Shmitten Kitten

We are a blog about dating for people who would probably never read a blog about dating.

Things in His House That Make Me Glad: Absentee Roommates

I've alluded to it here before, but it's time I came clean. I am Shmitten Kitten's resident Manhattanite, and this one should ring especially true to my fellow Apple-dwellers: there is simply...

23 h Like

Shmitten Kitten

Things in His House That Make Me Sad: The Lack of a Window in His Bathroom

We've reached that point where it’s acceptable for me to engage in activities in his bathroom and maybe, maybe even leave a few items in there. I’m not gonna go all How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days on...

23 h Like

Shmitten Kitten

Bonerkiller: Obsessive Facebook Checkers

Full Disclosure: I have a Facebook account. But I kind of hate it. Look, I freely admit that there are moments -- early moments, long before a crush has developed into a date and is still gestating...

5 days Like

Shmitten Kitten

Well, That Sucked: Dating An Overly Fussy Orderer

Witnessing someone order food can be an enlightening experience. I have encountered many types of orderers while on a date. There's the nervous orderer, who points to what she wants on the menu,...

5 days Like

Shmitten Kitten

Tip Our Hats: Guys Who Are Great Wedding Dates

Once you get to a certain age, it feels like all of your friends are constantly getting married. Especially during "wedding season", where for a few months it will seem like you’re hitting up a...

Jun 11, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Come See Me Tell A Story On Wednesday, June 19th at Shot Tower Coffee!

The topic is "Fool's Gold." Don't wear any clothing with buttons on it because I'm gonna make you laugh so hard that those little fuckers are gonna pop right the fuck off. FB info is here.

Jun 11, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

I Love Love Love That He's Pet-Free

Of course I love (most) cats. And sometimes I love (small, nice, non-yappy) dogs. I have no love for snakes or any other reptile but I respect their right to exist. But, I gotta admit, it's a...

Jun 5, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Flippin' Our Shades at Mark Regan from the South Philly Taproom

Mark Regan is a dreamboat. He's the sous chef at South Philly Taproom and he's one of the most entertaining people I've met. You may know him from his offensive yet charming twitter feed (@m_regan)...

Jun 4, 2013 Like 1 person likes this

Shmitten Kitten

Things in His House That Make Me Sad: His Lack of Glassware

When I asked him for a glass of water and he handed me a shitty red Solo cup, I took a preemptive pause and a deep breath before gingerly bringing the plastic cup to my lips. This, combined with...

Jun 3, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way"

Nothing makes me more frustrated than when a guy says, "I'm sorry you feel that way.” He's not genuinely apologetic because how I feel is not in congruence with his reality. And more importantly,...

May 31, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Question: Have Matchmaker Shows Taught You Anything About Dating?

I'll pretty much watch anything featuring dating coaches, relationship experts, and/or matchmakers. I've seen every episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker," all seasons of "Tough Love," and have...

May 29, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Flippin' Our Shades At Sharp-Dressed Short Dude Mike Oxman

Anna is pretty sure I conjured this man out of thin air for her pleasure, but the truth is, I've been a Mike Oxman fan for more than 10 years. Dude's game is tight. For one thing, he is sartorially...

May 28, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

I Love Love Love Doodlers

From Mieko, who thinks it's hot when a guy puts pen to paper and draws something cute: I believe there's a song that goes: "When a man loves a woman/ He shares his amazing doodling skills/ Doodles...

May 21, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I Take Bar Trivia Too Seriously

Bar trivia is an awesome idea. What better way to spend an evening than drinking beer and answering ridiculous questions about obscure topics no one should really know about? Personally, nothing...

May 20, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Real Talk: Bad Boys Over 30 Must Die

You meet him, pounding whiskey gingers at the bar with “his boys.” You know the type; the kind that shows up to dive bars at 1:15am. He has a motorcycle. He thinks Facebook chat is a legitimate way...

May 20, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Bonerkiller: DJs

From Jill, who does the smirk 'n' jerk to grown men living the DJ lifestyle: I have known many wonderful and lovely deejays but dating a DJ is the absolute worst. It’s all, “Let’s go to this club...

May 17, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

I Love Love Love When He's Not Creepy About Being Into Pop Culture Bullshit

From Dana, who'd prefer if he'd put the issue of Us Weekly down: It’s no secret I’m a pop culture junkie. So when a guy can make a sly pop culture reference, I start rubbernecking. Do you casually...

May 13, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Quick Rant: Oh Jeez, Where'd He Go?

From Jackie, who wants to kick his disappearing act in the scrotum: Like so many single, non-desperate women these days, I have ventured into the often scary world that is online dating. While...

May 13, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Bonerkiller: His Old, Beat Up, Plastic-y Jesus Sandals

From Sabrina in DC, who reallllly doesn't like his shitty sandals: I was walking to meet him on our second date and giving myself a pat on the back because he’s cuter than I remembered; short hair,...

May 10, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

I Love Love Love Enthusiastic Sports Fans

From Jill, who appreciates a sports enthusiast because she needs to make new memories, people: I don’t care about sports but I love when the guys that I date do. Sports = guaranteed free time away...

May 10, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "How Are You Going To Get There?"

From Gina, who'd like a ride, please: I hate when he asks “So how are you gonna get there?” Huh? How am I gonna get there? Man, I thought you just asked me out, doesn’t that mean you’re picking me...

May 10, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Grimy Cups

You know what I like? Being friends with a guy who cooks. Want to know what’s even better than that? Being friends with a guy who cooks, is adorable, AND has an awesome kitchen. Quickest way to...

May 10, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Story Time: The Dumbest Reason You’ve Ever Dumped Someone In Six Words

There are plenty of great reasons to dump someone. Maybe you want kids and she doesn’t. Maybe he is a compulsive liar. Maybe he collects DUIs like Pokemon cards. Those are all legit reasons to...

May 8, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Can't Navigate Around an Airport

From Melissa, who can't understand why he's a total shitshow at the airport: He's got a great apartment and even greater hair. Obviously he's done well enough for himself to find a job that allows...

May 8, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Laziest Online Dater Ever Seeks "Pretty, Thin" Woman To Review Profiles on His Behalf

Well, this is lovely. Only $100/week to scan through this douchebag's matches. What a fantastic opportunity for an aspiring writer/editor who is "pretty, thin, educated and in her 20s or 30s."...

May 3, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Quick Rant: He's So Not Hitting On Me at Work

Woohoo; it's Friday! Everyone and their brother is all, Everyone except me. Because I'm a cocktail waitress. And Friday is a work night. It's not that I have a particular aversion to working while...

May 3, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Bonerkiller: Violent Kissers

There was a time I thought there were only two kinds of kissers: good ones and bad ones. The experience is either pleasurable or it isn’t and even a bad kiss with someone you're attracted to must...

May 2, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Oh No He Di'int Downgrade Our Date

From Tanya, who was sincerely stoked about having some bomb-ass Thai fusion but was willing to settle for a little less but not that much less: I get it. The economy is rough. Some nights you...

Apr 30, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Shitty Blank Walls

From Liz, who realllly can't stand his shitty blank walls: There’s nothing quite like the first time you go to a guy’s place. Is he clean like the husband in Sleeping with the Enemy? Is he messy...

Apr 30, 2013 Like

Shmitten Kitten

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Shmitten Kitten

Things in His House That Make Me Glad: Absentee Roommates

Things in His House That Make Me Sad: The Lack of a Window in His Bathroom

Bonerkiller: Obsessive Facebook Checkers

Well, That Sucked: Dating An Overly Fussy Orderer

Tip Our Hats: Guys Who Are Great Wedding Dates

Come See Me Tell A Story On Wednesday, June 19th at Shot Tower Coffee!

I Love Love Love That He's Pet-Free

Flippin' Our Shades at Mark Regan from the South Philly Taproom

Things in His House That Make Me Sad: His Lack of Glassware

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way"

Question: Have Matchmaker Shows Taught You Anything About Dating?

Flippin' Our Shades At Sharp-Dressed Short Dude Mike Oxman

I Love Love Love Doodlers

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I Take Bar Trivia Too Seriously

Real Talk: Bad Boys Over 30 Must Die

Bonerkiller: DJs

I Love Love Love When He's Not Creepy About Being Into Pop Culture Bullshit

Quick Rant: Oh Jeez, Where'd He Go?

Bonerkiller: His Old, Beat Up, Plastic-y Jesus Sandals

I Love Love Love Enthusiastic Sports Fans

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "How Are You Going To Get There?"

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Grimy Cups

Story Time: The Dumbest Reason You’ve Ever Dumped Someone In Six Words

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Can't Navigate Around an Airport

Laziest Online Dater Ever Seeks "Pretty, Thin" Woman To Review Profiles on His Behalf

Quick Rant: He's So Not Hitting On Me at Work

Bonerkiller: Violent Kissers

Oh No He Di'int Downgrade Our Date

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Shitty Blank Walls

I Love Love Love When a Guy Rolls Up His Button-Down Sleeves

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