Unlikely Inspiration: Queer Eye

Before writing posts like this, I always have a moment of hesitation. First, I'm afraid you're going to see the hot mess that I am sometimes. Second, when I share something like this, I feel like I'm whining. Third, I'm afraid that this type of post will come across as attention seeking. For that reason, some posts like this have never made it beyond my own computer.

What does give me the courage to push the publish button this time is the hope that this post (and others like it) may help or inspire at least one person. I also think that posts of this type are important to give you some perspective on the reality of my life. Now more than ever, blogs have become places of "perfection" or articles that have been created to "perform well with Google." While those things are important on the business side of things, they're not the reason for Inspired by Charm. The foundation of this blog is me, so it will forever have heart regardless of any new algorithm.

With all that being said, you know I've been on and off the "struggle bus" for quite a few years. As I mentioned recently, this time of year is particularly challenging. I partially blame this horribly cold and snowy winter. And while I had a great couple of weeks at the end of January, the first two weeks of February haven't been the best. I wish I had some rational explanation, but I've yet to find it.

I'm not sure if you've heard that the show

Queer Eye is back. You might remember it from the 2000s (Back then it was known as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.) When the original show aired, I was in college, and I was a HUGE fan. (In fact, I was just reminiscing with some college friends about our trip to New York City where we happened to run into Carson Kressley on the street. We even snapped a photo with him. I'm trying to track it down and will post it below if it turns up.)

When I heard about the reboot, I was initially turned off. I had such fond memories of the original show and cast, I had zero hope the new version would be any good. Others on social media also expressed concern. However, once the show finally aired, I noticed lots of praise and many people eating their negative predictions

Last night, I was feeling particularly down. I'm not sure why, but I felt this need to sit down and watch an episode of Queer Eye. Three hours and four episodes later, I was both hooked and inspired.

I think a lot of my melancholy can be traced to social media and my low self-confidence. Watching the show and hearing the same intro song "

All things just keeping better ... You came into my life and my world never seemed so bright..." stirred up memories from the past. It reminded me of a time when creatively I didn't care what other people thought. Even when Inspired by Charm began (which was several years after the first Queer Eye), I was just excited to share, and wasn't terribly concerned about the quality of my posts or what others would think about my content. Lately, I can't even buy a lamp without worrying that someone else might not like it. That fear has sucked the joy out of the whole process.

Watching the show also reminded me how much I love and miss all the creative aspects of life. I've all but stopped experimenting with different foods, design ideas, and even fashion choices. Just a few years ago those things lit a fire deep in my core. In fact, I didn't realize it, but for the past several months, I have worn nearly the same outfit every day: jeans and a t-shirt with a hoodie. That's it. Meanwhile, I remember back in college I would be fearless in trying new clothes. I wasn't worried about what anyone thought.

I'm not saying I'm miserable and sad all the time. I certainly have many joy-filled moments. However, for a couple years now, my general disposition has been one of fear and sadness. And boy does that stink. Lately, I've been feeling that somehow my skill and talent have been used up or somehow sucked out of me. As I sat watching the show with tears rolling down my face (If you watch, I'm certain you'll shed a few, too.), I realized that the skill, talent, and enthusiasm are still there. They're just buried under layers of fear and self-doubt.

At midnight, after my mini binge-watch of the show, I crawled into bed. After spending most of the day feeling exhausted and hopeless, I laid awake, filled with positivity. As ideas rushed into my head, I considered getting out of bed to work or write down my thoughts. But sleep crept in, and I was out.

While that high has slightly faded with the new day, I'm still feeling a lingering sense of hope and possibility. In fact, this morning I pulled out a new outfit and avoided social media as much as possible. Plus, I have four more episodes of Queer Eye to watch should the feeling start to wane. Part of me wants to make grand proclamations in this post, but I'm going to resist the urge. Not only do I still need time and space to think, but I've found that grand proclamations often overwhelm me and lead to disappointment when I don't reach them as planned.

One other thing that watching the show reminded me of is that I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Not only did I make assumptions about the show based on what I was seeing on social media, I also made assumptions about the new cast. I was quick to judge them on their look, style, and mannerisms.

However, after just one episode, I found myself loving each one of them for who they are. Their uniqueness and talents are what make them special, lovable, and enjoyable to watch. I subconsciously made judgments (presumably from my own lack of confidence) about this one's hair, that one's enthusiasm, and another one's style. After watching I realized they are perfectly imperfect as we all are. It was a punch-in-the-face reminder to stop judging based on outward appearance and to practice kindness toward others and myself.

While you probably won't have the same response to the show that I did, I highly recommend you watch it. Not only is it entertaining, but it offers great advice on food, fashion, entertaining, and more! I also hope you gained a little insight from my unlikely inspiration.

Here's to one step forward. And, as the song goes, "All things just keep getting better!"

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