There are all sorts of things at which I excel. For example, I can listen to a podcast and read a book simultaneously and retain nearly all of both. Also, I give a stellar blow job. These are just...
Sometimes I think that having OCD is like having a super awesome special power. Like Superman can fly (or something. I don’t know, I’m a girl and not a virgin so superhero facts are not...
So I’ve been watching Ally McBeal on Netflix and HOLY JESUS you guys this show is terrible. While that may not seem like much of a revelation to you, I used to love this show when it first ai...
1. Ask me, “So, when are you and Ben going to start a family?” 2. Respond with, “You’re pregnant!” when I say, “I have good news!” <insert eight other i...
But instead of three days it took fourteen months. To be fair Jesus is kind of an overachiever, so don’t judge me too harshly. I would love to give you an explanation for why I suddenly stopp...
Oh Internet, I am so tired. I no longer fear death, instead I would welcome it as an excuse for a long nap. Let me be clear, I love the Philippines, it is not the Philippines that is making me feel...
Tomorrow I am leaving for Manila. Tomorrow I will get up at an ungodly hour and drive to Logan airport and get on an airplane. And then I will throw up and pray to Jesus. And then throw up some mo...
Please excuse Jillian from her post this week. She is leaving for Manila in a few days and is currently in the midst of a nervous breakdown. She will return next week with her essay on the joys of ...
I realize I’m a little late to the party, 3 days late. Forgive me. Currently I am married to this gorgeous man. These days Valentine’s Day is a fun affair. This year Ben bought me flowers and choco...
There is probably nothing I hate more than when someone forwards me some asinine email about crime rates, or people of Walmart, or a video of some kid dancing to some piece of music that makes my ear...
Funny story, my dad once got a letter from Stephen King’s lawyers informing my father that he was to cease and desist in sending mail to the author. What precipitated this letter, you ask? Well, my...
If I were independently wealthy I would totally be a recluse. I think I would be awesome at it. I would be able to dedicate all of my time to cleaning and developing my neurosis. I realize that mo...
I have a real job that is not blogging related. That real job is sending me to the Manila. In the Philippines. In Asia. And I have so much to say about it, but since I don’t blog about work...
Oh Internet, how long has it been since I updated you on the state of my mental health? Too long, you say. That’s what I thought. Let me give you the haiku version first. Still crazy in head...
Dearest People Who Read This, My brain hurts, so I’m going to do something a little different today. I’m going to share lots of random thoughts. None of which are related. Well, they ...
I just now had an epiphany. An epiphany so large that I had to share it with the Internet right away. I AM A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON. Tonight, as I was going through my nightly ritual of blog reading (...
Fun fact, Ben and I started officially dating just 3 short years ago today. And now we’re happily married! Or at least I am, Ben is chained to the radiator right now, so I’ll have to as...
I may have mentioned here before that I’m someone who enjoys solitude on occasion. In keeping with that particular personality trait, I sometimes suck as a friend. I am notoriously difficult to get...
At my core, I am an insecure narcissist who needs lots of approval from others in order to continue functioning. It follows that one of my favorite things in life is the specific brand of validation...
My back is broken. Well, my sacrum. Not my entire back. Like I can still walk and stuff. I’ve gotten ahead of myself, lets back up a bit. Monday morning, I take Coco out for a walk before I...
I hate Christmas. For many reasons, some of which I will outline for you here: 1.) I do not like events that require “family time.” I feel this is self-explanatory, but in case its not, I’ll ela...
A surprising number of people are into freaky pilgrim on ninja porn. And Ben and I are happy to oblige, however there is a minor issue. My camera is awful. Like it is the worst camera ever. After...
Happy Thanksgiving Americans!! This is my favorite holiday. Why? Many reasons, allow me to elaborate: I Hate Turkeys. I live in New Hampshire, and in case you weren’t aware, New Hampshire i...
Up until now there have been only two subjects that I considered off limits in this blog. 1. My job. This is purely practical. I have no interest in being dooce’d. I work in a conservative field, ...
Lady Gaga frightens me. Like she is the scariest horror movie villain of all time. Except that horror movie, is life. And she’s not so much a villain, as a symbol of my serious lack of appreciatio...
First off, I am not dead. Secondly, I did not quit blogging. Thirdly, your emails? They touched me. Inappropriately. They made me take my top off and they touched me. It was very uplifting. On to...
This is better than a blowjob. From Andy Dick. Its way worse than a blowjob from Megan Fox or something. But way superior to an Andy Dick blowjob. And on that note… Introducing, my super aw...
First off, I really want to say thank you to all of you who have commented and emailed asking if I’m okay. You can’t imagine how much I appreciate it. And let me assure you, I am totall...
Yet. Close though. See, I have this incredibly annoying medical condition. When I am under extreme stress, I get physically sick. Its a very rare condition called jillisfuckingcrazy-itis. I̵...
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