At Home

**I think the issue some people are having viewing the video is that I made it so that Pacing the Panic Room is the only domain that this can be embedded. So if you are looking at this site through a reader the video wont play? Thats all I can think of. Sorry for the trouble. Cole and I have been pillow talking ourselves sleepy about babies lately. Cole reads about signs and stars and tells me we would be the perfect parents for a little Aries baby, its funny we never seem to talk about gender, just personality. I keep thinking about the number, there will be five of us. I imagine us walking into a room, all five of us, will we become a hurricane to our friends? "Oh no! Here come the Marshalls its about to get crazy up in here!!" Sometimes when I take the trash out, I stand beside our house and listen to how loud we are, the squeals and shouting wiggling through brick and glass and spilling out across our lawn and I think, "My God, were insane." You should hear us playing hide and seek at night, its like living next to a monster truck rally. I can see how easily another baby can fit into this family when things are the most chaotic, Im ready for the volume to keep going up. I keep thinking about Tessas birth, and the sounds from that night, and how the first time I saw her I thought she wasnt breathing and I started to die inside. Its a ridiculous scenario now, Cole was beaming at her new baby and looking into her eyes thinking "shes perfect", and I couldnt see her face and was bawling my eyes out clutching Coles head and chanting, "please be okay." Cole can remember thinking, "Whats is wrong with him?" I have secretly panicked inside at every birth I have ever been at, until I hear the baby cry my heart races, I sweat, I whisper little prayers to the universe, and its always the sweetest sound to hear that first little gasp after the cry cuts the tension. I started thinking about how cool it was that I have witnessed these incredible displays of love and vulnerability between our friends. First Peter and Trish which I shared HERE before, and then I was asked by our friends Brice and Haley to make them a film, which I am finally getting around to posting today. The longer labor goes on for, the more they forget I am around with a camera, and before too long they are on an island, and I am filming two people so locked into one another that nothing else exists. Im getting to see two people at their best, watching how hard they work to keep each other going -- everything is stripped away, its love. Its gorgeous, and the energy that fills you up from having been in a room so thick with love is a powerful thing. Cole and I are so lucky to have found friends like these, and now to get to see these babies all growing up together and become little friends that care about one another is almost too much to handle. I also wanted to share a link HERE to Brices own blog, where you can see cool things like him working on one of his glass pieces that he likes to paint on and then shatter with a hammer. Enjoy!