Good Men Are Only Sex Addicts To Their Wives
the face of a man who would never claim "sex addiction" ... to anyone but me of course.
As I was browsing my daily news site for enthralling inspiring uplifting and encouraging headlines (ha) I came across a story on Tiger Woods. Poor guy just recently got dumped by his girlfriend for none other than - wait for it - cheating on her with multiple women.
Haven't we heard this story before? Oh yes, just a few years back when Tiger admitted cheating on his then-wife Elin with multiple and he means multiple women. He was sorry, he felt kinda bad, he probably wished his wife wouldn't have left him and I'm sure he would have preferred it if she didn't take half his millions but then he dropped the big bombshell...
It so wasn't his fault! He had an addiction people! A real live authentic but totally made up and laughable addiction that only the weak, feeble and flat pathetic people claim to have. He was a sex addict. Gasp! He couldn't help getting undressed and naked and flinging off lots of different women's panties and then it was all he could do to resist the charm and seduction of the female allurement until finally he gave in and let's be honest here probably had multiple orgasms because he just. couldn't. help. it.
Let's not fail to mention that all these women he couldn't resist screwing were all considered "beautiful" in today's society. Hmm. I thought addiction didn't discriminate. Where all the ugly ones at Tiger? Oh, you weren't "addicted" to them, I see.
Why bring this all up now? I mean, this is old news. Everyone knows by now that after Elin found out about Tiger's indiscretions (with only pretty people), she chased him down the road by foot and caused him to crash his Escalade into a tree and then proceeded to beat him with a golf club. (Also see; irony.)
The reason I bring it up now is because of the aforemetioned news site I was reading and the new current story on there of Tiger cheating. Turns out, his and Lindsey's "hectic schedule" wasn't the reason for their demise. No, he had "relapsed" into his "addiction." His sex addiction. Because two gorgeous blonde girls aren't enough.
But it was the comments on there from Tiger's "close friend" that had me going. Laughing in my chair like we were at a swingers convention. You have to believe me when I tell you what his "close friend" said. You have to believe me and know that I would never lie to you, and this is real, true journalism stuff with actual, accurate quotes. Ok you ready?
Tiger's "close friend" had this to say about the break-up scandal (and also referred to his recent elimination in the Farmer's Insurance Classic golf tournament in February):
"He had a relapse in the sex department. He withdrew from Farmer's. You have to understand, while it's not right, it's not really wrong either. Tiger isn't married. He doesn't really drink or do drugs. So what else does he have when he can't afford to lose again? He's allowed to find some relief. Most men would drink over such losses, Tiger has sex over it. Yes, Tiger cheated again. But it wasn't with anyone special. He really wanted Lindsey to be the one. But he blew it again. He can't help himself. He's got an addiction. He relapsed."
All together now...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Good one.
(Might I just add, that when the "close friend" mentions that Tiger "wasn't married" as if that has any relevance to cheating on your partner, he was married the first time it happened. So, what's your point again?)
Look. This isn't really news. That people claim to have sex addiction and that idiots actually fall for it and defend it is as old as the day is long. It's normal, it's asinine, it's socially acceptable. There are facilities set up all over the country for people to go and pay exorbitant amounts of money just to be "cured" of wanting multiple warm places to put it.
It's flat ridiculous. And let's be REAL honest for a moment, shall we?
In reality, we could all claim "sex addiction." It's human nature. To want to be with someone in a physical way that we have a connection with and to feel all the warm and fuzzies is totally normal human tendencies. That isn't exclusive just to someone like Tiger Woods. No, that is what we all feel, it's how we are made. Every single one of us.
The difference however? The difference is that for moral, respectable, decent and honorable people, cheating is a choice, one thousand percent a choice. It's a choice that anyone on this planet - your next door neighbor, the mailman, even Tiger Woods - makes voluntarily. We all have the same temptations, that newness and excitement of being with someone we just met is the same for everyone. And we could all very well fall prey to that temptation and cry but...but...sex addition!
But we don't. You know who does? The weak ones. The immoral ones. The untrustworthy ones. The dishonest ones. The conniving, sneaky, two-timing, trustless, gutless jackasses. Sex addiction is not a disease. It's an excuse - a pretty pathetic one at that - made up for guys just like Tiger Woods to use.
Yeah, being married for ten years, sometimes it can get a little boring, a little rudimentary. Day to day things get in the way and that excitement and newness of those first few encounters with each other can seem far, far away. You have responsibilities and baseball practices to be at and kids to feed and bills to pay. You have meetings to catch and you have a lot of things that have to be done that aren't necessarily the definition of "fun." And that's the truth. But you know what else you have? You have respect. You have trust. You have security. You have a lifetime partner-in-crime who will always have your back no matter what because they have proven themselves to you that they are worthy. You have someone that drops everything and spends every second with you in the hospital when you are hurt. You can have your newness and so-called "excitement" with lots of new, exciting people.
I'll just be over here with a man who has never and would never betray me. A man who wouldn't think twice about laying his life down to save mine. A man who would stop at nothing to protect the safety of me and my children. A man who thinks I'm enough for him.
And that's pretty damn exciting to me.
As I was browsing my daily news site for enthralling inspiring uplifting and encouraging headlines (ha) I came across a story on Tiger Woods. Poor guy just recently got dumped by his girlfriend for none other than - wait for it - cheating on her with multiple women.
Haven't we heard this story before? Oh yes, just a few years back when Tiger admitted cheating on his then-wife Elin with multiple and he means multiple women. He was sorry, he felt kinda bad, he probably wished his wife wouldn't have left him and I'm sure he would have preferred it if she didn't take half his millions but then he dropped the big bombshell...
It so wasn't his fault! He had an addiction people! A real live authentic but totally made up and laughable addiction that only the weak, feeble and flat pathetic people claim to have. He was a sex addict. Gasp! He couldn't help getting undressed and naked and flinging off lots of different women's panties and then it was all he could do to resist the charm and seduction of the female allurement until finally he gave in and let's be honest here probably had multiple orgasms because he just. couldn't. help. it.
Let's not fail to mention that all these women he couldn't resist screwing were all considered "beautiful" in today's society. Hmm. I thought addiction didn't discriminate. Where all the ugly ones at Tiger? Oh, you weren't "addicted" to them, I see.
Why bring this all up now? I mean, this is old news. Everyone knows by now that after Elin found out about Tiger's indiscretions (with only pretty people), she chased him down the road by foot and caused him to crash his Escalade into a tree and then proceeded to beat him with a golf club. (Also see; irony.)
The reason I bring it up now is because of the aforemetioned news site I was reading and the new current story on there of Tiger cheating. Turns out, his and Lindsey's "hectic schedule" wasn't the reason for their demise. No, he had "relapsed" into his "addiction." His sex addiction. Because two gorgeous blonde girls aren't enough.
But it was the comments on there from Tiger's "close friend" that had me going. Laughing in my chair like we were at a swingers convention. You have to believe me when I tell you what his "close friend" said. You have to believe me and know that I would never lie to you, and this is real, true journalism stuff with actual, accurate quotes. Ok you ready?
Tiger's "close friend" had this to say about the break-up scandal (and also referred to his recent elimination in the Farmer's Insurance Classic golf tournament in February):
"He had a relapse in the sex department. He withdrew from Farmer's. You have to understand, while it's not right, it's not really wrong either. Tiger isn't married. He doesn't really drink or do drugs. So what else does he have when he can't afford to lose again? He's allowed to find some relief. Most men would drink over such losses, Tiger has sex over it. Yes, Tiger cheated again. But it wasn't with anyone special. He really wanted Lindsey to be the one. But he blew it again. He can't help himself. He's got an addiction. He relapsed."
All together now...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Good one.
(Might I just add, that when the "close friend" mentions that Tiger "wasn't married" as if that has any relevance to cheating on your partner, he was married the first time it happened. So, what's your point again?)
Look. This isn't really news. That people claim to have sex addiction and that idiots actually fall for it and defend it is as old as the day is long. It's normal, it's asinine, it's socially acceptable. There are facilities set up all over the country for people to go and pay exorbitant amounts of money just to be "cured" of wanting multiple warm places to put it.
It's flat ridiculous. And let's be REAL honest for a moment, shall we?
In reality, we could all claim "sex addiction." It's human nature. To want to be with someone in a physical way that we have a connection with and to feel all the warm and fuzzies is totally normal human tendencies. That isn't exclusive just to someone like Tiger Woods. No, that is what we all feel, it's how we are made. Every single one of us.
The difference however? The difference is that for moral, respectable, decent and honorable people, cheating is a choice, one thousand percent a choice. It's a choice that anyone on this planet - your next door neighbor, the mailman, even Tiger Woods - makes voluntarily. We all have the same temptations, that newness and excitement of being with someone we just met is the same for everyone. And we could all very well fall prey to that temptation and cry but...but...sex addition!
But we don't. You know who does? The weak ones. The immoral ones. The untrustworthy ones. The dishonest ones. The conniving, sneaky, two-timing, trustless, gutless jackasses. Sex addiction is not a disease. It's an excuse - a pretty pathetic one at that - made up for guys just like Tiger Woods to use.
Yeah, being married for ten years, sometimes it can get a little boring, a little rudimentary. Day to day things get in the way and that excitement and newness of those first few encounters with each other can seem far, far away. You have responsibilities and baseball practices to be at and kids to feed and bills to pay. You have meetings to catch and you have a lot of things that have to be done that aren't necessarily the definition of "fun." And that's the truth. But you know what else you have? You have respect. You have trust. You have security. You have a lifetime partner-in-crime who will always have your back no matter what because they have proven themselves to you that they are worthy. You have someone that drops everything and spends every second with you in the hospital when you are hurt. You can have your newness and so-called "excitement" with lots of new, exciting people.
I'll just be over here with a man who has never and would never betray me. A man who wouldn't think twice about laying his life down to save mine. A man who would stop at nothing to protect the safety of me and my children. A man who thinks I'm enough for him.
And that's pretty damn exciting to me.
More posts from
