an open letter to the property brothers

You all know that I’m HGTV obsessed. It’s basically the only channel number that I know. And I think I’ve seen every episode of every show. One of my faves is Property Brothers. I’ve watched it so much that I have conversations with myself (and with other humans too) about questions I have about the show. Jonathan and Drew – if you’re reading this, answer my questions!

Why are the buyers always so shocked that they “need to look at a fixer upper”? Have they never seen the show?

Are people actually surprised when the dream home they are shown at the beginning is a million dollars over their budget?

How does everyone have a budget of, like, $765,000? And they’re, like, 26 years old. I’m, like, totally confused.

What would happen if a house wasn’t open concept? Would the buyers just completely lose their children?

Why is everyone so obsessed with granite?

Why do the buyers (who signed up for the show) suddenly not trust the professional designer? We all know Jonathan has got this shit. Let him do his thing!

How do these closings go so smoothly? Everyone gets the house they want for pretty much the price they want.

Why are buyers surprised when a 90 year old house has old wiring? Duh.

Why won’t you come to Pennsylvania and let me be on your show?

And the biggest question of all: What the hell is going on with the rest of the house we don’t see? Are the other rooms just left in an unfinished state? Or do they just clean up those rooms and not decorate? Why can’t I see them? I need to know!!

I can’t be the only one who has these questions, right? What burning questions would you ask the Property Brothers? Or does anyone know them and can forward my letter? K thanks.

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