Realizations hit you a whole lot more like a wave than a wall when you're within the safe confines of a treatment center. Especially when you're guarded against the thing you're trying...
I'm currently posting from inside Monte Nido Vista eating disorder treatment facility in Agoura Hills, California. I am living in a residential treatment center, I am NOT on Facebook, and my acc...
Monday morning at 10:30, I'll be moving into Monte Nido Vista in Agoura Hills to finally kick the ass of the eating disorder that has held me back for eleven long, difficult years. I don't ...
At this point I am reaching up to touch rock bottom emotionally and when it comes to my eating disorder. I have been staying with an ex for a month now, and I can't handle it. It is OVER, it...
I still feel like leaning over and kissing your forehead, brushing your hair out of your face, laying down and wrapping my legs around yours. My body is still on autopilot and I have to stop myself f...
I have been engaged exactly once, although I have been "pre-proposed to" with a ring and made plans to marry someone else once I was finished with college. I have also been in a serious, lo...
Zooey Deschanel in every role I've ever seen her play. Drew Barrymore half the time. that one girl, she's so fucking special, she's "different", she makes you think things ar...
The last two mornings I've been in CRAZY pain and had no idea why. Chest and lower back hurting, terrified, laying in bed crying. Anyone who follows me on twitter or Facebook has obviously seen ...
I'm not just here to play shows. If you knew me before you met me in LA, you know that. I'm on the verge of diving head first into eating disorder treatment for the shit that has literally ...
Through the eleven years that this nightmare of an eating disorder has dictated my life, my mother has had to watch as her baby girl literally destroyed her body on a daily basis. She had to stand by...
There is something so incredibly unsettling and hard to handle about getting up to go to the bathroom, rounding the corner and seeing the door open, and your half-naked ex boyfriend, the one who just...
I'm reeeeeeeally good at dealing with being ignored, as much as I hate it. I think it's childish and it drives me up a wall when that's someone's go-to response to any kind of dis...
I was taught "turn the other cheek", but I have a big mouth and I can run like hell, so that didn't seem like as much fun as punching the shit out of someone for something they'd ...
Setlist for Canoga Park is ready, and dear GOD am I ready to be on that stage, especially since Kirk House, who happens to be one of my biggest inspirations and also one of the most talented performe...
as I type this I'm sitting in a window seat on a Virgin America flight straight to Los Angeles. ladies and gentlemen, this is a one-way ticket.I am not coming back to Texas permanently ever agai...
sometimes you just know when something isn't right. there's this feeling in your gut, like maybe you're wrong and you need to run. sometimes the silence can't be broken no matter ...
Being here is so terribly hard. I'm laying in bed right now crying, because it's a lot easier to just cry, to let it out, and to accept that yes, right now I'm hurting, the pain isn&...
There are so many people who would give anything to be where I am right now. To be next to someone they love, in a giant house with everything they could possibly want at their fingertips. People I...
There is something so absolutely horrible about being awake when the sun isn't up all by yourself. It's 4:42, and it's completely dark outside. For some reason this just makes me think...
Have you ever had one of those times where you pleaded and pleaded with God, beggd until your voice gave out, sobbed and prayed and promised things if only He'd save you from what you were afrai...
Should I feel guilty for rocking out to Joan Jett I the car this morning instead of the Dropkick Murphys and The Briggs? Whatever. I'll Irish out later. Once I've had a Guinness.
I have lost the ability to sleep. For me, losing a normal sleeping pattern is no different than losing a sock in the dryer, or losing your car keys, or somehow misplacing your pants while you were...
In case any curious, ignorant, or otherwise negligently uninformed parties were unaware, Ian and I are done. We have been for quite some time, and any word to the contrary is bullshit. Whoever happen...
It is 4:24 in the morning. I am wide awake, sitting on the couch in my father's living room, a place I swore to myself I would never be again, not after I left ACU to rekindle things with an ...
This is the part where we sit down and have a come to Jesus talk about things that are not, in any way, shape, or form, acceptable to do to your children. (When I say children, I mean children betwe...
Did I eat my pills today? Why is this stupid browser taking so long to integrate all my social media crap? Why can't dooce post more often? I will die if Heather and Jon Armstrong get divorced....
EDITED TO ADD: Like I said, major controversy and hurt feelings. Chelby, I never meant you any ill will, but what you said about me as a person and otherwise was outright wrong. You don't know m...
dear god, my life is huge trainwreck right now and none of you have gotten to witness the crash! you poor babies! let me fill you in on the heaping pile of shit. 1) the person I thought I'd en...
My heart is heavy tonight. The beautiful, incredible, vibrant Jackie got some terrible news, just on the heels of WhyMommy (Susan Niebur) losing her battle. I hate cancer. I hate the unfair and imbal...
Where did I go right?How did I get you? I don't know how I did, but somehow now... I do. I'm about to play the biggest show of my life. I climbed a mountain yesterday and spent tonight ...
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