Ben's Bitter Blog

bensbitterblog.com · May 15, 2021

5G Bitter Friday Giftures

There was a story in the news yesterday and today about a person who won $26 million in lottery. That would be a happy day right? Most of the time, yes. Unfortunately, there was a tiny little problem. The winner didn’t turn in the ticket…and then didn’t turn in the ticket…and then forgot to turn in the ticket? The expiration date was yesterday. Today we hear that the person…lost the ticket. Ummm….I’m probably most bitter person in world. But this person has got to be the second, amiright? We are told the reason is because she lost it.

The minute you lose the ticket, do you not call the lottery office and see if there is a way to prove you had it? Do you maybe keep that ticket in a safe? Do you not perhaps let your mother who is a hoarder keep it? Even take a picture or make a video to prove you had the ticket? I’ve lost a lot of things in my life. I’ve even lost a wallet that $120 in my life. But I’ve never lost $26 million before.

Do you know who else has lost $26 million before? Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates. One of these people in particular is about to lose a whole lot more soon. Yeah, Billy Boy Gates just announced this week, that he’s getting a divorce and with that, well, a whole heck of a lot more more money than that. Probably closer to $26 Billion. Well, he deserves it because he put 5G into my by way of the vaccine. On the one hand, hey at least I can read people’s thoughts. But, the bad thing is that I keep setting off metal detectors, and can’t seem to leave a Walmart without getting accused of shoplifting.

Well, enjoy this really fast 5G related Bitter Friday Giftures…

The Flash is only fast…

…because he got 5G before everyone else.

In the Bruce Almighty…

…God gave Jim Carrey 5G years ago.

While Kevin is really good at making chili…

…he’s still operating on 4G LTE.

Some people are just not quite ready…

…for the 5G.

Other people…

…are definitely ready for it.

Too bad the Spaceballs people…

…didn’t have 5G back then.

Most elephants don’t have 5G…

…but this one got early access.

You are getting very sleepy…

…also I’m reading your mind.

Doc was always ahead of his time…

…or was he behind? Think about it.

Wonder how Dwayne Johnson got really strong…

…yep 5G.

Even David Hasselhoff…

…got implanted with the 5G.

Look at the clown on the left…

…she may now be the biggest lottery winner ever.

Sadly, Bill Gates created this unprecedented speed with the 5G, implanted in all of us, and now it’s coming back to haunt him by way of Melinda Gates taking him for half of all he has. I wonder if that is why he’s been giving all his money to charity for the last 10 years. Maybe so Melinda gets less in the divorce. Maybe his power from 5G was seeing the future.

ARRGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter 5G Ben

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