Seekerville · Oct 3, 2016

9 Ways to Face Your Fears by Mary Connealy

1. Write down a list of your fears then study them. This is literally facing your fears. Just by identifying them, you make them smaller and more manageable.

2. Tackle your fears. What are you literally afraid of? Finishing your book? Or if it is finished are you afraid of declaring it really DONE? The dark? Public speaking? Your mother-in-law? What can you do to face that fear. Stand up and ask for prayers in church--that's public speaking. Make a habit of visiting your mil for coffee, simple, brief—unless she’s really scary, then you’re just being smart to be afraid!

3. First world problems. Ask yourself if what you fear is big and real. Do you have a roof over your head and heat on a bitter cold night? Do you have food to eat and clean water to drink? If you’re afraid of air travel, ask yourself how you’d like riding a covered wagon across ten states at ten miles an hour through cold and heat, rain and hail. Maybe what you fear is a luxury many in this world would love to have.
4. Accomplish something. Assemble a small shed in your back yard. Figure out how to set the clock in your car. Tackle some new program online, how to fiddle with images on some free sight. Write everyday for a month. Take it on, even if it’s NOT a fear, because success makes you feel great.

5. Teach someone something. Unless you just started writing today, you know stuff beginners don’t. I remember the first computer I ever had, phoning for tech support and this guy talked me through things like, “Do you see the START button in the lower left hand corner? Put your mouse on that and this window will open.” And I’m all, “Wow you’re a genius, how do you know all this?” Later, I realized this was the most basic possible knowledge and … I showed my mom how to do it when SHE got a computer and she said, “Wow, you’re a genius….” Do it, help a beginner, it feels great, it reminds you you’re learning and improving and it makes you feel generous and happy. Tell someone what POV means. Tell them about starting their story with a BANG. Show them how to create an ID on Blogger. Tell them about the ‘black moment’. There is SOMEONE who needs to know what you know.

6. Step outside your comfort zone. I try to do this but I’m not sure how successful I am. But I do know I’ve developed a ‘comfort level’ with public speaking. I’m not saying I’ll ever like it, and I do know that I could be better at it if I’d work harder, hone speeches, search for ways to inspire and more order within the speeches. But what I do, well, I do okay. Now what else is my comfort zone? I know it when I feel myself ducking for cover. If you can’t think of any comfort zone you need to break out of, good for you, you’re an adventurer in life. But just in case you’re so deep in that zone you don’t even know there’s a world outside, practice. Go to a different restaurant and order something weird. Here's a trick, in honor of Seekerville...order the NINTH thing on the menu. (Unless it's gross, this isn't an order, it's a suggestion with some leeway for you) Change the route you drive to church. Go explore neighborhoods in your town....and try to guess what they pay in property taxes!!! Little things and practice will help you face change, so when you DO find a need to step out of the comfort zone, you’ve had some experience.

7. And know that, as sure as I’m giving you excellent advice, there is NO WAY I’m going to start playing with mice until I get used to them. Oh my gosh, I’m a little dizzy and slightly nauseous as I type. I’m going to go look at pictures of Princess Kate’s clothes in Canada until my mind clears and my stomach settles. (this probably shouldn't count as one of the nine but it is extremely important to me!)
8. Learn something new. Take a class in accounting. Join a Judo class. Volunteer for the funeral committee at church. Sign up to drive for Uber. Go to a safari park and see if you can buy elk antlers and make a coat rack. Rent a guitar and play it for a month. Get nylon strings, not steel, your fingers will thank you. (a friend and I rented a banjo once. It was pretty fun. We could only play like...Deliverance!) Write a book in a strange genre. That’s right, a fairy tale or a gothic romance or set the book in Biblical times. Write a children's book or a song or a poem.
It’s exercise for your brain. It’s a creative workout. The change will bring energy back to your regular work or you might discover you LOVE some new genre. I didn't start with cowboys you know!
9. I will say here that so much of FEAR is rooted in the devil. Have you ever lain awake nights worrying, or angry or FEARFUL of what was to come? Or arguing with your husband about something he did six years ago? Or listing all you have to do tomorrow and worrying about how you'll get it all done? I truly believe that is the devil. He comes into our thoughts and stirs and stirs up fear and worry and anger, all the negative emotions. DRIVE HIM OUT. Recognize it. FACE IT AND REPLACE IT. Refused to be part of that ugly negative thinking. Once you become aware of who is the father of the lies we stew about, we can knock it down by simply changing our minds. DO IT. And you'll conquer the source of so many fears. FACE IT AND REPLACE IT. I'm claiming that as a Mary Connealy quote, too!


This year in Seekerville we've been talking about facing our fears. Have you done that?
Has anyone taken a chance with something you fear? If not, what's

out there, what LITTLE thing that is new and different could you do to get exercise in taking a chance.

We are giving away prizes all month and BIG prizes every week and a GRAND prize at the end. Leave a comment, today I'm giving away THREE prizes. A copy of No Way Up. A copy of 12 Brides of Summer, a novella collection I'm in.
And a copy of Cowboy Christmas Homecoming, releasing Oct. 15....SOON!
With Ruthy, Julie and Anna Schmidt. My book is called Longhorn Christmas and guess what??? It's a western.

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