To be clear, the reason the slices for storyline, director, and cast are so small is not because I’m not excited about all three, but because trailer screeching noises are just that important t...
Lemonade? Pshh… -Ray Tweet
Contact me for the movie rights. -Ray Tweet
The scientific name for the downward curve on the chart is “I hate my brain.” -Will Tweet
“Diablo III, here I come.” -Ray Tweet
I recently discovered my neighbor has a microwave with a +30 seconds button, so now when I have a difficult problem like this I just walk over and use hers. -Will Tweet
He’s a frequent disliker of CPR tutorial videos. -Will
On a historically important and related note… -Ray
Take away the gratuitous violence, charming imp, and dragons, and my company is just as captivating as the Game of Thrones. -Raf
It turns out that was actually a guy dressed in a clown suit looking for love. But she wasn’t talking to him. So as always, everyone was sad but the dumb guy. -Will
Applies equally to blog posts. -Ray
This may or may not be based on a true story. -Raf
DOGHOUSEDIARIES: “We definitely use our twitter account to test out jokes/ideas, then re-use them in comics.” -Will
I can only logically conclude that in the future you’ll be doing all of these things in your sleep … at the same time. -Ray
The locals call that gray area, “MOVE OVER! LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE YOU HAVE!” -Raf
Just kidding. It’s actually one big inside joke and you’re the only one who’s not in on it. -Will
C3PO especially hates having to pole vault. -Ray
The problem is, without God-Kings enslaving us and forcing us to build temples for them, we have no choice but to pay for the pleasure of moving heavy objects. -Raf
I want you guys to know that when I die, you’re all invited to my funeral. -Will
What would be the female equivalent to this gift, i.e. one that she gets herself, but for someone else? [You can tell us on our Facebook page] -Ray
Moral of the story: Don’t trust translucent floating people. -Raf
Applies equally if you replace “product” with “comic”. ;) -Ray p.s. Our RANDOM COMIC button is a proper one for the first time ever, and won’t break anymore!
This is how I remind my cat that I run the show. That is, until she does that cute thing with her face and then I’m putty in her paws. -Raf
Sigh… Those guys always get the girls. -Will
And we thought bluetooth made us look crazy… -Ray
I can’t trust myself to be alone in a grocery store anymore. I always screw something up. Did she say get milk, eggs, and cheese, or was it sugary cereal, chips, and pizza? I can never remem...
I’d like to take this opportunity to share a joke someone told with me recently: Two cows are standing in a field. One turns to the other and says, “Hey… Are you at all worried abo...
Don’t you lie to me. You totally made sure that I got the settlement/city spacing right… -Ray
I will not entertain any claims of creamy peanut butter’s legitimacy as a peanut derivative. -Raf
This comic is 12 years late. -Will
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