Keanu, Come Back To Me

I’m having a hard day. You can imagine my horror when I went to read The Daily Mail and saw that Keanu, my Neo, my darling, had gone from this: and this: to this: Keanu, you and I both know you’re...

Ask Babe: Final Fat-asy

Dear Babe, I’m in the throws of final exams right now, and I just can’t stop thinking about punctuating my studying with fatty food. It really sucks because, until now, I’d been eating so healthy...

GOOP 101

So some rando Internet person attempted to go into the wilderness of acceptable eating guided only by Gwyneth’s new book and found it to be a successful and enlightening experience. As a seasoned...

Ask Babe: Good Rap

Dear Babe, I’m considering a career in rapping. Chic or not chic? xx A***** Tan Mom, Not chic. BUT…let’s think about this for a sec. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s never really been a chic...

Full. Body. Chills.

I Can’t Even

It’s raining today and I might be “bloated” for the first time in my life and I just can’t handle anything right now. I can’t handle this marriage while I’m single. I still can’t handle this couch!...

So, The Met Gala Happened…

And what a shitshow it turned out to be. This year’s theme was “Punk: Chaos to Couture,” which you’d think would excite the fashion masses, but most of them chose to disregard the theme altogether,...

Musique Babe: ‘Is Tropical’

This video just gets me. And this song will be on repeat in my car for the next 2 months. And I need to invite this band over for green juice and cigarettes because I’m obsessed. You are so...

A Lesson From Kate Moss

Psychos, please take note of this picture. This is why you can never let smoking, the sun, bad lighting, that hair,that jewelry, that makeup, that facial expression, or time happen to your face....

NBGay

I’ve been so over the NBA lately. Yes, the players are hot and make tons of money, but they also sleep with Kardashians. It’s boring. But just when I think I’m totally ready to let go of basketball...

Ask Babe: Shut Up To Feel Better

Dear Babe, So I broke up with my live in boyfriend of a year over fb messages I found on his phone to an old hook up, who by the way looks like a man, telling her how great she looks recently. To...

Who Are You?

I’ve been arrested. I have to admit, it was a low point in my otherwise covetable life. But when you’re being arrested, my biggest piece of advice is to go with it. Ride it out. If you’re playing...

Ask Babe: Not A Maid

Hi Babe, Every time I go to my boyfriend’s apartment it’s a mess and he gets mad that I don’t touch anything for cleaning. I used to help him to clean the apartment, but after a day of cleaning, he...

Nudeness Rudeness

Someone just emailed me about something called the Naked News. Is anyone else disturbed/fascinated/confused by it? It’s pretty clear none of these women can read. They claim to be “the world’s most...

I Have An Addiction, Sir

My therapist recently challenged me to not spend any money on clothes for a month, which may sound easy, but lest you forget: shopping is my heroin, dressing rooms are my syringes and credit cards...

Ask Babe: Leo Date?

Babe, Can’t breathe! Lana, Florence, Prada inspired costumes wearing Carey Mulligan…LEO! Pre-game before, I’ll bring the kush and xanies. What time should I pick you up? S******** Claire Danes,...

Ask Babe: Naked Ambition

Babe, Time and again I feel like I want to be a stripper. The money is supposedly great and I truly think I would love it/ be really amazing. Is there any chic way to respond to this dark impulse?...

High Style

I’d consider myself a pothead but I would not consider myself an asshole, there’s a difference. My dilemma is that I’m always looking for new ways to be stoned in public without looking like an...

My Ex-Boyfriend: Ryan Lochte

Shame fucks are a part of life. I knew I would eventually have one. But, is mine… Ryan Lochte? I never thought I’d need to ask that question. Ryan was supposed to be the perfect counter-programming...

So Coachella Happened…

And it was a fashion embarrassment for most everyone involved. I’m unclear on people thinking that they can resuscitate the worst trends from the 60′s just because they’re at a music festival in...

Ask Babe: The Ugly Gene

Dear Babe, My cousin didn’t want me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding bc she thought I was too pretty and I would steal her day. Now she doesn’t want me around bc I’m too pretty and thinks I will...

Ask Babe: Festival Ready?

Hi, Babe, I am going to so many music festivals that I can’t decide what to wear anymore and want to do something different. Do you have any tips on what to wear? What would you wear to an...

Scary Movie (Faces)

This is how Lindsay Lohan reacts every time she sees herself in a mirror. It’s sad really. Last night was the Scary Movie 5 Premiere. I’m gonna go ahead and show you guys some pictures of the red...

Reason #381 To Never Leave Your House: Farfetch

Once I found Nicky Hilton’s phone on a bathroom floor, that was fun. Once I found a vintage Kenzo scarf in the back of a cab, that was chic. Once I even found a small child under a table at The...

Babe/Babette: The Draper Women

I need to talk about “Mad Men.” It’s obvious that Joan is a complete Babe, while Peggy tends more towards Babette. And Roger Sterling is forever a Babe, while Pete Campbell is a Babette (gender is...

Ask Babe: Tanning = Death

Dear Queen B, I’m super torn and I need your help. Tanning: chic or not chic? I can’t decide. I’m naturally fair-skinned, so on one hand I feel like I can rock the pale French runway look, but on...

Ask Babe: Perrier…Yay or Nay?

Hi Babe, aka queen of the universe, Is Perrier still aceptable as water? I like the taste but I’m scared you could judge me as démodé or even worse nouveau riche. And water is my only idea of...

Musique Babe: Jessie Ware

Jessie Ware finally has an album coming out and I cannot wait to devote a few days to being depressed and then use her music to regain my sense of self. I don’t blame you if you don’t know who she...

Ask Babe: Pet Death

Hi Babe, Today I had to put my little dog of 10 years down. He was my baby. How do I cope? XOXO, E******** Dear Sad & Alone, I’m not going to tell you to get drunk, do drugs, go on a cleanse, shave...

Marc Jacobs: Movie Star

If you’re like me, and you went to see Spring Breakers alone and very stoned, chances are you paid attention to the trailer for Disconnect and saw none other than MARC FUCKING JACOBS making his...