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Suri's Burn Book
surisburnbook.tumblr.com
401
Just because you don’t have a Ferragamo handbag doesn’t mean you can behave like a child. (I’m looking at you, Shiloh.)
#3301 in All

The first time I met Oprah, I had a much better conversation...

The first time I met Oprah, I had a much better conversation starter than “AAAAAAAAAA.” Actually, we had a lovely discussion about Toni Morrison’s early novels, Josh Groban, and our mutual secret loa...

18 h ago

I can’t even deal with Rachel Zoe’s baby anymore....

I can’t even deal with Rachel Zoe’s baby anymore. The shirtless overalls look went out with Britney Spears’s relevance, and that hair is out of control. At least he is learning the doe-eyed, “What di...

19 h ago

The July issue of British Vogue features Miranda Kerr and Flynn...

The July issue of British Vogue features Miranda Kerr and Flynn Bloom looking very cute on a hillside. It’s all quite lovely, but as a feminist, I am appalled by this double standard. I ask you, coul...

22 h ago

So at Beyonce’s concert last weekend in Atlantic City (the...

So at Beyonce’s concert last weekend in Atlantic City (the Monte Carlo of New Jersey), she gave a shout-out to Michelle Williams, who — along with fellow Destiny’s Child lesser-known Kelly Rowland — ...

1 day ago

Prince William really knows how to push my buttons. He told...

Prince William really knows how to push my buttons. He told Katie Couric: “I’m still trying to decide [about another Royal Air Force tour of duty]. It’s a really difficult one because I really enjoy ...

1 day ago

Am I on glue?Jennifer Garner’s dress does not have stains...

Am I on glue? Jennifer Garner’s dress does not have stains on it, and Violet looks positively decent. Actually, I would wear every piece of Violet’s outfit. Except the glasses.

2 days ago

Well, here she is. Maxwell Drew Johnson, in a cheap headband,...

Well, here she is. Maxwell Drew Johnson, in a cheap headband, bare feet, and the butteriest Pop-Tartiest cheeks of all time, graces the cover of this week’s People. I hope she was worth the seventeen...

2 days ago

Coco Arquette’s half-hearted fashion creativity annoys me....

Coco Arquette’s half-hearted fashion creativity annoys me. At least Willow Smith and Nicki Minaj have the decency to try with their outlandish outfits. (It may be trying out of desperation, but at le...

3 days ago

What happened to the journalism industry?Us Weekly posted an...

What happened to the journalism industry? Us Weekly posted an article on Friday called “Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Vs. Suri Cruise: Style Showdown,” as if this isn’t a foregone conclusion and an embarrassment...

3 days ago

I know they are treating you like a young member of the Russian...

I know they are treating you like a young member of the Russian Imperial Family, but actually, your father is Nick Cannon and you are wearing jeans. You have no right to this facial expression.

25 may 12

My good friend (well, my future good friend) Kiernan Shipka is in this month’s Teen Vogue...

My good friend (well, my future good friend) Kiernan Shipka is in this month’s Teen Vogue talking about all of the expensive products she can’t live without. She’s particularly fond...

25 may 12

You know how I know Katherine Heigl is a witch?Because dark...

You know how I know Katherine Heigl is a witch? Because dark magic is the only way she could’ve gotten those jeans on.

24 may 12

Bored baby alert! Amaya Hermann, daughter of Mariska Hargitay,...

Bored baby alert! Amaya Hermann, daughter of Mariska Hargitay, was positively teeming with ennui at a Central Park event this week. I understand it. Public parks are extremely lame, and making celebr...

24 may 12

Score one for the universe, because Snooki is having a boy...

Score one for the universe, because Snooki is having a boy — one she plans to name either Lorenzo or Jionni, Jr. I would have felt so sorry for that baby if it was a girl, if only because of the hair...

23 may 12

Apple Martin dyed her hair pink for the Jay-Z concert that she...

Apple Martin dyed her hair pink for the Jay-Z concert that she attended with Gwyneth Paltrow and brother Moses. I really don’t like wacky hair on anyone who isn’t Katy Perry — and even then it’s hit ...

22 may 12

Kristin Cavallari celebrated her baby shower over the weekend,...

Kristin Cavallari celebrated her baby shower over the weekend, featuring world-famous guests Heidi Montag and Stephanie Pratt. If the most famous people you can get to come to your baby shower are th...

21 may 12

Look at this color-coordinated perfection from the senior members of the Beckham family. I would...

Look at this color-coordinated perfection from the senior members of the Beckham family. I would fit in so well with them. I’d match my outfits to theirs, and I wouldn’t even be embarrass...

21 may 12 2 people like this

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling so optimistic about celebrity child fashion, facial expressions,....

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling so optimistic about celebrity child fashion, facial expressions, and hats. This sad, floppy hat on Isla Fisher’s daughter Elula has me rethinking that optimism...

18 may 12

Jennifer Connelly! You have been holding out on us! Who knew you...

Jennifer Connelly! You have been holding out on us! Who knew you had such a beautiful baby? It’s not easy to pull off an all-white outfit when your skin is paler than Lady Mary’s in the wintertime, b...

17 may 12

Here is a story about Jaden Smith, as told by Will Smith, about...

Here is a story about Jaden Smith, as told by Will Smith, about a visit to the White House Situation Room: “Barack is talking about the Situation Room, and Jaden says, ‘Excuse me, Mr. President?’ And...

17 may 12

Classic Violet Affleck, trying to eat her clothes. Lesson Number...

Classic Violet Affleck, trying to eat her clothes. Lesson Number One: accessories aren’t food.

16 may 12

Ava Phillippe is so masterful with accessories that she can make...

Ava Phillippe is so masterful with accessories that she can make even the lamest school uniform look original, fresh, and polished. The neon bracelets are very on-trend, the jewel tone bookbag is fun...

16 may 12

Aww, how cute. What a wonderful moment of father-son bonding...

Aww, how cute. What a wonderful moment of father-son bonding between Orlando and Flynn Bloom. What a nice … I’m sorry. I can’t go on. Flynn’s mismatched stripes are one thing. This child wears so man...

15 may 12

Amy Poehler’s ginger baby is not amused.He is, however,...

Amy Poehler’s ginger baby is not amused. He is, however, still extremely ginger.

15 may 12

Jessica Simpson has a Twitter account, which she uses to promote her fashion lines, her reality...

Jessica Simpson has a Twitter account, which she uses to promote her fashion lines, her reality shows, and, now, her baby: I’m addicted to buying headbands w massive flowers for Maxwell on etsy...

14 may 12

A bunch of celebrities have descended upon Paris this week. I’m...

A bunch of celebrities have descended upon Paris this week. I’m jealous; like everyone else, I love Paris in the springtime – the weather, the new exhibits at the Musée d’Orsay, skipping the line at ...

11 may 12

That face James Wilkie Broderick is making is the exact same...

That face James Wilkie Broderick is making is the exact same face I made when I saw his outfit. Does he know his parents have money and can afford to buy him clothes without holes? And what would you...

11 may 12

So I have some news.While the Afflecks have been doting over Baby Samuel (and surely showering even...

So I have some news.While the Afflecks have been doting over Baby Samuel (and surely showering even less frequently than usual) and the Smiths have been spending loads of money attempting to bribe La...

10 may 12

It’s taken me a few days to really come to terms with what I am about to show you.After three panic...

It’s taken me a few days to really come to terms with what I am about to show you. After three panic attacks and one emergency session with my therapist, I am finally ready to admit that the followin...

09 may 12

Alicia Keys’s baby, Egypt Keys-Beatz, thinks he looks really...

Alicia Keys’s baby, Egypt Keys-Beatz, thinks he looks really cool, but in reality, he is wearing denim on denim at a Knicks game. With a pacifier strapped to his shirt.

08 may 12

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