flip flops and little coffee talks...

I've been flip flopping an awful lot lately. Wondering a bit about this little space here... Questioning that bigger meaning out there... All the while grasping at those little bits too easily lost in the spaces in between. And I was thinking maybe, you and I, we could have one of our little talks over coffee?...

If we met for coffee, here today in this Starbucks in Queen Kaahumanu Center, we'd kiss our hellos, island style, and likely gaze through these floor to ceiling panes of glass that, in this fading sunlight, reflect ourselves looking out as much as they allow us to peek lazily at the passersby. I see you there. Can you see me here?...
Charlie came home the other day for lunch, it's a luxury that Maui affords us, it's one of the dearest reasons we are here. Time. Sweet sweet time. What will we ever do when the commute is once again anything more than three maybe four minutes? And as soon as he walked in, that poor sweet Charlie, I flipped when really I had no intention of even just the itty bittiest of flops. And before I knew it I was crying big fat sloppy tears right into our impromptu lunch. And I love my children... drop. And I love my life... drop, drop, drop. Oh our poor beautiful lunch. Turkey and spinach wraps served with a thick spread of fresh pesto and a side of whine. But I needed that cry as much as Charlie needed to see it, that softening, that needing of him, that "everything is sometimes not so very okay and that's okay" moment, you know? It was a good for nothing sort of cry, and somehow it was everything, laid out there before the altar of our marriage. And that Charlie, he folded me into his arms and asked me just what I needed, you know, to be happy.
And you know, if I knew, well...
Have you ever felt that way? Like, as if, you've walked into a well stocked grocery store of a life with aisle upon aisle of shelves filled with anything you could possibly want and you, all the while, armed with the knowledge that you can have whatever you might need if you could just remember what that was exactly. If you only knew.
Remind me what we're looking for here, would ya?
And what if we just started aimlessly down each aisle counting every blessing on the shelf, pulling them down, holding them in our two hands, reading the ingredients listed there, things like "pure joy" and "one hundred percent natural kindness" and "organically grown love" and such? I suspect it wouldn't take long before we'd find that hole filled to overflowing. Or, at the very least, we'd happen upon a suitable substitute of some kind. And we could, you know, get on with cooking up this beautiful sort of life we're making here.
But enough about me and this strangely beautiful time in our lives here. How are you? And, also, what is up with that girl outside the glass there with the bedazzled tiara on her head and the cutoff shorts, and the slippers? What a curiously wonderful world. I'm so very glad we're in it together, you know?

Be well. live sweet, n
A theme song, of sorts, for these days here.