Chapter 3: Footprints On My Ceiling
It has been several months since I have written about our love story. For one, a lot has happen between now and November, I mean we moved, but also I have avoided this chapter of the saga as it is the most painful. Chapter 3 addresses the lowest point in our relationship, and I have seriously considered skipping it all together. But I promised you a romance novel and by golly you must read about conflict to get to the happy ending! So here we go...
Our summer romance was heavenly and includes some of my most cherished memories to this day. Erik and I returned to high school that fall and remained a couple for 3 semesters and 2 summers (practically a lifetime in high school years.) We shared a locker, he walked me to class, we parked our cars side by side, supported one another at sporting events, attended dances as a couple, shared many firsts, and ultimately experienced what it means to be young and in love. But in 2006 Erik was nearing graduation and I could feel him pull away.
Erik was my first serious boyfriend so many signs of his discontentment in our relationship flew past me. Yet right after Christmas '05 I felt his distance and it was terrifying. We began to argue, I clung, he pulled away. That New Years Eve I made the decision to spend it separately to prove I had my own plans and friends and wasn't as needy as I was seeming to be. Mistake. We had promised to be each others first conversation as 2006 entered our lives, but alas midnight struck and no phone call came. Perhaps I was supposed to call him? So I put pride aside and dialed his number, 717.... and nothing. I called again, still voicemail. I felt a knot in my stomach and nausea in my throat. But I was naive and although my body told me something was wrong, I convinced myself everything was OK.
When we hung out the next day and I could see that my Erik was different. Overly nice, but still in his own world. I never thought another girl was involved, maybe he drank too much? I was basically a prude so he would have been ashamed to tell me if he was drunk, this was likely the issue at hand. We returned to school and had 2 classes together but instead I felt we were further apart. We now argued a lot, and that young love ecstasy was dwindling. We pushed each other to the point of separation one week before my birthday. He pulled away for good and my heart had truly been broken. I cried for 24 hours, in fact I sobbed. I had never experienced such sadness in my life, all I wanted was for him to hug me but he was gone.
Back on campus I struggled to partake in my regular extra curricular activities. I recall my soccer coach encouraging to take some of that anger out on the field, but I just felt deflated. My fellow cheerleaders wanted retribution, but I wanted him. I think Erik missed me too as I saw him smile at me in the hallway often. He eventually approached me and asked to take me to see The Lion King on Broadway for my birthday as we had originally planned. I was nervous, but I missed him so much that against my better judgement and loved one's input I agreed to go.
Friday came and Erik's white '86 Suburban pulled up in front of my parent's house. I dressed my best, wore a push up braw and heavy eyeliner, because obviously this was my best look, and stepped out the front door. Our ride was quiet but neither of us could hold back from smiling, we really did love and miss each other. The date went well, but with minimal affection. As the night came to a close he parked in front of my house once more and walked me to the door. There we kissed with so much passion I felt as though I was starring in my own romance film. I thought, "this is it, we are together! I love him and he loves me and that's all we need." But then he pulled away and drove home. Nothing had changed, that was until Monday.
We were sitting in our last class of the day together when I got a phone call from my best friend who attended a neighboring high school. Luckily I had good grades so my teacher allowed me to excuse myself and speak with her quickly. She told me that she needed to talk to Erik immediately. And then I knew. Erik got on the phone and then looked at me dead faced. That knot came back, and I wanted to throw up. The words of another girl escaped his mouth but my body tingled, my head went dizzy and my ears numb. We were over, forever.
Our summer romance was heavenly and includes some of my most cherished memories to this day. Erik and I returned to high school that fall and remained a couple for 3 semesters and 2 summers (practically a lifetime in high school years.) We shared a locker, he walked me to class, we parked our cars side by side, supported one another at sporting events, attended dances as a couple, shared many firsts, and ultimately experienced what it means to be young and in love. But in 2006 Erik was nearing graduation and I could feel him pull away.
Erik was my first serious boyfriend so many signs of his discontentment in our relationship flew past me. Yet right after Christmas '05 I felt his distance and it was terrifying. We began to argue, I clung, he pulled away. That New Years Eve I made the decision to spend it separately to prove I had my own plans and friends and wasn't as needy as I was seeming to be. Mistake. We had promised to be each others first conversation as 2006 entered our lives, but alas midnight struck and no phone call came. Perhaps I was supposed to call him? So I put pride aside and dialed his number, 717.... and nothing. I called again, still voicemail. I felt a knot in my stomach and nausea in my throat. But I was naive and although my body told me something was wrong, I convinced myself everything was OK.
When we hung out the next day and I could see that my Erik was different. Overly nice, but still in his own world. I never thought another girl was involved, maybe he drank too much? I was basically a prude so he would have been ashamed to tell me if he was drunk, this was likely the issue at hand. We returned to school and had 2 classes together but instead I felt we were further apart. We now argued a lot, and that young love ecstasy was dwindling. We pushed each other to the point of separation one week before my birthday. He pulled away for good and my heart had truly been broken. I cried for 24 hours, in fact I sobbed. I had never experienced such sadness in my life, all I wanted was for him to hug me but he was gone.
Back on campus I struggled to partake in my regular extra curricular activities. I recall my soccer coach encouraging to take some of that anger out on the field, but I just felt deflated. My fellow cheerleaders wanted retribution, but I wanted him. I think Erik missed me too as I saw him smile at me in the hallway often. He eventually approached me and asked to take me to see The Lion King on Broadway for my birthday as we had originally planned. I was nervous, but I missed him so much that against my better judgement and loved one's input I agreed to go.
Friday came and Erik's white '86 Suburban pulled up in front of my parent's house. I dressed my best, wore a push up braw and heavy eyeliner, because obviously this was my best look, and stepped out the front door. Our ride was quiet but neither of us could hold back from smiling, we really did love and miss each other. The date went well, but with minimal affection. As the night came to a close he parked in front of my house once more and walked me to the door. There we kissed with so much passion I felt as though I was starring in my own romance film. I thought, "this is it, we are together! I love him and he loves me and that's all we need." But then he pulled away and drove home. Nothing had changed, that was until Monday.
We were sitting in our last class of the day together when I got a phone call from my best friend who attended a neighboring high school. Luckily I had good grades so my teacher allowed me to excuse myself and speak with her quickly. She told me that she needed to talk to Erik immediately. And then I knew. Erik got on the phone and then looked at me dead faced. That knot came back, and I wanted to throw up. The words of another girl escaped his mouth but my body tingled, my head went dizzy and my ears numb. We were over, forever.
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