Jim Plocker

Relationship Jeans

I was speaking with a friend today who recently got out of a relationship and in turn lost her favorite jeans. I too once lost my favorite jeans to a relationship turned sour, and along with that some integrity. So obviously I knew what she was going through. And it got me thinking that besides jeans you really lose a lot of things when you get out of a relationship. Such as: dignity (they definitely saw you cry… and in some cases beg, repeatedly), boning, the ability to go to the bar you always frequented without running into the ex with their new drunk significant other. You may have lost a couple coffee shops too, you definitely lost his friends that had turned into your friends, his friends that you secretly wanted to have sex with, and his wife that used to be your friend (in some cases, I hear.)

The confusing part about all this is that you lose so much when you leave a relationship but you don’t really gain that much when you first enter one. You mostly just gain weight because suddenly you have someone to eat dinner with, and you might also gain a couple of STDs when they convince you that they’re definitely not sleeping with anyone else and you should stop using condoms. You definitely gain some bloat from holding in all your farts when you hang out. But you certainly don’t gain your favorite jeans back. So how is there so much to lose at the end when you gained so little at the beginning? Tricky little paradox huh?

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