Follow your favorite blogs!

Bloglovin' helps you follow the blogs you read by letting you know when they update.

Sign up »
Where's Whitney's Soup?
www.whitneysoup.com/index.html
12
it's them, not me
#108913 in All , #413 in Humor

Ho Ho Ho!

This entry has nothing to do with Santa Claus or hos (3 of them).My grandfather (whom, if youll recall, is my male wingwoman) has returned! (He lives in China half of the year and the ...

04 may 12

One Night Stand BFF

I made one last night. It started yesterday afternoon. One of my coworkers (whom, believe it or not, I actually like) had been incessantly telling me about one of his female friends that I remind him...

14 mar 12

Dissatisfied Fo Life

In the recent weeks, I have said to a few people, “You look good!” And they return with a face before thanking me. By a face, I mean one that expresses ‘As opposed to how I usually ...

05 mar 12 1 person likes this

I Will Be Wearing Yellow And Blue, Will You?

In 2 days - Happy Leap Day, everyone!!!   No matter who you are, please watch the Leap Day episode of 30 Rock. Its very hilarious. And youll need to in order to celebrate Leap Day properly....

27 feb 12 1 person likes this

Eating Orange Slices Can Be A Whole Lot O Fun

Ive had a tummy ache all day. So I didnt go to work. Luckily, I still have some of my medication left over from when I had pneumonia (during Pneumonia Break): ic prochlorperazine and ondansetron. One...

17 feb 12 1 person likes this

This Story Does Not Have A Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This is not a humor blog. This is my journal on the enemies I make in this miracle called life.   That said. A girl from my hometown and I occasionally ride the train ...

09 feb 12 1 person likes this

Friend Or Foe

Lately, I’ve been holding doors for Queen Bee whenever we encounter each other in the hallways. She’s getting bigger as she’s nearing her due date. I even explain to her, “I a...

29 jan 12 1 person likes this

Ode To Calvin And Perry

I miss my turtles, even the racist one. I used to have 2 of them. Calvin Klein and Perry Ellis. I was going to get a third - Ralph Lauren. But Calvin died so I changed my mind. And then I still had P...

29 jan 12

Mothereffing Snakes And Planes

A lady who was driving a red car pulled up next to me while I was walking on the sidewalk this morning. She also rolled down her window. She told me she loves my boots! Right then and there, I wanted...

27 jan 12 2 people like this

Yeah, Whitney Sucks!

How could anyone rag on a girl who was this cute once upon a time? Why I suck: I have to learn how to eat like a civilized human being. Both my work computer keyboard and home laptop keyboard have fo...

26 jan 12 2 people like this

More Failed Love Emails - Brother Saves The Day

Back to original lover interest - It was pouring rain here in Boston last week. And if you recall, rain was what brought my lover interest and me together, at which time I experienced love at fi...

19 jan 12 1 person likes this

Girl Fall Down

There’s one BFF in particular that I’m always helping out, the one who lives 802 miles away. Very frequently, he calls me so that I can console him on his life concerns. Which makes ...

10 jan 12 1 person likes this

Am I A Man Or Am I A Muppet?

After I get my final chest X-rays tomorrow to confirm that my pneumonia is gone, I’ll be able to put this whole disease behind me. And of course I couldn’t avoid telling coworkers when we...

04 jan 12

P Is For

PNEUMONIA! (but the P is silent)H is for HOSPITAL!P + H + Me = my holiday break!YAY! Actually, having P is more like this. And this. You know, the reason why it was imperative that I had a kick-ass b...

29 dec 11 1 person likes this

Beauty And Brains

a writer and an attractive person Take care of revenge right away. Push, shove, scratch that person while theyre still within arms reach. Dont let them get away! Who knows when youll get this opportu...

18 dec 11 1 person likes this

My Mentor Says

My time has finally come. I have reached Menteeship status.  standard noogie given to Mentee by Mentor I now have a Mentor!! My Mentor says to listen to these. My Mentor says to watch these. Che...

16 dec 11 1 person likes this

BFFs Strike Again

You know how I said that I now primarily hang out with old people and children? Well, the un-primarily time is spent with the grad students who go to the school I work for.  <3 And now Ive me...

10 dec 11

I Will Not Quack At The Principal

If any of you, my readers*, have noticed, I haven’t posted anything relating to me partying since September 29th. That’s because, in an attempt to transform myself into a mature adul...

08 dec 11 1 person likes this

If I Had The Balls (Part II)

Welcomed Guest: Knock, knock! Me: Come in! I apologize for the food and hairspray smells [as I finished lunch mere moments ago and then sprayed hairspray onto my hair]. Unwelcomed Guest (formerly kno...

30 nov 11 1 person likes this

Thirty-Three Dollars Richer

                             (This episode is funnier than youd think.) “Why are you eating so much candy? That’...

25 nov 11 1 person likes this

Roses, Turkey, and Pound Cake

I got two presents today! Roses! But not from Wannabe Lover (as in I want him to wanna be my lover). And pound cake - from another boy! (I think we all know what giving a girl pound cake from a ...

23 nov 11 1 person likes this

How Do You Do

A look at "How are you?" in the workplace (where almost everyone is a woman).Me: Hi, how are you? Someone is here to see you.Staff A: Not good. I am having a very bad day! * * *Staff B: ...

20 nov 11

Damn It!

<3  I met someone.  <3A cute guy needed a favor from me yesterday. He wanted to temporarily leave his musical instrument in my office because it looked like it was going to rain outsi...

15 nov 11 2 people like this

Fascinating, Tell Me More

IDIOT:  I used to have these Chinese bags.ME:  How do you know they were Chinese?IDIOT:  I bought them in Chinatown.You know its Chinese if you bought it in Chinatown. Just look at all...

12 nov 11 1 person likes this

Defense!

Queen Bee is picking on me. :( But shes doing it in a way thats perfectly subtle and calculated so that she ends up coming off as innocent and welcoming. Which is why Ive looked into h...

10 nov 11 3 people like this

It Doesnt Get Any Better Than This

Michael: Can you tell who’s gay and who’s not? Dwight: Of course. Michael: What about Oscar? Dwight: Absolutely not. Michael: Well, he is. Dwight: Well, he’s not dressed in women&rs...

06 nov 11 3 people like this

On My Way Home From Work

“I guess what I’m gonna do when I get home is take a shower, put on my pajamas, and make a fluffernutter.” (The fluffernutter "has been proposed as the official Massachusetts st...

02 nov 11 3 people like this

Not A Sexy Ninja This Year

Another one of my BFFs (I used to be a one-BFF type of girl, but not anymore. I’ve got 4.5* of them. They know about each other though so it’s okay. I don’t think there are any jeal...

31 oct 11 3 people like this

I Got The Blues

As of late, disappointment has been dumped onto me in a copious fashion. One inauspicious thing after another keeps surfacing. I cannot think of the last extraordinary thing to have occurred in ...

28 oct 11 3 people like this

An Apple A Day

One of the professors I work for invited me to sit in on her class this past Tuesday. As excited as I already was to get to observe this renown professor teach, I had no idea that my expectations wer...

22 oct 11 3 people like this

You are no longer following . Undo?