The ONE Problem with Making Friends as an Adult
Imagine you’re back in preschool and making friends as an adult doesn’t concern you in the slightest. You see another child playing with a toy that interests you. What does your 4-year-old self do? I bet there is a 95% chance that you walked over to that child and said something along the lines of:
“Hi, I really like that toy you’re playing with. Can we be friends?” This is assuming you weren’t a selfish child that would just walk up and snatch the toy right up I have more faith in you Blissful readers!
This past week has really made me think about the friend-making process and begin to wish it was as easy as when I was a child. A time where it wasn’t creepy to simply strike up a conversation with a stranger–even when you’re not trying to hit on them. A time where you didn’t seem desperate to ask to be friends. A time where there wasn’t a problem with making friends as an adult. And definitely a time where you didn’t even think about what the other person would say/think of you!
Throughout my blogging journey, I have longed to make genuine friends in the process, which has actually happened. And I am so grateful for these wonderful relationships. However, I feel as if my strongest relationships were formed at the beginning of both my and my friends’ blogging journeys, so it was 10 x easier to reach out and not feel intimidated. We simply bonded over not knowing what was going on, sharing tips tricks on stuff we just learned, and going through the trials tribulations that any blogger knows all too well.
But as I have been in the game for over a year now, how am I supposed to make more friends? Yes, engaging with other blogs is key, but most of the time I feel like that just keeps the relationship at “blogger friend” status and not at an actual “real-life friend” status. And yes, you can friend request said blogger, but how do you strike up conversations without being annoying? OR how do you know if they even want to communicate with you?
Well, this week I did the unthinkable. I was chatting with (my now friend) Taylor from Blonde and Ambitious about various blogging stuff and the conversation was going so well! So you know what I did? I literally said, “Ahhh I’m so glad I reached out! Is it weird to say let’s be friends?”
While I was so nervous in sounding desperate, she actually replied back YES. I did it. I made a new friend, online no less. While I probably could have simply continued that conversation and slowly tried to analyze if she actually wanted to talk or not, I decided to bypass that stage altogether. If this is too forward for some people, I’m sorry
Want to make friends? DON'T BE SHY #letsbefriends
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Okay, Amanda, is there a point to this?
Actually yeah, there’s a HUGE point to this blog post today. My point is don’t be so scared to reach out and make a connection, whether it be in real life or online. The one problem with making friends as an adult is that we’re too scared to simply start a conversation with some we admire!
1. The other person is a real-life person too
Girl, please, this other person who you may look up to/ have a common interest with is just a person too. And there is a great chance that they are interested in forming relationships too. (And if they aren’t…well that’s really not the friend for you then, huh?)
2. You never know until you try
Just like anything in life, you never know what could come from a conversation until you reach out.
Bloggers want to make blogging friends too! #letsbefriends
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Example 1: Last year, probably within my first month of blogging, I saw that Chelsea, of Inspiration Indulgence was looking for guest posters for her blog while she went on vacation. While I read that guest posting really helps get your name out there, I’m really glad I reached out simply because it led to such an awesome relationship! And bless her soul for even posting my crappy, amateur blog post I clearly didn’t know what I was doing yet.
Example 2: Last summer, I saw a random twitter conversation from Chelsie, of Hey There, Chelsie and Summer, of Coffee with Summer about starting a blogging group on Facebook. I might have interacted with them a few times before and was insanely nervous to ask if I could participate, but you know what? I still reached out. And you know what else? They have become some of my best blogging/real-life friends.
Is making online connections something you are having a struggle with? Or are you nervous to strike up a convo and making friends as an adult?? You got this, girl! Making friends as an adult should never ever be worrisome–it should be fun fun fun! I hope this post gives you the motivation to reach out to someone you’ve been wanting to contact just to ask a simple question.
BTW- This is also an invitation to become my friend too Don’t be shy–drop me a line in the comments and introduce yourself!
Want to connect more? Let’s be Snapchat friends!
This post goes out to all my current blogging besties (who now turned into real-life friends), those I’m still trying to create a relationship with, and those I have yet to meet.
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