me and my brother. I would love it if you left a comment wishing her a happy birthday, but also, tell her what your moth...

27 apr 12

50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 4 of 5)

  WARNING: I’m back at it again. People still want to have sex and that’s not my fault. Kids wake up or the daily grind gets in the way. Don’t be mad at me because I’m of...

26 apr 12

The Food Groups According to Kids

[ click the images to enlarge ]   Children look at food and nutrition differently than adults. Sometimes they don’t even look at it, they just breath it in without even chewing. Some are p...

25 apr 12

Product Plight

Crap. Stuff. Things… Product. My boy Finn, a year ago during his pleasingly plump phase. We digest tons of marketing and advertising whole, like hankering hot dog eating contestants. Brands sel...

24 apr 12

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