Birchbox June 2014 Review

When I'm at work, I like to have a plan for dinner. I spend part of my day at work getting psyched up for the delicious food I'm going to eat when I get home. Daydreaming about miscellaneous food doesn't work for me, because I will get fixated on something random and I'll be disappointed when dinner rolls around and we're not having pasta/curry/waffles/whatever I've talked myself into craving.

It's the same with Birchboxes. As soon as my box goes up for the month, I check out what I'm getting and start to get excited. That's why it's been so frustrating that Birchbox has switched products on me at the last second for the past couple months!

Here's what I actually got (despite what the Birchbox website led me to believe):

Antica Farmacista Body Wash in Bergamot and Ocean Air (estimated 1 fl oz), estimated retail value $2.50

The lemon-y scent of this body wash is like a high class version of the lemon wipes I use to disinfect my kitchen countertops.

Evologie Stay Clear Cleanser (0.7 fl oz), approximate retail value $4.48

This is a bland cleanser by a brand that I have previously received a bland blemish serum from. I actually thought I had gotten a repeat product before I looked closer. I've already mentioned that I don't like their weird, science-free "patent pending" complex because they don't provide sufficient information to show that it does anything and that I don't like the fact that they don't include the percentage of salicylic acid in the product. This cleanser also touts some alleged antioxidant effects of lycopene, but there simply isn't data showing any topical benefit.

The cleanser feels exactly like every other cleanser on the planet.

The Aloe Source Vitamin C Antioxidant Creme (0.25 fl oz), approximate retail value $10

Given that this is called a Vitamin C cream, the ingredients list for this product is surprisingly lacking in Vitamin C. Sodium Ascorbyl Phosphate shows up, but it's pretty far down on the list. The ingredients have their fair share of "weird", though. 'DNA' and 'RNA' are both listed. What? Whose DNA? This is such a strange addition to the list that I wish I had more information to offer, if only for sheer what-the-fuckery.

The cream itself is pretty stinky, with the odor of an orange-colored Gatorade.

Phyto Phytolisse Ultra-Glossing Finishing Serum (0.16 fl oz), approximate retail value $2.82

I don't have particularly frizzy hair, so I can't give a very good review of this. It did not set my hair on fire when I used it. Frizz control efficacy unknown.

Cynthia Rowley Beauty Creamy Lip Stain in Valentine (0.079 oz), approximate retail value $9.29

Everything else in my box was pretty "meh", but I was definitely excited about this product. The Cynthia Rowley Beauty Line is exclusive to Birchbox. Although I am not an owner of any Cynthia Rowley clothing, I am a hoarder of the Cynthia Rowley Bandaids, which is almost the same thing. I strongly believe that she is good at making pretty things, and polka dot packaging on this lip stain only proves my point.

Despite the name, this product doesn't qualify as a lip stain. At our most generous, we could call this a lacquer. It doesn't stain my lips, though, and it doesn't even really dry.

Valentine is a lovely stawberry-esque pink. It's super wearable and the cute-as-a-button packaging doesn't hurt.

Here's how it looks on my face:

Total Box Value: $29.09

Overall, I feel okay about this box. The Cynthia Rowley lip-ma-bob was by far the standout product, and it did encourage me to try other products from the line. Everything else was really, really boring.

Image source: http://www.geekbinge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Ann_Arrested-Development.jpg
Thank goodness for Birchbox points, which can offset some of the less lovable months.

If you are interested in joining Birchbox, of course, you are always welcome to use my referral link by clicking here.