5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me before I Went to College
With back-to-school season upon us (woof) I thought I’d put together some college-related blog posts over the next few weeks for all those still in school or with kids that age. I should preface today’s post with: Of course hindsight is 20/20. I don’t regret anything I did in college because it brought me to where I am now, but if there were five things I’d want to tell everyone headed off to college this fall that would have really helped me out when I was that age, I’d say …
Figuring out what you don’t want to do can be a necessary way to figure out what you do want.
Some people know exactly what they want to be, declare their major the first day of college, follow that path to its end, get all the right internships along the way, and then enter into a fulfilling career upon graduating. Don’t be frustrated if you’re not one of them. Those people are rarities, although the highlight reel that is social media would have us believe otherwise. I switched my major six times in college and had a lot of jobs that weren’t right before finding the career that was (you can read more about that disastrous journey here).
You have to consciously pursue workouts and activity now.
I talked a little bit about this in my post Pride in Appearance vs. Pride in Ability. After playing sports and dancing all throughout my childhood and high school, arriving at college was a huge shock to my body. I had always been active with organized sports so I didn’t really have to think about working out in a traditional sense. When I no longer belonged to a team in college, I gained 20lbs from the lack of exercise, booze and late-night pizza binges. It was a serious wake-up call. You certainly can’t out-exercise partying and unhealthy eating, but if I had gone to college with a plan to hit the gym, it would have helped balance things out a little.
Speaking of the Freshman 15 …
Don’t put your life on hold if you’re not feeling 100% happy with how you look.
This goes beyond college and applies to life in general. When I was rocking my Freshman 15, I started to avoid things like pool parties, beach days, group dinners and events that involved food (i.e. every social event ever) because I felt really self-conscious about my weight. I would tell myself that once I lost the weight, I’d start doing all these fun things again, but all that I accomplished was missing out on a ton of fun times with my friends. You don’t have to look perfect to make perfect memories. Live in the moment, enjoy every second you can with your friends, and seek balance rather than restricting yourself from fun in order to counter the too-much-fun sitting around your waistline.
It’s OK if it’s not “the best four years of your life”—especially right off the bat.
I remember constantly hearing this growing up: “College is going to be the best four years of your life!” But, while it was amazing at times, it was also awful at times. And in a weird way, that made me feel like a failure. I felt pressure to make college live up to this amazing expectation, and so I ignored a lot of the issues I was going through and tried to act like everything was fine.
Almost all my college friends (myself included) thought about transferring at some point during our freshman year. It’s not uncommon to find college a rough adjustment, especially if you don’t already have a high school friend or other acquaintance/group/team there. Making friends is awkward and humbling as you get older, and you might not find your rhythm for several months or even the first year. Give it time, and don’t be discouraged if it isn’t the solo-cup filled party portrayed in movies right from the start.
EVERYONE’S PATH IS DIFFERENT. You don’t need to go to college right after high school, and going to college doesn’t guarantee you a job (but the people you meet in college might). Furthermore, you don’t need to go to college to be successful.
I think the college system in this country is total bullshit, so this last point is admittedly biased (haha). Lots of people don’t know what they want to be when they go into college, so they end up spending 100k to get a degree that they don’t even end up using. I wish I’d waited a few years after high school before going to college so that I could have used my parents’ hard-earned money towards a degree that would actually have benefited me. Going to college right from high school is sort of engrained in us as the natural next step, but it doesn’t have to be.
Everyone’s path is different. It’s easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to your friends. Figure out what your definition of success is, be patient with yourself as you learn who you are and what makes you happy, and remember that it’s ok if you have no clue what you want to do with your life.
For those of you out of college, what advice would you give to your 18-year-old self?
