When we were alone, he described her as "exquisitely gentle" and that was the perfect way to put it. At first I thought her near-whisper voice was an act, but the more time I spent around her...
"I fail a lot but in my heart Im trying," he wrote me. That was almost too sad to bear. I went to my second tarot card reading. As in the first, this woman told me I would have three children...
I burrowed into the bed, layered a robe between my body and the sheets, hot with fever, burning like a lamp. I felt the slow lighting between my legs as I read Angela Carter after a brief sleep. And ...
"Look at this!" I said slyly as I pulled my pants down. "My boyfriend keeps feeding me desserts but I keep getting skinnier.""I need to go on your diet," he said from across t...
He was insecure, quite overweight and impotent. Those are not necessarily ingredients for a bad date. Ive had hot sex with someone heavy. Ive come with someone impotent. And were all insecure in cert...
"Ah, so he wants a whore," I thought when I felt his hand in my hair, yanking my head from his mouth to his cock and back again. So many men of the men I see want to forget theres money invol...
There is an old folktale I came across constantly as a child. A man becomes infatuated with a striking woman who wears a red velvet ribbon around her neck. He pursues her devoutly and she agrees to m...
The night I saw the uncanny client, I also saw Jacob. I’d sent him a message on the train saying that I would be in his town but wouldn’t have time to visit. He badgered me a bit and finally I mentio...
This is what it was like: he was young-looking and young, tattooed with nearly shorn hair and boyish, slightly goofy. His body was knobby and tailored like all runners’ but broad in the chest like a ...
Incredible wetness. Brush against anything—his thighs, the sheets—and leave a trail wetness, with no relief. He won’t touch me between my legs. His palms slide down but around and away, following the...
She went down on me and I faked coming as my client held and kissed me. I seized him with an intensity mimicking the tidal pull of an orgasm. He hugged me like it was, like we’d just shared something...
The world is full of artificial value obscuring the real value. I’m only 27. You probably shouldn’t take any of what I say to heart. But I have seen how attaining what I desired is not fulfilling. Th...
He gives often and without fanfare. It has always been this way. No wrapping, no ceremony. Everything like the diamonds sneaked in along the curve of a delicate pendant, almost tucked into the side. ...
The pressures off. Even with my favorite clients, the ones who are easy-going and pay the most. Expendables too negative a word. Theyre not expendable as people, but theyre expendable as my source. N...
In the middle of a particularly tough barre class, I sat down. The instructor came to my side and I waved her away, smiling, whispering “it’s okay, I’m okay, I think I’m pregnant,” and even while say...
Most of you probably don’t remember, but a long time ago I said that if I were to be reincarnated as any animal, I would want it to be the Bar-headed Goose. I first found out about them through the f...
I spent a few days studying with the teacher who took me through the fire meditation last year, who is also the teacher I retreated to see after the abortion, and the discussion at one point touched ...
I met a new client who I didn't think I would get along with. His emails were bitter and off-putting but I suspected I would be good for him. I realize that sounds arrogant and maybe it is. But I tho...
I don't want to write here anymore. Can you tell that? I want to start keeping my stories to myself. Maybe I feel like I'm running out. My favorite, original teacher retired to go to yet more teacher...
I've been working a lot lately and neglecting all my practices: asana, meditation, pranayama, writing, etc. He emailed, by the way. We've been emailing daily, setting up one of our non-sex dates. It ...
I reunited with one of my most eccentric clients not long ago. I'd love to tell you about him, not to ridicule or gawk at his tastes but simply because they're so wonderful. It's truly wonderful that...
Lately I've been fantasizing about Jacob and Mike, one fucking me from behind and pulling back my head so the other can come on my face. I don't usually use real people in my fantasies. Almost exclus...
Most of the other women wore cocktail dresses, some very sparkly, and other women wore dresses over leggings or pants, which is not something I realized women still did. Several older men wore suits....
I'm drinking a lot of tea: lemon ginger, green with orange, rooibos gifted by a sweet and gentle client I've lost touch with. Another client and I once had a long discussion about tea in the afternoo...
I've stopped getting my period regularly, which means something isn't right, and I know I'm trying to strip too much away. Half of the time I'm in down dog, I look back at my thighs and think, woah, ...
I have never met Ekstasis or sent him anything through the mail and we really haven't emailed much, but in the dream we were exchanging packages; I think I sent him a mix CD and he sent me a USB driv...
He broke his back in his early twenties. He lay for hours in the cold until someone found him, which he credited as a blessing since it allowed him immediate time alone to come to terms with his futu...
When he first told me, I began crying, smiling a little at the same time. Of my tears I was thinking a surprised version of "I guess I'll learn from this" or "this will take some thinking on" or “I d...
I told him about looking into my safe and feeling a type of terror. I told him about burning the books in the fire. I told him about that stupid commercial for the Olympics that features a skier tell...
My own name came to me like the sound of a bell. With a client's cock in my mouth and my freshly fucked pussy pointed to a window where other couples in the club watched: ______. I reached out and cl...
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