There’s Something on My Face

I have all the correct features to equal a face

Two eyes, a nose, and a mouth

Not to mention eyebrows that are not really the works of art which modern culture insists they should be

(What’s a tweezer?)

Nonetheless

It all adds up to a face

Not an exceptionally symmetrical face

But a face I’m happy enough to live with

Mostly

Sort of

Except

On this face, on the lower right cheek

There are two

vertically aligned

“beauty marks”

And of these hideous, unsightly, distractions

one may spontaneously sprout a single hair

Often discovered to my horror

in the worst possible moment

Involving important or cool people

These two wretched moles

Corrupting what should be a basic ordinary delightfully boring human face

Despicably brown, circular, and slightly raised

they are often cause for a brunch date to inquire

“Do you have something on your face?”

And since I have mentally blocked out their existence

(Self-preservation no doubt)

I then proceed to intensely wipe my entire face

Until the white cloth napkin is caked in eye shadow and also cake

I guess I really did have something on my face