weartheoldcoat

weartheoldcoat.com · Dec 4, 2016

Infinite YA Playlist: Prangin’ Out – The Streets

You’re prangin out,
I see through you (I feel awful)
This voice is talking to me,
This aint even funny (The irons been on in my house has been in for 4 fucking weeks)
I see through you,
I’m about to do something stupid

(I feel awful.)

“Is he ok?”

“How long’s he been out here for?”

“A few minutes.”

“Nah, about half an hour.”

“Half an hour? Fuck, is he OK?”

“I didn’t even notice that he’d gone.”

“What do you think?”

“Well…”

“He looks like shit.”

“He always looks like shit.”

“True.”

“He’ been drinking since five….”

“What time is it now?”

“I dunno, my phone’s dead.”

“You not got a watch?”

“What?”

“A watch, you know, thing around your wrist.”

“Fuck off.”

“It’s just gone ten.”

“Only five hours? Bloody lightweight.”

“But he’s been proper on it since five. Mixing too.”

“Mixing?”

“He’s had everything.”

“Yeah like vodka red bull and what’s that thing called? With the shot and that mixer?”

“Jaeger?”

“Nah, not what I’m thinking of. The other one.”

“No idea.”

“Think he had a Jaeger too.”

“Urgh.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?”

“Oh, there’s the birthday girl. Happy birthday!”

“Thanks. What’s happening with Jack?”

“Who?”

“Jack, are you ok?”

(There’s voices talkin’ to me)

“Who’s Jack?”

“Jack. Jack. This guy who’s about to vomit on his trainers.”

“You dipshit.”

“He’s fine.”

“He doesn’t look fine.”

“He’s just drunk.”

“Yeah, just drunk.”

“He doesn’t look drunk. Has he taken something?”

“Probably.”

“What? Why you looking at me like that?”

“Just annoyed that someone thought it was alright to bring drugs to my eighteenth birthday party and give them to one of my best friends who is obviously having a tough time. I mean, my grandma’s inside there.”

“Dancing to the Grease Megamix. Legend.”

“Yeah, she’s a right legend.”

“Shut it, Dave.”

“Don’t be like that! Just a bit of fun, isn’t it?”

“Not when someone’s od-ing outside my birthday party.”

“He’s not od-ing.”

“Why are you laughing?”

(This ain’t even funny)

“Just the idea of Jack kicking it outside Audenshaw rugby club.”

“Is that funny? Because I’m really not laughing.”

“A bit.”

“I think I need to tell my dad.”

“Nah, don’t. He’s just been drinking. Jack doesn’t do drugs.”

“It’s a little bit funny. Of all the places to die.”

“Where’s Laura?”

“Laura?”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“The one with the fringe.”

(I’m about to do something stupid.)

“His Laura.”

“What?”

“Who’s his Laura?”

“Didn’t know he had a Laura.”

“Didn’t even know he had a bird.”

“This isn’t helping! Where is she?”

“I don’t even know who she is.”

“She came out here about twenty minutes ago.”

“Nah, I didn’t see her. Just been us lot and this one.”

“Fine.”

“Smile love, it’s your birthday!”

“No, I won’t fucking smile. I’ve lost my best friend, my oldest friend is going to vomit on the street, I’m so sober and it’s my eighteenth birthday and there’s too much drama and I’m supposed to be dancing to the Dirty Dancing megamix with my eighty year old grandma!”

“It was the Grease megamix, actually.”

“Dave, shut the fuck up.”

“Urgh, I need another drink. And get away from you lot.”

“Bye!”

“Happy birthday!”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Dunno, girl stuff.”

“Alright, pal? Got a light? Cheers mate. Eh, what’s up with him?”

“Drunk.”

“Who is he?”

(I see through you)

“Goes to college with Jenny.”

“Needs to learn to control himself. It’s a bit embarrassing. Making a twat out of himself.”

“How do you know Jenny?”

“She’s my cousin.”

“Ah, she’s dead nice. I really like her.”

“Yeah, she’s great.”

“Did you see what he did before?”

“Who?”

“This guy.”

“What? No, I must’ve missed it.”

“Threatened this fella with a pool cue like he was a fucking animal.”

“Isn’t that an Arctic Monkeys song?”

“What?!”

“Jack did?”

“And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands.”

“Nah, I don’t believe it.”

“Yeah, he just started yelling and going mental. Kept screaming that she was his and it wasn’t fair that she was seeing someone else behind his back.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. Then she was just, like, stood there.”

“Shit.”

“Then the guy just punched the shit out of his face and then this girl ran to the loos and he came out here.”

“Bloody tune, that is.”

“What you on about, Dave?”

“A Certain Romance. It’s a good song.”

“Shit.”

“He doesn’t look like he’s got it in him, does he?”

“Yeah, it was intense. Thought he’d gone home.”

“Probably would’ve been best.”

“There’s only music so there’s new ringtones.”

“Dave. Come on. Leave it out, mate.”

“Should’ve got an early night, shouldn’t you?”

“Can he hear us?”

“Hey! Mate! Jack, can you hear us?!”

“Ey, no need to yell.”

(Panicking a bit, getting frightened of fuck all.)

“Which girl?”

“What?”

“The girl who ran out. Who was she?”

“I dunno. This girl with a fringe.”

“Ah, Laura.”

“She’s getting her money’s worth out of tonight, ain’t she?”

“Laura? Who’s Laura?”

“His Laura.”

(So nursing my bruise, I drink right from the bottle)

“Hey mate, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Fuck, he’s got a strong grip, eh?”

“Mate, you’ve had enough.”

“Shit man, he’s about to blow.”

“He’d better not.”

“Where are his friends?”

“What do you mean?”

“Where are Jack’s friends?”

“I thought you were his friends.”

“Mate, have some water, at the very least.”

“Nah, we just know him from school. Wouldn’t say we’re friends.”

“Why are you out here with him then?”

“A bit of a laugh, isn’t it?”

“Just a laugh.”

“Hey, think he’s falling asleep. Oi, sunshine, wake up!”

“Ha, his face, though.”

“I think he’s fine. He just needs to sleep it off.”

“Nah, he’s fine. I mean. He’s drank some water. He’ll be fine. Wish the bouncers would go away, because he’s fine.”

“Yeah, he’s fine!”

“He’s so fine, he blows my mind.”
“Dave, what is wrong with you, lad?”

“Fuck, I mean, the lights are so bright around here.”

“Eyyyy, Jenny! What’s happening?”

“Happy birthday to you! Haaaaappy birthday to-you!”

“You guys still out here?”

“Hey what was that?”

“What was what?”

“That boob thing.”

“The boob thing?”

“Yeah, you know.”

“My bra was hurting. Just readjusting.”

“Shit.”

“Readjusting.”

“Shit.”

“Grow up, boys.”

“You found Laura yet?”

“Laura?”

“The one with the fringe!”

“Shut up. Yes. I found her.”
“She alright?”

“Yeah, she’s…. I don’t think we should talk about this.”

“How come?”

“Not sure we’re in the right company.”

(I see through you.)

“Oh don’t mind him, he can’t hear us.”

“His eyes are rolling back in his skull.”

(Right now logic states I need to be not contemplating suicide)

“Yeah, he’s well gone.”

(Cos with rational thought it would seem that I need to be not doing…)

“Hey sweetie, can you hear me?”

“Sweetie?”

“I’ve ordered you a taxi. Then you can go home and sleep it off.”

“Leave it, Jen. He’s fine. Just drunk.”

“Shut up, this doesn’t concern you.”

“Eyy, touchy.”

“Jack. It’s Jenny. Did you hear me? I’ve ordered you a taxi. I’ve also…. Shit, don’t hate me, Jack. But I’ve told your mum. About everything and she’s…. She’s not mad. She’s just worried. I’m worried too and…. We’re all worried, OK? So she’s going to wait up for you. You’re…”

“His mum is gonna wait up for him?”

“Shut the actual fuck up, you dick.”

“Shit, Jen.”

“Wow.”

“Woah, cuz, are you OK?”

“I’m fine. Just sick of these dickheads. Just fuck off, the lot of you, OK?”

“Shit.”

“Jack. Come on, babe. You’re OK. You’ll be OK.”

(Not doing stuff that makes death seem like an easier option)

“I spoke to Laura. Can you hear me, Jack? She’s fine. She’s worried about you. She’s going to text you tomorrow. When you’ve slept it off. When your head is clear. Then you can talk about this. Ok?”

“This is a fucking tune!”

“What is it?”

“That song.”

“Which one, is it? It’s too quiet.”

“You’ll know it, pal. You’ll know it.”

“TURN IT UP, DJ!”

“Shut up, Dave.”

“Wanna go inside?”

“Yeah, I could do with a drink.”

“Shots?”

“Yeah, mate.”

“Bye Jen. Happy birthday!”

“Don’t die, Jack. Legend.”

“Legend Jack!”

“LEGEND!”

“Hey sweetie, I got you. Are you ok? Well, obviously not. You need sleep and you need your bed. The taxi’s here. Your mum will text me when you get home but, like, please be nice to yourself. And, seriously, don’t worry. Laura is…. Laura is. You know her. She just… is. You’ll sort this. I love you both. Just… be careful, OK?”

(I need a totally Trojan plan right now.)



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