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Holy Candy | The Altar of the Superficial | Celebrities, Gossip, Entertainment, Pop Culture, Humor
holycandy.com
26
Poking fun at celebrity and entertainment news. Because the regular news is too darn depressing.
#50236 in All , #238 in Humor

Things Husbands and Toddlers Have in Common

Not that I’m talking about my husband, of course. Just some husbands. In general. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

1 day ago

Guess the Product They’re Advertising to Moms

Here’s the scoop: I’ve collected some print ads targeted toward us moms and women, cropped the logo and/or name of the product, and thrown them up there to see if you can guess what it is...

2 days ago

Oh Boy: Honey Boo Boo Scores Toddlers & Tiaras Spin-Off

If a dolla’ makes pageant queen Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson holla’, then we’re about to find out what a bunch of TLC cash makes her do… Yes, this August, the 6-...

2 days ago

Awkward Clip of the Day: Kathie Lee Asks Martin Short How His Deceased Wife is Doing

Oh, Kathie Lee. I catch Kathie Lee on TV every once in a while when getting the kids ready for daycare. And, without fail, I watch and think: WOW. Just how much wine does that woman drink on-set, any...

2 days ago

Potty Training: 10 Signs It May Not Be Going Well

Being in the midst of off-and-on potty training, ourselves, I thought I would share some wisdom I’ve gleaned along the way — mainly, 10 signs that potty training may not be going well. 1....

3 days ago

These Second Grade Teachers Are Setting Us Up, Man

The smile, the flushed face, the rays of sunshine surrounding her and the hearts to communicate Mom’s love of alcohol — yeah, I’d say the kid has perfectly captured the essence of a...

3 days ago

The “Gift” of a Toddler’s Gab

Few things make a parent more proud than hearing their child’s first words. And few things make a parent more embarrassed than hearing their child yelling certain words at the top of their lung...

3 days ago

The Family Dish: Tori Spelling Forgets Half of Her Bathing Suit & Jamie Lynn Spears Posts Rare Pic ...

MATERNI-KINI: Pregnant Tori Spelling looks pretty kick-ass in a, um, demure bathing suit Poor thing must have pregnancy brain because she forgot half of her suit! THE OTHER SPEARS SISTER: Jamie Lynn ...

3 days ago

Funny Cat Picture: What Happens When the Baby Misses Her Nap

“I cannot WAIT till she finally falls asleep so I can hit the catnip cabinet,” thinks Mom. Photo Source

3 days ago

Munchable Cheeks Alert: Jessica Simpson Debuts Baby Maxwell

Good thing I just had my daily PB&J, otherwise I just might have stalked the Simpson-Johnson household to nibble on those baby cheeks… Looks like People was the highest bidder for the ̶...

4 days ago

Listen Up, Ladies: Guys Reveal Fave Mattress Moves!

If you’ve been too busy working and taking care of your family to GET busy, you’re in luck: that especially lusty member of the family of women’s magazines, Cosmopolitan, has published a ...

4 days ago

That Moment You Find Out Your Son Has Problems Taking Direction from Princesses

Talk about grumpy (see what I did there?). I’m guessing the kid also wouldn’t take kindly to Cinderella telling him to use sentence case and apostrophes. Source

4 days ago

Top 10 Explanations for Beyonce’s Questionable “60-Pound Weight Loss”

During a recent concert Beyonce told fans, ”I had to lose 60 pounds. They had me on that treadmill. I ate lettuce! Now tonight I’m gonna get chocolate wasted!” But people are buzzin...

4 days ago

Kids’ Birthday Cakes Made with Love, Cluelessness

Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Your cake is a mutation of the character you asked for The baker didn’t have a clue. Look, kids! Its Dora the Engorger. Mickey Mouse goes all Lindsay...

5 days ago

Important Laughing Stork Public Service Announcement: Fifty Shades of Grey Syndrome

5 days ago

Funny Dog Picture: You Know You’re a Mom When…

…Your arm has fallen asleep, but you don’t dare move it in fear of waking the baby.

5 days ago

Top 10 Things I Will Remember This Memorial Day

10. A time when I was able to leave the house and get into the car in less than two hours. 9. My once legendary tolerance. 8. Sleep. 7. A day when something other than the Fresh Beat Band blared from...

25 may 12

The Family Dish: Katherine Heigl Introduces Baby Adalaide & Aishwarya Rai Rocks Cannes, Horns

WHOLE ‘NOTHER KIND OF WORLD PREMIERE: Katherine Heigl introduces baby Adalaide As Naleigh puts a reassuring hand on Katherine’s shoulder: “Mom, let’s have a talk about that cr...

25 may 12

Funny Cat Picture: Getting Cat-Blocked

“Stop right there. The last time we ‘wrestled,’ I ended up having eight kittens.”

25 may 12

Social Media: Explained for Moms

There’s a funny chart going around with a breakdown of social media using donuts as an example. Although donuts are awesome — in fact, I’m craving a glazed one right now – I t...

24 may 12

Filed Under Potentially-Icky- But-Hopefully-Not : Ashton Kutcher and Rumer Willis Continue to “Hang O...

Okay, let’s hope Rumer isn’t tapping into her inner Soon-Yi (or tapping anything else, for that matter)… In what is hopefully just a sweet and totally innocent continuation of a ste...

24 may 12

Hank Baskett Jr.: Static Electricity Win

“”Hey, you! Kid who told me to rub my head on the balloon?! NOT COOL!”

24 may 12

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from ’50 Shades of Grey’

Granted, I’m only halfway through book #2 in the trilogy, but it’s been quite an education nonetheless. What I’ve learned: 10. A virgin who orgasms — twice — her first t...

23 may 12

Reader-Submitted Funny Kid Photo: Sweet(ly Uncomfortable-Loo king) Surrender

Looks like somebody heroically fought the Battle of Tangled Blankets… and lost. With thanks to Laughing Stork reader, Russ of The Stay at Homer, who submitted the picture of his son and notes: ...

23 may 12

Fun for Parents: The Fresh Beat Band Drinking Game

If you happen to find yourself watching The Fresh Beat Band long after the kids have gone to sleep (not that Mr. Candy and I, um, have ever done that), then why not make it even more entertaining wit...

23 may 12

Parenting in Internet Age: Daughter ‘Begged’ for Spanking Instead of Mom’s Mortifying Web Photo

My mom always tells me she doesn’t envy me, having to raise kids in the Internet era. After all, all she had to worry about me doing as an adolescent was sending gushing fan letters to Ricky Sc...

23 may 12

Pop Quiz: Tori Spelling’s Daughter Hattie is Thinking ____

Hattie McDermott is thinking what in this picture? 1) “You are not SERIOUSLY having another baby already, are you, Mom? …MOM?!” 2) “Out of sweet potatoes? Whatchoo talkin̵...

23 may 12

Our House of Gaga

When you have a two-and-a-half-year-old, you find yourself having interesting conversations that you probably wouldn’t otherwise have (barring the presence of wacky baccy). It forces you to thi...

22 may 12

Why You Shouldn’t Mess with Women: Exhibit A

Although it’s not on fire, so I’d say he got off easy. The story…

22 may 12

Father of the Week So Far: Desmond Hatchett, Father of 30 Kids, Asks for Break on Child Support

Apparently, there has been a 14-year emergency shortage of condoms in Knoxville, because a 33-year-old man living there has fathered 30 — yes, THIRTY — children and is asking the courts f...

22 may 12

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