Self Help Hipster Looks At Art.

So when I was in Vienna, my darling host got me museum tickets and I went to look at a bunch of art.

And then thought things. This is a collection of both the art and the thoughts that happened to my brain that day.

First, I went to visit the Mumok: Museum Moderner Kunst.

I have love-hate relationship with modern art. I believe that art does not necessarily have to be a beautiful painting or classical statue*, and art can make you feel things.

I also believe that stapling a tea towel to the wall and then giving it a title does NOT an art piece make.

But trying to keep an open mind, I decided to go look at a bunch of modern art.

See, this is exactly WHY my mind CLOSES from modern art.

This was an installation of five crappy televisions on which old naked people with fake genitalia do a puppet-like dance to loud weird classical music. The artist wanted to make a point with this piece about dance and age or something. I read the description three times but that is all I can remember.

Other people may think about as a Special Bus Furniture, but as soon as I saw it I was reminded of a yoga pose and that made me love it.

This should have been named “If Your Child Makes This In Art Therapy, RUN”

This painting was actually pretty cool. It was called Modern Art Museum (or something) and depicted a whole bunch of modernist artists, including the painter, trying to get across the question: What qualifies as modern art?

Little joke was that all the people in the painting were looking towards the viewer, except for the art it himself: He was in the painting twice, once reading a newspaper and once just with his back to the viewer while he is drawing.

I don’t know what Quote Guy was on, but I don’t think I’m on his level. Made me think of this picture.

Ganga, by Francis Picabia. This was another one I actually loved, I liked the twist: It was modern, but depicting the style of Michelangelo and Boticelli: two of my favorite classical artists.

…Yes, because they’re pretty much the only two I know. Stop judging me.

Masks from old iPad and iPhone packages. I always thought this was what deranged Apple fanboys would be doing when going nuts over the newest edition of the MacBook.

I can’t be snarky about this one. I actually really like it. It’s by Max Ernst, called Feast of the Gods.

I love the colours, the shapes, the way the different beings on the painting look both mechanical and organic and like they are all looking at you. It was one of my favourites.

I literally don’t know what to say about this.

This is te result of mixing minimalistic art with festival fashion. I am pretty sure I have seen guys wear this as a tanktop.

A fine piece of ass art, am I right guys?

After browsing the gift shop (loved the gift shop) I walked to Leopold for MORE ARTZ.

I was starving, so first I went into the Leopold Restaurant and ordered the best art there is in the world: Good food.

Mini chick pea burgers, pumpkin mash and grilled fennel. Amazing.

“You want to go to Taco Bell?”

“I’m on an all carb diet, GOD KAREN you are so stupid!!”

…Yeah, okay.

Oh Freud. You crazy.

I walked around a bunch more through the Leopold Museum too, but my camera’s batteries were low and my brain was completely saturated with other people’s weird, sometimes beautiful, creations.

Enough is enough. So then I left, got a bottle of Coca Cola and some sour candy and crashed on the couch for a couple of hours reading a super easy ghost hunter novel.

Was fun though.

Hope you guys have a great Easter, bye.

*Simpleton that I am, it does help.

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