Frienvy: the good, the bad and the ugly
I don't just set high standards for myself. My bar is higher than the glinting metal skyscrapers that tickle the clouds outside my kitchen window. I blame Instagram. And Pinterest. Endless feeds depicting wild flowers sprouting from porcelain vases, button nose babies clad in hand-knitted fair isle hats, teetering stacks of syrup-drizzled pancakes and spotless, bright airy bedrooms with upturned crate bedside tables and antique wrought iron bedsteads.
I should clarify that this post is not a whinge-fest or a desire to accumulate 'stuff'. My brimming wardrobe and bulging drawers are testament to my penchant for knick knacks and sentimental hoarding. It's about a lifestyle I suppose; the ability to be that girl who can do everything. To start the day with manicured nails, flawless make-up and a head full of ideas. To spend the day guzzling water, chatting on Twitter and drawing thick black lines through my to-do list. Then to end the day having finished reading a book, had coffee with a friend, baked a cake and written a blog post. Does that even happen?
Sometimes I go a week without tweeting. Or blogging. Sometimes I go a week without hoovering, or replying to a friend's text. Somewhere along the way life got a little complicated. This week alone I've had a cat at the vet's with bladder stones and a possible tumour, an altercation with a neighbour which resulted in me having to involve the police, a tummy lurgy and a long overdue reunion with my dad after 10 years of silence. Needless to say it's been a tough week. Add to that the usual weekly ordeals of flat cleaning, house admin, 'wedmin', hair-washing and of course work. It makes me wonder how others do it.
Perhaps we're all guilty of being a little secretive about our own struggles, sharing instead the best parts of our lives on Instagram and Facebook, which give a skewed impression of the highs and lows. A quick glance at my Facebook feed and I'm greeted with pictures of hazy palm trees, piles of perfectly wrapped Christmas presents, a dangling set of 'first time buyer' house keys, muddy wellies trudging through forests and before and after weightloss selfies. After a particularly wretched week it's understandable to expect the green-eyed monster to raise its ugly head just a little...
It seems to be a rather vulgar thing to admit to being jealous of your friends, but I'm convinced it happens to us all. Just recently I experienced a big dose of 'frienvy' when one of my best friends bought her first home - something that has long been a distant dream for me.
The truth is, jealousy is natural, but how you react to it seems to be key. Put your friend down, show no support and sneer at their achievements and yes, you're a bit of a toad. But channel your 'frienvy' into doing better in your own life and you're all set. When it comes to my friend, I turned her achievement into a kick up the backside. I packed in my job and decided to move to Manchester so my dream of owning a home could be that much closer (but not before giving her a big hug, a card and a pressie of course).
Recently I was sent an infographic that proves I'm not the only one to feel a little jealous of my friends. It made for an interesting read. If anything it's good to know I'm not the only one to feel a little jealous of my friends at times.
Do you ever suffer from frienvy? How do you deal with it?
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