Frenemies

Shirt & Skirt: Lotus, Shoes: Jessica Simpson, Earrings: old from Bebe
So... I guess I'll start by pointing out the obvious.
I am wearing a shirt that you can totally see through.
WHOA Nelly.
My first (and more conservative) thought was to wear a black tank top under it, but then I was like... naaah... booooring. Snoozefest 2014.
This gem was made to be worn over a black bra, and only a black bra. Go big or go home, right? Sometimes you just gotta say EFF it. I'm doing it. I'm just going to shut off all of the little voices in my head that tell me that I can't or that I shouldn't and I am going to do it.
I wouldn't wear this just anywhere, but it was perfect for an event the manfriend and I went to last Thursday night. My bestest buds own and run a boutique called LOTUS in Charlotte and it was their 4th birthday party (which included dinner and a fashion show). I used to work at LOTUS, but since I started teaching Pilates I'm more like their number one biggest fan and a really good client. I wasn't feeling ballsier than normal just because it was a fashion show though (although they do inspire you to push your personal limits a bit). I was confident enough to wear this last week mostly because of the women I was going to be around at the event.
This small group of friends of mine (my manfriend refers to them as my "lotus girls") are 100%, true-blue, GOT.CHO.BACK 24/7 365, slash all 4 tires, or kill anyone who says otherwise... supportive. Yes, they too are into clothes, fashion, and promote stepping outside of your box, but more than that they are positive people who make you feel like a million bucks. We do that for one another. We are brutally honest when something looks not so good (cut your hair... ahhh, how about you don't wear that... love you, but not your best look... blonde ombre is over... I can see your butt through that... put it down and step away), but we are also not threatened by one another... not competitive. We love each other and love making one another feel good. Knowing I was going to be around my "lotus girls" gave me the confidence to do something that scared me a little bit. They are my safe space. Being with them is like being in the middle of a big, warm, shiny, sparkly hug.
I think sometimes as women we are worried about other women talking shit. It can prevent us from doing or saying things that are a bit outside of the "norm". Like this outfit... I can hear it now... "Who does she think she is? Why would she wear that? She teaches Pilates, but it's not like she's super skinny or anything. Isn't she a bit too old for that? It's a touch much if you ask me. Holy, did you see that shirt, or lack thereof, that Melissa was wearing? I would never!! Blah... Blah... Blah..."
Do you have people in your life like that? I call them frenemies. Part friend, part secret enemy? The "friend" who rarely compliments you, kind of seems to want to sabotage you, is quick to say something negative, and looks constipated-uncomfortable when saying something nice to or about you? They say sly shit about your lifestyle, your partner, your kids, your vacations, your job (or if you stay at home), what you wear, your hair, how you spend your money, what you drive? They are a friend... and a rival. That dynamic is weird as fuk and scares the shit out of me. It makes me wildly uncomfortable and I try to stay away from that type of woman at all costs. I am lucky in that the older I get, the easier it is for me to distance myself from that shit. I'll break up with a bitch quick fast. So fast it will make your head spin. I swear I can sniff it out. I want real friends in my life, not some weird version of a friend who gets pleasure out of making me feel like shit. Fuk you. You can be miserable all by YO self. Ain't nobody got time for that.
True story: when I tried this outfit on, my girl Krista was with me (one of my "lotus girls") and she teared up. Maybe she was pre-menstrual and her hormones had her in a tizzy, but when I asked her what was wrong she said... "Nothing Mel, I'm just proud of you. You've worked really hard this year, and that outfit looks really good on you. I love it. I love you. I'm just happy for you. That's all."She was crying. Legit tears.
Now... if you don't have a friend like THAT... you need to find yourself one, because having just one will do more for the quality of your life than all the frenemies in the world. And... if you've searched high and low and cannot find one... you can come sit with me. I'll be over here, hanging out in my see through shirt with my bad bitches.

EL, JR, KH, Me (not pictured: HHC and TR) love you guys.