Rainy days and Mondays

Got up early this Monday morning and it is a rainy gloomy November day. The kind of day that emphasizes loneliness. I fell back to sleep and for a fleeting moment I thought I felt Lane lying next to me.

Now I am having a cup of coffee planning my day. I know I have to do a bunch of stuff but on this rainy Monday it seems hard to get motivated. When Lane was here we did a good job at motivating each other. Whether it was calling his sister or going to the gym, I knew when and how to push him and when to back down. He did the same for me. On this rainy Monday I really could use the motivation that only Lane could provide.

I don't know why a wet, gloomy Monday brings on feelings of despair. It seems to conjure up old memories, regrets and thoughts of what ifs. On some rainy Mondays I even drag out the old pictures, the cards and letters and other memorabilia we collected over 30 years. While all this stuff makes me feel sad, it also reminds me of how lucky I was and what a great marriage I had.

I am happy to report that the forecast for Tuesday calls for sunny skies. Won't be able to use the weather as an excuse. So maybe it's not such a bad idea to blow off this rainy Monday. Don't even try to be upbeat or productive. I think I'll just spend the day watching it rain and thinking about Lane and days gone by.

Am I wallowing in pity or am I just dealing with the rainy Monday blues? I don't know. Do you?

Sue