All the Things
But as I stumble and trip over all these things in my mind, I am also stumbling over all the things that we do have in our life quite literally. The things that we have accrued over the years which find themselves strewn all over our house. Which seems quite large, but never large enough for all these darn things we keep acquiring.
I’d like to say we live a simple life, but I’d be a liar. I have never been good at editing down the things that we have and while I feel like I am in a never ending cycle of giving things to charity to streamline the closets that seem to be overflowing, there somehow always seems to be more things around the corner. More clothes. More toys. More shit we just don’t need.
And now Christmas is here and my kids think they have been really good all year (which is an entirely different blog post altogether) and are expecting, you guessed it. More and more THINGS.
And while I want my children to be excited about the holiday and while I want them to run down the stairs with excitement and anticipation in every little step as they run towards the tree on Christmas morning, I want them to be less focused on the things. The new things. The shiny things. All the carefully wrapped things.
But how can I expect that from them, when all I’ve ever done is give them more and more things? They have never wanted for anything that I can really think of. Closets full of clothes, toy chests that are never empty, bookshelves that are overflowing with beautiful words. They have been fortunate in this life to never come face to face with the true meaning of “need”. Instead, they are children who mistakenly believe that “want” and “need” are the same things. I have allowed that. My husband and I have given them a life so far removed from the life that I lived as a child and one that’s planets away from the hard lives our parents faced before us.
They are children of privilege. They are children who know, have and expect things. I can explain to them that the holidays are not about receiving things but about giving things, but they are 5 and 7 and I fear that while they will nod along like they understand, they probably won’t understand all that well if they don’t find more of the things they are expecting underneath the tree.
A part of me wants to explain to them that Santa isn’t going to be there for every child, whether that child has been naughty or nice. I want to explain that “Santa” isn’t a part of the vocabulary of many of the children in this world, regardless of their faith. That for these children, there is no special day where their innocence and grace and virtue is acknowledged by presents and coveted things.
I want to explain this to them, but another part of me struggles with how to explain this to them. How do you explain that while my daughter is up on her bed the night before Christmas, sleeping lightly because of the anticipation of all the new toys and treats that await her when she wakes, that other children around the world are praying for the next meal? Praying for water or clothes or the love of a lost parent? Maybe just plain survival?
The things we really need.
I’m not sure how to get there but this Christmas, I’d like the biggest present that my children receive to be the lesson of grace. I haven’t fully thought out how to deliver that lesson yet, but I think it goes something like this:
Grace is not in the material things we surround ourselves with but resides in the spirits of the people we love and who love us.
Grace is not in the receiving, but in the giving.
Grace in giving comes with giving freely, without needing acknowledgement.
Grace can come in the smallest and most unexpected packages.
Grace may not always be something you can touch, but if your mind and heart are open, it is something you can always feel.
Grace might not be in the addition of things to your life, but in the act of recognizing the many gifts you already have in your life.
I have a lot of lesson planning to do before I get this right this year. Friends, are any of you struggling with how to send the right message to your children this holiday? Is anyone interested in helping me plan what this lesson truly looks like? Because I really think I could use some help with this right about now.
Namaste,
Kiran
