Stay Or Let It Go?
This past Saturday, I decided not to be antisocial and watch the game with some of my fellow Georgia alum. As I was getting cozy with some Southern Comfort, one of my classmates (we’ll call him Landon) comes up to me gawking at his phone . . . . . .
“Bruh?! Bruh?!! Have you seen all the young tenders in this group?”
I took a glance at the picture he was drooling over. The young lady was very easy on the eyes (no doubt), but I knew there was more to this inquiry. You see, Landon was one of those guys that wasn’t satisfied with making a point and moving on. NAH! He has to go on and on about the subject! And I get it. Landon’s an assistant principal at a local middle school. In addition to those duties, Landon finally settled down and married his baby momma three years ago. When he married Candice, he also married the two other children she had prior to them hooking up. So you can imagine when Landon is able socialize with other adults outside of school, he’s animated and talkative. With the fellas, he didn’t have to worry about discussing lesson plans or watching shows with housewives in the title. However, brother was a little too giddy with this new found group he was now apart of. . . .
“Dock, I’m surprised you’re not apart of this group! Man the women are plentiful!”
“Landon, I am a member, but I’m not going down that rabbit hole. And with you being married, you shouldn’t be either”
“So what are you trying to say?”
“Landon, you’re a married man. If you want to continue to have a happy marriage, don’t go looking for trouble. You don’t want those problems”
“But they’re coming for me man! I didn’t even ask to be in the group! Now look at all these females in my inbox sending me cleavage and titty pics?! You know how I love those tig ol’ bitties!”
“My man, I feel you. I like looking at curvaceous thickness too! But tell me this fam? What makes this particular group different from any of the others? To me, it’s just another dating website on steroids!”
“Really Dock? Really?”
“Look man. It’s been over seven years since my divorce and nearly three since my last, serious relationship. I’ve been on quite a few dating sites and they’re all the same. You have so many options until all the women start looking alike”
“All titties don’t look the same Dock! Why you trying to kill my joy? You finally found a woman or something?”
“Not hating or trying to kill your joy, Landon. If I can be real with you, I’m looking for what you and Candice have. Compatibility. Friendship. Love. Your lady works and is attentive to the needs of you and your kids. Can’t find that with women posting half dressed, two year old photos just to get your attention. But the bigger question is, why are you even entertaining the women in your DM? What if your woman found out?”
Landon looked at me rather disturbed.
“Damn Dock! I thought out of all people, you wouldn’t be so fuckin’ self-righteous!”
My friend walked away a little disgruntled, but I continued to enjoy myself. Landon should know by now that if he asks my opinion, I’m gonna give it honestly. Besides, I was here for the game (and the open bar . . . . ).
Just when Georgia was beginning to exert their dominance in the first half, I noticed that Landon was absent from the festivities.
“He’s probably in the bathroom or something . . . .”
At least that’s what I told myself. However, as the second quarter came to a close, there was still no sign of Landon. I got up to look for my missing friend. I navigated my way to the patio and off in the distance near the gazebo, was Landon. I walked over to him and it seemed as if he had been . . . crying . . . .
“What’s wrong man? You’re missing a good game! Georgia has a legit defense!”
Landon just stood there, staring at the stars, trying to collect his thoughts. Then, in a very monotone voice, he uttered . . . . .
“Candy’s cheating on me man . . . . .”
I stood there and asked him that all important question . . . .
“Her ex . . . Anthony”
“Damn man! I’m sorry to hear that! Did you just find out?”
“Yeah. A mutual friend of ours saw that he was posting naked pictures of her in another group for all to see. He took a screenshot of the photos and sent them to me a little while ago”
“You sure those pics are of Candice? I mean . . .”
“Dock, it’s her. Her face was in one of the photos”
“What are you gonna do Landon? Are you going to confront the dude and ask him to stop posting the pics?”
“I already have. That’s why I came out here”
“And what about Candice?”
“What about her? Shit, if she thinks it’s cool to cheat, then I’m going to run through these women in my inbox!”
“You sure you wanna do that? Nothing good comes out of revenge fucking! It’s like cocaine. The first hit is a high you want to last forever. Then you’re trying to chase that high again with all the other women, but you never reach it”
“When we were in college, you didn’t seem to have a problem running through different women!”
“Man, that was college! Shit wasn’t right then either! I just didn’t know it! I tried that same bullshit philosophy at the end of my marriage. At the end, I was left with myself and the wounds incurred from a failed relationship”
“Dock man . . . . this here! Why did she have to go fuck another nigga? I provide for her and the kids! I’m working so she can have the things that she wants! And she has the nerve to cheat on me?!”
I could see Landon was in that forbidden place where hurt meets outrage. His eyes told me that he was at war with himself. On one hand, he wanted to know the why. Why did Candice cheat on him? Why did she betray their vows? And why, oh why, did he not see it coming? Then there was the other hand where he wanted to unleash his wrath, exacting vengeance on Candice in the worst way! Landon wanted her to feel the same emotional torment that he was experiencing right now.
We stood there in silence as the third quarter began to start. I couldn’t find the correct phrase or cliche to help my old buddy get past this. Even though I’ve experienced infidelity, I couldn’t draw on any particular thing (outside of time) that helped eased the pain. During that storm, no scripture or kind gesture could comfort me. Instead of confronting my spouse about discovering her online dating profile, I decided to get back at her by sleeping with all the ladies who wanted me. Any woman I denied before was now fair game. And I didn’t care who saw me doing my dirt! I was bold with it! However, my children had to hear about their dad being “out there” at my estranged wife’s family functions, which tore them to pieces. Took me some time to change and build my character back up to where it was before my descent. Took me a long time . . . .
“Landon, if you need me to go with you to your house to collect some things, we can do that. I think taking some time to breathe would be good for you”
“Nah . . . I’ll be fine when I get home. I’m just going to let her think that her secret is safe. Then I’m going to send her pictures of me digging into the guts of other women!”
“Bruh, don’t do that! That’s not a good move!”
“And why not? It was good for her!”
“Because you have kids man! I can see you now, knocking down all the teachers and single moms you work with. Nobody would be safe! You talk about a scandal! You’d be the first principal around here fired for a multiple sex scandal! Then what? Your kids find out? Children make fun of them? You’d be a disgrace in the community all because you let hurt override your good judgement? Take some time to breathe if you’re not going to talk to her”
Landon shook his head as he began to head back inside. He thanked our host before he departed out the front door. I followed him to his car.
“Dock, I said I’m going to be alright! This ain’t one of your damn Facebook stories!”
“I hope not, Landon. I’m going to call you later”
I walked back to the house trying to get my despondent brother’s situation out of my mind. I kept thinking the worse. Hopefully Landon will call me. . . . .
If you were Landon how would you confront your spouse who you found out was cheating? As Landon’s friend, did I handle the situation the right way? Should I have called Candice to warn her of Landon’s frame of mind, or was I right to stay in my lane?
Written by the Wednesday Gentleman