Orange is the new Expat
I just finished reading Orange is the New Black, a true story about a middle class white woman who ends up in jail for 15 months. As I was reading this I was thinking of how the prison life that Piper described seems a lot like expat life. Here are my musings.
**Yes, people don’t have a choice but to go to jail and we can choose to go abroad but this is just a fun piece of writing that came to me as I finished the book so let’s take it lightly, ok?**
1. Make use of what’s available.
In OTNB Piper and co use things they’re given to make delicious meals – like boiled eggs and mayo to make deviled eggs, and biscuits and liquid pudding to make cheesecake.
As an expat, especially in places very far away from home, it’s difficult to get home comforts and we have to make do with what’s available. In Japan this was very true of my expat friends and I. Although the range of things in the supermarkets was often very slim, we’d always find a way to whip up some mexican food, or some scones, or some carrot cake. When I say “we” with all of these things, I mean my amazing friends. (Ashley I miss your cake so bad…!!)
2. Small communities stick together.
Piper found herself stuck in small living spaces with lots of kinds of people she’d never even spoken to before. But being part of a community helped her grow as a person and she ended up missing those people a lot when she was out of prison.
In many countries, there are so few expats that the expat community is small and sticks together no matter who they are. In Japan I made friends with the jock-type American guys who I would have avoided otherwise, but now I’m out of Japan I do sometimes miss them and appreciate how we stuck together in the face of Japanese life. Here in Germany there is a slightly bigger pool of expats from which to make friends but again I do find myself being with people I wouldn’t necessarily call my “type” of people. Regardless, we are a team and we help each other out and I would still help a person if they needed it because sometimes expat life IS hard and we need to stick together.
3. There will be a Queen/King Bee.
Every tight community needs a queen or king bee. For the jail in the book, this was Pops, an older lady at the end of a very long sentence. She controlled the kitchen, meaning that she had a lot of access to things that could be traded.
Usually in an expat circle the queen/king bee is also someone who has been there the longest, since they know the ropes and can function in that new culture, and also have the most contacts thus having the most friends/followers.
4. Welcome/farewell parties are a thing.
Like prison, the expat life can feel like you’re stuck in some revolving doors sometimes. People come, people go. Some people stay for 20 years, some for 20 days. But in most communities there are people there ready to help through the culture shock and give you everything you need for your new life, and then of course there are farewell parties to wish you all the best wherever you’re going to.
5. You’ll find yourself waiting desperately for visitors.
When Piper talks about sitting around desperately waiting for her fiance and family to come and visit, I knew that feeling well. While we pretend to be off leading awesome lives, sometimes there’s nothing better than someone from home visiting and bringing a slice of normal life with them.
6. At mercy to jailers/locals.
Piper’s life was completely dictated by whether the staff at the jail were in a good mood that day or not. Getting on the wrong side of someone there could mean being locked up in a tiny room for a few weeks – or worse.
While no person is going to lock an expat into a tiny room (well…unless you want them to…), expat life can go really well or can go really crappy depending on how kind the locals are to you. For example, one time I went to pick up a package, only the sender had used a name for me that is different to the one on my passport. The woman at the post office gave me a lecture and made me feel like crap just because my middle name was missing on this package and it ruined my whole day. The other day the cashier at the supermarket got angry with me because I didn’t understand the German for “would you like cash back” right away, which made me stress out a bit which caused me to drop my eggs and smash them on the floor.
The people around expats can have very big influences on how our lives go!
When I thought up this post idea I was really excited to write it but was worried people would take it the wrong way and complain that I can choose to be an expat etc and that I’m just whinging. Hopefully this will be taken lightly and I won’t get too much hate mail ;)
And as for the book Orange is the New Black – I loves the series, but the book was a little too easy-reading for me. The story didn’t have so much structure and was like someone threw a load of anecdotes at the page. Still, if you want something quick and easy to read then I say give it a go!
