Postpartum recovery – more trouble than giving birth!

I wanted to write about my experience with breastfeeding so far since it’s an issue very close to my heart right now. But since things are still changing (for the better), I decided to hold off first. Maybe… hopefully… I can write a happy-ending story in a few months’ time. So for now I shall record my postpartum recovery experience instead.

More trouble than giving birth?

Indeed it was. At least for me. I took 12 hours to deliver Clarissa but at least 3 weeks to get rid of the pain from my episiotomy wound. While I feel my body is still recovering / adjusting until now at the 6 weeks mark, those first 3 weeks were the most erm… annoying / uncomfortable. But these 3 weeks were also when my body went through pretty remarkable physical adjustments!

Here are the memorable parts…

The epi wound
This was the most painful and bothersome part. So my OB told me in my third trimester to massage the perineum (the muscles surrounding the opening) if I didn’t want an episiotomy. And I tried. But every time I did, I’d end up with a bit of bleeding. My nails were not long and I pressed very gently and only for a few minutes, but still I’d see some blood on my fingers. I wasn’t comfortable with that and so after a few tries I just gave up and hoped for the best.

Unfortunately I still had to have an episiotomy. My doctor took almost an hour to stitch me up and Robby told me the scar pretty much extended almost all the way to my anus. But since I gave birth naturally I was still expecting a fast recovery. Plus a friend of mine who also gave birth naturally with episiotomy said she had no pain at all after just a week.

By the way I need to say it here that my husband was such a sport throughout the delivery! He helped prop me up when I pushed, calmly dealt with everything, had no issues with blood and gore, watching the doctor stitched me up and everything… Thumbs up!

During my hospital stay, I initially felt sore but was not in much pain because of the painkillers. My doctor told me how to take care of the wound and not to sit up too much, no squatting with open legs, no sitting on a rubber ring or cushion. Because I wasn’t in too much discomfort within the first 24 hours, I still sat up for quite a bit (it’s inevitable really, with the attempts to breastfeed and to eat my meals, etc). But afterwards I felt more and more sore, to the point that I ate my meals standing up while in the hospital! I seriously didn’t want to be in a seated position and if I absolutely had to sit up I’d lean towards one side, effectively just sitting on one bum cheek. Hahaha…

At home the soreness continued, especially after the painkillers prescribed was finished, and I found it very very annoying. I mean, it’s not so painful that I couldn’t take it, it’s not like contraction pain, but it was bad enough to interfere with everything. I mean just imagine the location of the pain, and then consider how many activities you naturally end up doing in a seated position throughout the day. Trying to breastfeed and pumping stressed me out. In fact I pretty much just sat on the very edge of my bed to pump, pushing up with my legs so my bum didn’t bear the full weight of my body. Yes yes not a good position I know, but sitting really pressed on the wound. For the most part, I tried skipping sitting as much as possible. So for example rather than sitting on the bed first to get up / lie down, I just directly went from lying down to standing position and vice versa.

Close to 2 weeks after giving birth, I went for a check-up. My doctor declared that I was recovering better than expected. But still it took 3 long weeks for the pain to be gone, probably because of the size of the cut. And even after that there was still some discomfort. Today I mostly don’t feel any pain / discomfort except for when I press on the area.

If I ever get pregnant again, I’ll have another go with the perineum massage from much earlier and pray hard I don’t have to get another episiotomy because really, it’s a whole lot more bothersome than going through contraction pain which lasted several hours rather than weeks!! In fact it made me fleetingly think I should consider a planned c-section next time because at least I don’t have to sit on my recovering wound!!!

note: no I don’t really want to do c section. Turns out full recovery can take several months so never mindddd… I shall hope for spontaneous labor without episiotomy next time then. Hahaa..

Peeing & passing motion within the first 24 hours
So right after delivery I was told I had to pee and pass motion within 24 hours. I did and those first pee & poo were probably the most memorable ones in my life. LOL.

I failed in my first attempt to pee. Perhaps due to lingering effects of the epidural, it felt like I just didn’t know how to pee! Which muscle to use to let it flow… hahaha… Really really weird. Thankfully the second time round I managed to ‘command’ my muscles to work!

Now the pooping part was scary, especially after having a cut in the area. But I did it. The stool softener helped too. Passing motion continued to be a rather stressful event for the next week or so.

Weighty issues
Now this is the most amazing thing to me. To be honest before I got pregnant, one of my ‘concerns’ was that I’d turn into a fat hippo and take forever to lose weight or possibly never regain back my pre-pregnancy figure. Vain I know. But that’s the truth. =p

When I got home from the hospital I weighed myself and found that I lost 4kg out of total 11.5kg I gained during pregnancy. I suppose that’s mostly from the baby, placenta and amniotic fluid. I was thinking, ‘oh well 7.5kg more to go but at least I didn’t get very much out of shape because of my gestational diabetes diet’. I totally didn’t expect to lose most of that within the first two week post-partum without any dieting / exercising! Like who can exercise with such a sore bottom?? =.= I also ate and drank more than when I was pregnant, hoping it would increase my breast milk supply.

I heard that you feel cold / weaker right after delivery but I was the total opposite! If I felt warm during pregnant, I felt VERY warm after giving birth. Every day I’d wake up in the morning or from naps completely drenched in perspiration even though the AC was on and I slept without any blanket. I also perspired a lot while eating or basically doing anything. This went on for exactly two weeks, during which I dropped a kg every few days. Once I passed the two-week mark the perspiration-while-sleeping-and-eating stopped and now I’m back to sleeping with blanket. Hahaha…

During the post-partum check-up my doctor also did an ultrasound to show my uterus had pretty much shrank to its original shape and size. I had lost most of the lochia and only had slight bleeding for another couple of weeks that came out every time I pumped.

I concluded that my body was simply getting rid of excess fluid it retained during pregnancy. And probably because my diet was so controlled in my third trimester (12 spoonfuls of rice per meal, wheat crackers for snacks every day… geez…) the 11.5kg gained was really just the belly plus excess fluid, which was why I could lose it so easily. The lack of sleep probably helped too.

After 3-4 weeks I totally lost all of the pregnancy weight already! Happy? Well I had mixed feelings. I was happy of course, but concerned if it ended up affecting my milk supply because Clarissa was still drinking 1-2 formula feeds daily to supplement my breast milk.

Loose skin and a crater!
It was odd seeing my loose tummy right after delivery. It was even more odd that I couldn’t sit up from a lying down position just simply using my abs. So I had to push myself up for probably the first week or so, I don’t remember. What I do remember is seeing my reflection on the mirror as I laid sideways on the bed – the waist part naturally would curve in of course but at the time rather than curve it sharply sank in. Not sure if you can imagine what I mean but it’s like as if I no longer had any muscle in my abdomen. Hahaha…

And the crater? I was referring to the huge belly button I ended up with. Eww. TMI? Never mind. =p

What’s nice was seeing the physical changes as my tummy got tighter and tighter each day, the loose skin getting firmer again, without having to do postpartum massage and tummy wrap, or dieting and exercising.

Today while it no longer looks so loose and flabby, my abs are still not as strong as what it used to be. How do I know? Three weeks post-partum, when I took time to walk outside for some fresh air or a quick trip to the mall, I ended up with stitches even though I walked slowly. And after an hour of walking I’d end up with a sore back, a sign that I overworked my back muscle because my abs were not doing their part! These days I can walk at my normal (fast) speed and I no longer get a sore back from walking but I physically feel exhausted when I’m out and about for 2 hours straight. So yea still recovering…

Walking at snail’s pace
Speaking of walking, I didn’t realize how slowly I had gotten used to walking while around the house!

What with taking care of the baby, pumping and trying to do normal daily activities, I completely didn’t think of getting out of the house for the first two weeks except for necessary doctor’s visits! It was in the third week that I realized I had not been out at all. So I went out. And realized that I was walking like an old grandma with arthritis in my legs. LOL. Ok maybe I’m exaggerating, but basically I was a lot slower than even when I was 40 weeks pregnant. Hahaha… And climbing the steps of the overhead bridge filled me with dread because of the sore-ness. (Whereas I continued to take the steps all the way through my pregnancy without any difficulty).

So yes… those are the memorable parts through my recovery period. I’m glad to say that I finally feel pretty normal again now. Time flies so quickly that next week I’m already back at work. Hopefully I continue to recover well and gain back my pre-pregnancy stamina and muscle strength, and… dare I say it… soon enough I’ll be ready to return to ballet… hopefully. =)