Gettin’ Lucky

Whenever I get a chance to hang out with girlfriends, inevitably the conversation turns to sex at some point. The most interesting conversations are the ones I observe among the married ladies. Without fail, there is always that lucky gal in the group that has been married for well over 10 years and is getting lucky on the regular.

To watch the incredulous faces on the other married ladies — who then begin to frantically ask one another how often they’re getting it with their partner — is pretty entertaining. They compare and contrast notes and all eyes are pleading with the one married woman having great sex with her husband to give up her secrets. So, I decided to interview one of my lucky friends and her lucky husband to see if we could get some insight on how to keep things alive in the bedroom long after you say your vows.

JENNY: I want each of you to give me three reasons why you think you have such an active sex life.

COLLEEN: First, I would say open communication. We have nothing we hide from one another and everything is fair game. The second would be mutual respect and trust. Trust is key. If that is lacking at all, you can’t give yourself completely to your spouse. Third would be confidence. This comes from the first two. Communication and trust lead to confidence in our bedroom.

MIKE: My first thought is we get dirty with each other. We are open to experiment but with nothing weird, just typical stuff, like watching a pay per view movie or buying her a hot outfit or toys that I know she would like. Second, I would have to say foreplay. It helps her get in the mood and I love doing it. Lastly, I always find the sexy in her, even when she is in her sweatpants and no make up. The woman just turns me on no matter what she does.

JENNY: Colleen, let me ask you this, would you say you want it just as frequently or is he typically more interested? And is there some sort of routine, or is it always spontaneous? Like, do you wake up and just sort of know it’s time for sex?

COLLEEN: Hmmm, I would say it’s always different … never scheduled. If we aren’t going to have the kids around, we both know we’ll be having sex, and it can be super open and free. On regular nights, I would say it is a mutual desire — we both instigate equally, I think. The key is that we are having affectionate/flirty contact all the time, so we both want it. Some people separate it from their daily life and then it’s hard to ‘turn on.’

JENNY: Mike, do you think guys in general prefer morning sex, since most of you guys wake up “happy to see us,” or do you prefer night sex?

MIKE: I’m pretty sure every guy would have sex anytime of the day. When you’re married with kids, you don’t get picky about times.

COLLEEN: Now I have to go shave my legs so we can have sex tonight — all this talk!!

There you have it! Be adventurous, keep flirting, shave your legs and don’t make it all about yourself. Any other secrets from your bedroom that you can share?