CORNER POLITICS · Sep 16, 2021

Everyone Loves An Asshole, Part II

“I’m gonna make you come so hard tonight. And I won’t stop until your cream is all over me”

I managed another smile as the waitress returned. How was I gonna pull this off tonight? She took off her plastic bib and licked her lips in my direction. Her breasts were full of life, struggling to stay hidden in her white cropped top. And then as she proceeded to stand up, her Daisy Dukes could barely hold her power. The camera phones began to light the room once again. Everyone knew that she was special, even if they didn’t know what her occupation was.

I left the bill and tip on the table and proceeded to join my date as we made our retreat.

“Thank you for your patronage, Mr. Ellis. Do you mind if I take a picture with you and your date?”

Ava grinned from ear to ear, throwing her locs out of her face.

“We’d be happy to! C’mon Roman, hold me close babe!”

Now normally, I don’t pause to take pictures with women I’m just fucking. The unnecessary drama of pissing off another team member could be detrimental to the rotation. However, the new album and video were coming out next week. I had sunk every penny I had into this new project and I needed all the attention I could get. So instead of running away, I relaxed and posed for the fan.

“Okay Ava, for you”

Her smile lit up the space as we stood there together like a Marvel super couple. I could see the multiple lights go off. Even though we were in a restaurant, I felt like I was at the Grammys. I asked the owner to tag Ava and I in the photo.

As we made our exit, the paparazzi began their flicker assault. All I wanted to do was get inside my car. Ava, on the other hand, had another idea. My chocolate diva reached into her Fendi bag and pulled out an object that was gold in color. Before long, my date unfolded the item, which, to my surprise, was a cane! My ego was more startled than I was!

“What is this young ass, tall ass, bitch doing with a cane? Did she suddenly have a stroke? Did she fall down while we weren’t watching?”

I stood there in shock as Ava posed for her new fan base. After a few moments, I grab her by the waist and whispered,

“Ava, what in the hell are you doing with that?”

She chuckled to herself as I let her go.

“Don’t you like it? I found it on Amazon”

“But what are you doing with it? Did you injure yourself when you went into the tiny desk bathroom?”

“No silly!”

“But you didn’t start using it until the photographers came”

“I’m making a fashion statement, Roman”

“And you don’t think your butt and breasts poking out are statement enough?”

“I thought of all people, you would like it”

“Do I even want to ask why?”

“You grew up listening to Boyz II Men, right?”


“So that bass singer, he had a cane”

“Yeah, but Mike needed a walking stick, you don’t!”

“Well the Mack carried a cane. Dolomite carried a cane. Why can’t I have one?”

“Because this ain’t the 70s and you are not a blaxploitation character! Besides, it’s just a regular ass cane!”

“I know, right? I wanted the one with the pink handle with white rhinestones, but they were all out”

I shook my head in dismay. This was further evidence why she was number five on the depth chart. For as stunning as my mocha mistress was, she was equally, if not more, strange. While she was the only woman who could last with me physically, she was also the only one that needed to dress up in order to climax. It didn’t matter if it was green body paint, or a Clifford the big red dog costume, she would never allow herself to be truly naked with me. So instead of wasting my time trying to understand Ava’s need for an unnecessary device, I continued my walk to the car without her. Ava followed behind, walking with the cane as if she was truly injured!

“Roman, are you trying to leave me?”

I didn’t answer. I thought that I had left all the foolishness at the office, but it found me anyway. I needed several drinks to get me in the mood to fuck Ava now.

“Roman Ellis! Are you ignoring me?”

When I didn’t respond again, I could hear her folding up her contraption and walking faster to catch up.

“I guess you really don’t like my cane, huh?”

“No, I don’t”

“I was just trying to have a little bit of fun”

“Fun? You don’t see these lowlifes still taking snapshots of us?”

“Well, it’s humorous to me”

“You’re not the one with a project coming out next week, are you? I don’t want to be a fucking meme when I wake up in the morning”

“Damn baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that”

I simply nodded as I waited for the attendant to bring the car around.

“So babe, what car did you drive today? The Rover? The corvette?”


“So you’re not gonna tell me?”


My sugar plum fairy eyes grew to the size of saucers as the white and red Ferrari emerged from the shadows.

“Damn Roman! This is nice! Can I drive it?”

I ignored her request, but that didn’t stop her from asking again.

“Roman, can I drive it?”

“Not tonight babe”

She stood there mystified, crossing her arms in the process. This was the first time I had ever refused her. I knew that Ava was unpredictable and I didn’t want to make a scene. Just when I was about to change my mind, my ego grabbed me by the neck and said

“Man, fuck this bitch! First she got us at this rundown seafood restaurant! Then she acting all goofy and shit, pulling out the geriatric cane? If you don’t get in this car and drive off without her ass!”

As the valet gave me the keys, something clicked. As cool as I always tried to be, I had never stood up to Wonder Woman before. Everything that transpired up to now had been on her terms. From where we ate to how we screwed, she orchestrated everything. That’s probably why she felt so comfortable talking about us having more kids, even though I had expressed otherwise. She figured that she could manipulate me to do whatever she liked. Well that shit was about to end tonight!

“Look Ava, are you gonna get in or what? I got a shoot in the morning”

She paused for a second as if I was speaking a foriegn language. For a second, I thought she was going to take her cane out and walk her happy ass back up the sidewalk. But to my surprise, she unfolded her arms and got in the ride.

As I started toward the Kimpton hotel, Ava made herself comfortable in the leather upholstery. She looked my way and slowly placed her hand on my thigh.

“You think you run me, don’t you? Talking to me any kind of way”

“I see your ass got in the car”

“Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t much of a choice. What I look like riding in an Uber when I can be flossing with my boo?”

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and started taking selfies.

“Ooooooh, the girls are really gonna be mad now! I’m chilling in a Ferrari with the soon to be biggest rapper on the planet!”

“Not a rapper babe. More like a super producer”

“Well Mr. Super Producer, I’m gonna fuck you like a rapper tonight!”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, baby”

“Well if I’m a rapper tonight, I need you to handle this for me”

I unzipped my pants and my nature unfolded freely.

“Couldn’t we wait until we get to the hotel? We’re only a few minutes away”

“I want your lips on me, now”

I didn’t mix my words. There was no hesitation. My ego was now in full command. I placed my hand along the side of her cheek and looked into her eyes.

“Make me come in your mouth”

That’s all the instruction Ava needed to hear.

Written by the Wednesday Gentleman

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