By Herself
The problem with your first (live) child is that they really feel they can’t function without your constant attention.
“Mama, I dropped it!”
(Pick it up!)
“Mama, you draw circle!”
(I already did, you cried that it was wrong. I am not falling for that again.)
“MAMA!!!”
(I am not responding to you until you ask nicely and quietly. Do not yell at me.)
“Mama throw garbage.”
(I’ve thrown several things in the garbage now, I’m pretty convinced you’re asking me to do it just to make me stop whatever else I am doing.)
I have taken to intentionally ignoring her, hiding in the kitchen cleaning (which, yes, needs to get done) just so that she will do something on her own. And she does! If I’m sitting with her she decides she can’t possibly draw well enough, I ought to do it for her. Yesterday while I was hiding out of sight she not only traced numbers she she also colored within the lines, something she’s never shown any inclination – much less ability – to do before.
There’s been talk about that article written about the mom on the iphone, and rebuttals, and blah blah I don’t pay much attention. But Julie wrote about it over at A Little Pregnant and I think it’s worth the read. “During interludes of benign neglect we’re simultaneously teaching our children something valuable: that other people’s desires are important, too; that you’re not always the focus of every eye, and you mustn’t expect to be; that when you need us we’ll be present, but not every second you merely want; that if Momma — shudder — looks away for a minute, you’ll still be fine.”
I’m home with my kids, doing craft projects with Kate and taking them to the Children’s Museum and the Library and playdates. They come grocery shopping with me and trips to Target where they learn all about the joy of shopping for useless but cute things. I take three billion photos of them. When I’m reading and posting online it’s usually about them – uploading photos, sharing stories (or rants) – simply because this is my life all day. Kate is fine if we are out, but she doesn’t handle boredom well. At home if I’m not Paying Attention To Her she is hanging off my arm whining, begging me to wattcchhh meeeeeee. The poor kiddo needs to learn how to occupy herself.
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Kate is a very outgoing, friendly child. When we are out she says hi to everyone we see. Now that she is learning new things she likes to walk up to people and say, “Look! Look at the fish/toy/shoes/whatever!” She also says helpful things like, “That’s Mama!” The other day at the Children’s Museum she kept trying to show an older boy the lion that she had made. (He was quite snotty about it, pushing her hand away and telling her to leave him alone. Nice.) Today we went to an Ecotarium, full of interesting exhibits about animals and weather and dinosaurs. At one point we came across another girl around 3 years old and Kate and her ran giggling into a “fort” together. I could hear them talking in quiet girl-voices. They both peeked their head out the door, just hanging out together. When they came out they went over to a microscope to explore and Kate pointed and said, “Your turn!”
Like I said, she’s just a friendly kid. She’s going to love preschool in the fall! I’m leaning towards putting her in the 3 days a week class (a 3-4 year old class), as opposed to the 2 days a week (a 3 year old class). The kid has an obsession with letters and numbers and words and she’s not lacking on social skills. I think she’ll do just fine.
