Be brave.

This new season will bring the beginning of a new journey for me.

I will be starting an aggressive, alternative cancer treatment.

I keep telling myself to breathe. Just breathe.

I'm going to be fine. I just know it. The side effects and symptoms from this won't be as harsh as traditional treatments. I can still do my job - and I'm going to need it, to help stay positive and inspired, and to keep creating - I'm just taking on a tiny amount of projects for a while. I will have good days, and bad days. My hair won't fall out, and I won't have radiation running through my body, and that is pretty wonderful. The outcome looks very, very positive, and that brings me relief. I have questioned this process countless times over the last week, and I know it's the right thing. I have the best oncologist looking after me, who will be constantly monitoring my levels and my immune system and my progress, and I have holistic doctors (who I've known since I was a kid) who will be there, too. I have a good support system (including many of you kind souls) and lots of prayers positive vibes being sent my way. I am surrounded. I am covered. And I am so humbled by that.

This whole experience has been surreal, overwhelming, and frustrating at times - but I am a fighter. Yeah, it's a severe situation, but it could be worse. It could always be worse. I've got this. I will kick cancer to the curb once and for all. No more wondering or worrying or waiting. I will be rid of it. This will not consume me. Or hold me back. Or hold me down. I know that the God I so fully believe in is up there right now going, "Hey, I've got you. We'll get through this together. I'm right here." I'm holding onto that. I'm holding onto hope and not defeat. One of the meanings of my name is warrior, and I think that's my (super cheesy) word for 2013. Health issues, heartbreak, loss, death, and grief - this year has made me into a warrior, for sure. So I'm embracing it. That is who I am, and I will not let cancer steal my identity, or my joy, or my humor, or my life. I'm not going anywhere.

Still... it's okay to be scared, right? It's normal? I'm just going to release it into the world: I'm confident in this process, but also a little terrified. I've cried, I've felt denial, I've felt anger. And that's okay. I'm writing this, not for sympathy, but for those of you who may be dealing with the same. I am here for you. I know this is heavy and overwhelming. I know the fear and the confusion and the 35 different emotions that you're feeling, all at the same time. It's hard to process. My eyes are filling up with tears just writing this. I know. Let's support each other - I want to hear your story. I am sending you love light good energy lot of prayers. You've got this. I've got this. We're going to make it through these experiences like total badasses.

This is scary, but I am going to be brave.

I just have to take things one day at a time.
Don't worry about tomorrow, only today.

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” - Victor Hugo.