Choosing My Attitude

As I write this, the year mark of chemotherapy has come and gone. I had some preconceived notion of how this new part of my life was going to go....discover that cancer has joined me again (uninvited, mind you), 6 months of chemo, tumors were going to vanish, I could proclaim "I'm cancer free!" and move on.....but it just isn't that cut and dry. Why on earth did I think it would be? Attitude is everything isn't it? Whatever we face in life from the big things (like cancer) or the little things (laundry-ha) attitude can really make a difference. I've been told how strong I am, and I often pause, because, I don't really don't think about it in terms like that....I don't think to myself; "Today, Michelle, we are going to be strong!"....I open my eyes each morning, and I am aware of the blessing that is. I opened my eyes this morning. I am alive another day...and go from there. :) I think a lot of it comes from my personality, easy going, flexible, laid-back..."Oh? We're going to change my regimen for the 4th time? K."
The drug that I am currently on bottoms out my white blood counts, so the doctor has changed my regimen again...chemo every other week with a Nuelasta shot the day after. So we will see how this goes. I haven't blogged in a while and I would like to announce allllll the things I've done, but, quite frankly not much has been done. On a couple of days that I felt decent, I did do some leg work on figuring out what new counters I am going to select for The Kitchen Facelift: Phase 2. I also purchased some cabinetry (not all) to start that part. It is slow going...but I'm focusing on the going part not the slow part. See? All in the attitude ;) Another ludicrous ER visit that I have to tell you about. I was innocently eating dinner one night, and because the chemo has weakened my teeth, I cracked a molar in half. Oh no, I think, dental work and chemotherapy is a big no-no (high risk of infection)...so I call the Dr. the next day, I get my blood checked, and he oks me to get the work done. I make an appointment with my dentist and we decide to extract the tooth. I get home after my appointment, everything had gone ok, then around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I start bleeding from the extraction site. I am changing gauze A LOT. I call the dentist and they tell me to hold ice water in my mouth to help the blood clot...I do this and it doesn't help at all. I will not gross you out with all the details...but we decide to go to the ER because I never stop bleeding. Fast forward to getting back home around 3 am (yes, I bled for a long time) and I am not home 15 minutes and I start bleeding again! I wait to see if it will stop again (another several hours) and it just won't....off to the ER again. As we are rolling into the ER, I check the gauze and I've stopped bleeding. We wait in the parking lot to see if it is going to start up again and it doesn't. We decide to call the cancer institute because my MIL is worried that I haven't eaten or drank anything that I'm dehydrated. They get me in right away and I get a bag of fluids and start feeling a tiny bit better. The bleeding has continued to hold off and we head back home and go to sleep...one of the worst experiences. Ugh.
Fast forward to April 1st (just 4 days after the bleeding saga), I have an appointment to have chemo, guess what? Yep, you guessed it, my hemoglobin was too low to receive chemo. Ugh again. But it was all the blood loss from the tooth extraction (RBC's) not the WBC's as normal. So they send me over to the hospital to get a blood transfusion...which I have never had a transfusion before...so I was a little nervous. It was a very slow process, I got 2 units of blood, and I finally made it home just in time for The Voice. ;) It was a long day. They told me I would start feeling better by today and since I am writing, I suppose I am...the house is still a wreck, but at least I'm awake.

On some much more exciting news...someone that wished to remain anonymous, bought this fantastic necklace for me! It is made by a gal that lives in Joplin (right by me). I first discovered her work at the 2 Friends & Junk Show that she had a booth at...she has an Etsy shop called Tarnished Charm. So somebody saw that I liked this necklace and had it sent to me. I can't believe how generous people are! Remember when a friend sent a juice book to me (Hi Susan!!)??? I am just so thankful to whomever got this for me...actually, it's killing me! I really want to know who it is!! Ha!

Isn't it just beautiful? Thank you to whoever sent this, I love it so much! (just leave your name in the comments, I won't tell anyone)

That is everything that has been going on with me lately. I have had a few meltdowns in between, but still trying to maintain a certain level of peace by choosing my attitude. Thank you for sticking around with me. I hope it won't be too long before I'm back...we'll see what this new juice does for me! :)