A few weeks ago, this blog was infected by a virus. That issue has been resolved and this blog is no longer a dangerous place to visit, but many readers still cannot access the page. I think that the...
Today I finally put Eve’s photo album together. Since we got our photos back from the hospital, I’ve been looking for the exactly right, wonderful-est, most perfect way to house them. But...
On Mondays, I catch you up on the beautiful gifts — both large and small, hard and comfortable — that God has been giving me. Start your own One Thousand Gifts adventure by clicking on the banner bel...
I have been struggling.I was going to write about how I am struggling to make art, to be creative. But although that’s true, that’s not the whole picture.The truth? I have been struggling...
Perhaps you have spied the new banner at the top of this blog’s sidebar. It proudly proclaims that I write for Still Standing Magazine! And I cannot express how honored and excited I am to ha...
Today I read an unsettling pregnancy loss statistic — that 6 in 1,000 pregnancies end in stillbirth. That’s less than one percent. How did I become so unlucky? Splendidly Similar:Too Smal...
… the world budding as spring makes itself known … making the yard pretty with the Best Husband Ever … talking with a sparrow … Costco pizza for lunch … chatting with fr...
Image source Today I talked with a sparrow. The Best Husband Ever and I were at Home Depot, browsing landscaping stones, when a sweet chirping captured my attention. I looked up and, cheeping from t...
When I think of my life before Eve died and was born, it seems like someone else’s life. It feels unfamiliar. Could those days have really been lived by me, in this same body that bore death? I...
After Eve died, I kept up my gratitude journal, even though it was difficult. I intended to keep counting gifts indefinitely, but as I neared and then passed my one thousandth gift, I noticed a shif...
Easter, as far as I understand it, is the ultimate story of love and redemption, of being known and being seen by the only One worth being known and seen by. I did not expect Easter to still hold the...
Easter is my favorite holiday. At least, it used to be. Before Eve died. Now, I am not sure how I feel about Easter, because it is a holiday — another milestone day to highlight the fact that...
Eve at her 20 week ultrasound Today I had my second O.B. appointment for this pregnancy. I felt much calmer leading up to it than I thought I was going to. That was a gift. Instead of worrying, I ...
It started with baby socks. Not long after Eve died, I felt like God promised that we would not only have another child, but that it would be the boy. I still don’t know if this promise came f...
Apparently my blog was infiltrated by a virus (or multiple viruses). Oops. After a morning of work, however, I think that the blog is now virus-free and safe for use. And, since I was tinkering anywa...
The past few weeks have been very strange. I haven’t been as anxious about this new pregnancy, which is good, but I wonder if that’s only because my brain has been occupied with other st...
This weekend our church held a one-day women’s retreat. The title and theme of the retreat was Seeing Gratitude, inspired by Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts. I had the honor of s...
It’s been a rough week here. I don’t even want to write about it. Let me just say that it’s not just about my daughter’s absence (although I am missing her so much), or being ...
I love this song. It makes me cry every time I hear it, especially this part: “I don’t know how long this will last. I’m praying for the pain to pass. But maybe this is the best thi...
Four months ago, I was waiting to go to the hospital to induce the birth of our dead daughter. Eight and a half weeks ago, I began the journey into pregnancy without even knowing that I was. One chi...
I’m pregnant again! We had our eight week ultrasound yesterday, and since Baby looks good with a heart rate of 174, I can’t help sharing. Primarily because we want lots of prayer —...
My blogging has been slowing down these past few weeks. Writing has become very difficult. I just don’t want to do it. I suppose that part of it is that I just don’t feel like I have a...
I want to share the story of how Eve got her name. The first thing I did after discovering I was pregnant in May 2011 was to begin making a list of potential names. My husband and I couldn’t a...
This song has been on repeat on my iPod since Eve died. It has become my anthem. As I wrote yesterday, the hope that I am clutching to through the questions and tears and darkness is that God wil...
These past few weeks have been so challenging. Up and down . . . and down . . . and down — that’s what it’s felt like, emotionally. The grief has been hard. I feel physically bea...
I am missing you more than ever. I thought that time would ease this pain, but it seems like each day is harder than the one before. Time is passing so slowly. I long for the future, for healing, ...
Today I spied this image in Artful Blogging. I’m in love with it. It represents where I am at so perfectly. Life has become even more messy, which I did not think possible. There is a lot o...
I’ve been listening to “Glory Baby” by Watermark a lot these past few days. I love this song because it tells so exactly the tension I have been living in since Eve died — un...
Today I’m part of a massive giveaway hosted by Fran at Small Bird Studios. I highly encourage you to check it out — not only because there are lots of amazing goodies to win, including a...
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