Effy Wild

Break Up With Perfect

One of the more frustrating things about being an art journal teacher is that, unlike when I'm in student mode, I can't just faff around for hours and hours with a spread until it meets my standards. I have to get it done. In my private practice, there are no rules and no time limits, but when it comes to teaching, I have deadlines. I have people waiting for the thing to be finished and uploaded.

This 'need for done', however, is also one of the most rewarding things about being an art journal teacher. Let me explain!

Before I began teaching, I suffered from a really bad case of perfectionism. It was so bad, in fact, that I rarely actually finished anything because if it wasn't perfect, I wasn't happy, and we all know that perfect is impossible. Perfect is one of those sledgehammers we use to bludgeon ourselves with. It is a thief of play and joy and fun.

Learning how to not just live with 'done' but celebrate 'done' has been a huge boon.

Here's what celebrating 'done' looks like in my world.

I did this spread this week for BOD

You will notice that the word "Boundaries" is totally misspelled. As I was recording this lesson, I had a moment when I was pretty sure I wasn't going to spell it right (I'm nothing without spell-check), but I pushed on because - say it with me - I had to get it done, and done is better than perfect!

Despite the oopsie, I love this spread. There are little tiny areas of soul-delighting goodness in it like this one:

That little birdie makes me ridiculously happy, as does the tiny little indications of wood grain. For scale, that birdie is about the size of the tip of my pinky finger. Teensy tiny. And absolutely delightful.

I could bludgeon myself over the fact that I spelled 'boundaries' wrong, or I can delight in having gotten in done.

Guess which one I'm choosing?

Yummo!

Done is better than perfect because done is DONE. Done makes room for the next thing. Which means that instead of spending days and weeks obsessing over getting something JUST SO, I get to have the experience of ticking many DONE things off my list. Each done thing results in a mini celebration! Perfect things just feel like overbearing things hanging over my head waiting to some day finally be perfect.

I'm always going to choose done. Always.

***

Today, I went looking for the origins of the quote "Done is better than perfect" because I don't like having unattributed quotes in my arsenal of quotes. I haven't yet tracked it down, but in my search, I found this awesome article and this new quote:

Done is the engine of more.

RAWR!

Do you feel that? Does that not just ring all your bells?

Done leaves room for the next thing. It creates space for more. It is full of possibilities.

If I could offer a creative person any advice, it would be this:
Break up with perfect. Make sweet love to done.

***

In Other News

Since last we typed, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety of the variety that can be helped with meds. I've been resisting meds for many, many years. I am a suck it up, buttercup kind of girl. I am a 'journaling fixes everything' fan. I have spent a very long time handling depression and anxiety holistically with walks and therapy and attempts at self-care. I wanted to be PERFECT at handling it. I wanted to be brave and strong and walk tall. I would never tell a diabetic not to take insulin, but I told myself all the time that taking medication for depression would be a failure somehow. Every time a doctor recommends anti-depressants, I balk. I don't want to be altered.

My doctor said something to me, though, that totally brought me on board:

"What if depression is altering you? What if, with the anti-depressants, you get to be who you actually are and feel like yourself again? What if you didn't have to try so hard to feel better all the time? What if you could thrive instead of merely getting through it?"

Whoa.

So, I started a course of Wellbutrin XL, and we'll see how it goes. Right now, obviously, I'm transitioning onto a drug that messes with my brain chemistry so I feel pretty much like ass, but I was feeling pretty much like ass BEFORE I started the meds, so I'm not going to complain. It will pass. I will even out, and what I'm hoping is that I will find things like eating before noon less of a battle and more of a thing I just do. I will find leaving the house less of a trial fraught with anxiety and more of a pleasure. I will find work less of an escape (because oh, yes. I use it as an escape) and more of a balanced and joyful part of my life.

I'll keep you posted.

But P.S. - Please don't comment on my choice to be medicated unless you are commenting in support of my choice. I am not interested in hearing your horror stories about being on meds or friends on meds or Big Pharma or how toxic meds are. I am a grown up and I made a grown up decision. Please respect that.

Thank you.

More news...

Manfingy's dad is in hospital in India awaiting bypass surgery (late tonight/early tomorrow morning). Your thoughts and good wishes and reiki and prayers would not go astray. xo

xo

Effy


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