The struggle is real, all of them

Let me begin by saying Verizon can kiss my ass.

After making the decision earlier this week to set a fixed writing schedule and work for Chris, I was greeted right smack at ‘write the blog’ time with error messages from Verizon. Email is offline. Internet is online. Error messages for sending and receiving email. Email is online. Verizon says I need to open another account. Why? I didn’t change my username or password in the first place, so why am I having to troubleshoot for them…as they refuse to speak with me in any way other than via twitter? For two hours.

I almost threw in the towel on this new ‘schedule’ of mine. Swear words flew. Maybe I should just try this again next week?

But then I thought about a really good article I read on setting systems vs. goals. It basically says that goals, while good to have, can actually discourage you. The end game is usually pretty far away. Instead, create a system (schedule, process); commit to that system and stay in the now with results versus setting yourself up for failure by only looking at the big, desired goal.

Sounds easy enough, right? But what if you’re not sure what your actual goal is?

That’s where my struggle has been. I’ve been an independently employed executive recruiter for 14 years and hadn’t really planned on making a big change. Now what? Instead of getting mired down in finding that one.big.goal., I’m focusing on what doors have opened. Chris needs a baker/dessert idea person and we’ve always tossed around ideas, so even though I don’t have formal training I’m taking on the project. Despite my nerves I’m excited and, truthfully, so grateful to have somewhere to go a few times a week that will allow me to feel (and be) productive. System number one.

And this blog. I wanted to blog again after my stroke. It was important to me to tell my story and be authentic and have a place where my life could be documented, at least to some degree. But it’s been a struggle. I am very conflicted about what a lot of blogs have become: places where people shill products and don’t disclose that if you click on the associated links, they are paid pretty large sums. Not just on the one item that caught your eye, but on anything you buy from the retailer you’re routed to – for up to 30 days after that initial click. It’s like blogging and sharing ideas for fun died, and everything turned into a potential dollar sign. Not that making money is a bad thing in and of itself, but when 95% of all posts on social media are affiliate linked, readers are getting slimed. And really, who’s actually reading anymore anyway?

That’s where I’ve been for the past 6 months or so. Whenever I write something I feel good, even if no one really says anything about it. But all it takes is 5 minutes of seeing that other stuff and I’m ready to scream into a pillow. Somehow reading that article made me rethink my take on this whole thing. If writing is fun for me and it’s something I enjoy, then I should commit to that regardless of what blogging has evolved into, even in part. System number two: committing to write here twice a week, no set topics. Hope you don’t mind pictures of me in a hairnet. #kitchentimes