Shmitten Kitten

We are a blog about dating for people who would probably never read a blog about dating.

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I Take Bar Trivia Too Seriously

Bar trivia is an awesome idea. What better way to spend an evening than drinking beer and answering ridiculous questions about obscure topics no one should really know about? Personally, nothing...

14 h Like

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Real Talk: Bad Boys Over 30 Must Die

You meet him, pounding whiskey gingers at the bar with “his boys.” You know the type; the kind that shows up to dive bars at 1:15am. He has a motorcycle. He thinks Facebook chat is a legitimate way...

18 h Like

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Bonerkiller: DJs

From Jill, who does the smirk 'n' jerk to grown men living the DJ lifestyle: I have known many wonderful and lovely deejays but dating a DJ is the absolute worst. It’s all, “Let’s go to this club...

3 days Like

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I Love Love Love When He's Not Creepy About Being Into Pop Culture Bullshit

From Dana, who'd prefer if he'd put the issue of Us Weekly down: It’s no secret I’m a pop culture junkie. So when a guy can make a sly pop culture reference, I start rubbernecking. Do you casually...

May 13, 2013 Like

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Quick Rant: Oh Jeez, Where'd He Go?

From Jackie, who wants to kick his disappearing act in the scrotum: Like so many single, non-desperate women these days, I have ventured into the often scary world that is online dating. While...

May 13, 2013 Like

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Bonerkiller: His Old, Beat Up, Plastic-y Jesus Sandals

From Sabrina in DC, who reallllly doesn't like his shitty sandals: I was walking to meet him on our second date and giving myself a pat on the back because he’s cuter than I remembered; short hair,...

May 10, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love Enthusiastic Sports Fans

From Jill, who appreciates a sports enthusiast because she needs to make new memories, people: I don’t care about sports but I love when the guys that I date do. Sports = guaranteed free time away...

May 10, 2013 Like

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Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "How Are You Going To Get There?"

From Gina, who'd like a ride, please: I hate when he asks “So how are you gonna get there?” Huh? How am I gonna get there? Man, I thought you just asked me out, doesn’t that mean you’re picking me...

May 10, 2013 Like

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Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Grimy Cups

You know what I like? Being friends with a guy who cooks. Want to know what’s even better than that? Being friends with a guy who cooks, is adorable, AND has an awesome kitchen. Quickest way to...

May 10, 2013 Like

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Story Time: The Dumbest Reason You’ve Ever Dumped Someone In Six Words

There are plenty of great reasons to dump someone. Maybe you want kids and she doesn’t. Maybe he is a compulsive liar. Maybe he collects DUIs like Pokemon cards. Those are all legit reasons to...

May 8, 2013 Like

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Bonerkiller: Guys Who Can't Navigate Around an Airport

From Melissa, who can't understand why he's a total shitshow at the airport: He's got a great apartment and even greater hair. Obviously he's done well enough for himself to find a job that allows...

May 8, 2013 Like

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Laziest Online Dater Ever Seeks "Pretty, Thin" Woman To Review Profiles on His Behalf

Well, this is lovely. Only $100/week to scan through this douchebag's matches. What a fantastic opportunity for an aspiring writer/editor who is "pretty, thin, educated and in her 20s or 30s."...

May 3, 2013 Like

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Quick Rant: He's So Not Hitting On Me at Work

Woohoo; it's Friday! Everyone and their brother is all, Everyone except me. Because I'm a cocktail waitress. And Friday is a work night. It's not that I have a particular aversion to working while...

May 3, 2013 Like

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Bonerkiller: Violent Kissers

There was a time I thought there were only two kinds of kissers: good ones and bad ones. The experience is either pleasurable or it isn’t and even a bad kiss with someone you're attracted to must...

May 2, 2013 Like

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Oh No He Di'int Downgrade Our Date

From Tanya, who was sincerely stoked about having some bomb-ass Thai fusion but was willing to settle for a little less but not that much less: I get it. The economy is rough. Some nights you...

Apr 30, 2013 Like

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Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Shitty Blank Walls

From Liz, who realllly can't stand his shitty blank walls: There’s nothing quite like the first time you go to a guy’s place. Is he clean like the husband in Sleeping with the Enemy? Is he messy...

Apr 30, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love When a Guy Rolls Up His Button-Down Sleeves

From Samantha, who digs a rolled-up sleeve, mmkay?: Rolled up sleeves just bellow, “I’m a business dude who also likes to kick it.” I imagine him rollin’ ‘em up while in a stressful office...

Apr 30, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love When A Guy I've Been Crushing On Admits To Also Crushing On Me

From Sarah, who loves it when a guy admits to mutually crushing on her too: I like to obsess about boys. Specifically, I enjoy creating complex imaginary relationships starting when we first speak...

Apr 29, 2013 Like

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Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Lack of Hand Soap

From Marielena, who just wants a convenient post-loo suds situation: No hand soap? Really? Really. What? Where’s the? How do? How does he? Where’s the damn hand soap?! That was my thought process...

Apr 29, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love When He Reads A Book I've Recommended

From Katie, who digs it when a guy can get down with her, book-wise: Do you remember in Beauty and the Beast when the Beast gives Belle the epic library? I’m going to be honest: That scene may have...

Apr 29, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love When He Orders My Drink In Advance So It's Waiting for Me When I Arrive

From Jackie, who digs a gent who makes it a point to remember her drink of choice: I’m always late. Always. I don’t know if it’s due to an underestimation of how long it takes for me to get from my...

Apr 26, 2013 Like 1 person likes this

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Get Out of My Face, Movie Dates as a First Date

From Sam, the kind of guy who'd much rather make first-date nervous small talk when apps and zerts are involved: I’m not exactly sure how going to the movies became first-date fodder. Third date?...

Apr 26, 2013 Like

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Picnic Dates, Fuck Yeah!

By Kelly, who loves picnic dates more than Dance Moms love bickering: Spring has finally sprung! Although there are many things I enjoy about the onset of this season (daffodils, baseball, stuffing...

Apr 26, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love Guys Who Iron Their Shirts

From Abbie, who gets hot under the collar for iron men: The dress shirt he's wearing may not be the most expensive garment in the world. Heck, it might be a poly-blend, bargain bin leftover for all...

Apr 25, 2013 Like

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Just Between Us, His Hygiene Fucking Sucks

From Rose, a no-nonsense nostril advocate: A guy in uniform has long been lauded as a gal’s secret weakness. Show me a guy in uniform, or just a nice shirt and tie, and I’ll show you a girl trying...

Apr 24, 2013 Like

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I Love Love Love Co-Ed Softball Players

From Leah, who flips her shades at the kind of man who can slide his way into her heart: It’s the most wonderful time of the year: the trees are blooming, day trips to Atlantic City are imminent,...

Apr 24, 2013 Like

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Things In His House That Make Me Sad: The Lack of Trash Bag In His Bathroom Trash Can

From Julia, who'd really appreciate a little liner-love, bathroom trash can-wise: The bathroom is a magical place. You spend DAYS of your life in there, whether you’re brushing your teeth or...

Apr 24, 2013 Like 1 person likes this

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Little Known Fact: I Hate Being Tickled

From Brittany, who REALLY hates being tickled so get the memo, America! At the age of seven, I suffered a traumatic event that still haunts me to this day: I was tickled to the point of peeing my...

Apr 23, 2013 Like

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Philly Tech Week + Me + Searching for Love Online = Fun as Hell

Join me as I babble about finding love on the Internet. The event is called "A/S/L: Love and Tech" and it'll be more fun than doing a shot every time you come across a guy wearing a fedora in their...

Apr 23, 2013 Like

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Shmitten Kitten

Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I Take Bar Trivia Too Seriously

Real Talk: Bad Boys Over 30 Must Die

Bonerkiller: DJs

I Love Love Love When He's Not Creepy About Being Into Pop Culture Bullshit

Quick Rant: Oh Jeez, Where'd He Go?

Bonerkiller: His Old, Beat Up, Plastic-y Jesus Sandals

I Love Love Love Enthusiastic Sports Fans

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "How Are You Going To Get There?"

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Grimy Cups

Story Time: The Dumbest Reason You’ve Ever Dumped Someone In Six Words

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Can't Navigate Around an Airport

Laziest Online Dater Ever Seeks "Pretty, Thin" Woman To Review Profiles on His Behalf

Quick Rant: He's So Not Hitting On Me at Work

Bonerkiller: Violent Kissers

Oh No He Di'int Downgrade Our Date

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Shitty Blank Walls

I Love Love Love When a Guy Rolls Up His Button-Down Sleeves

I Love Love Love When A Guy I've Been Crushing On Admits To Also Crushing On Me

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Lack of Hand Soap

I Love Love Love When He Reads A Book I've Recommended

I Love Love Love When He Orders My Drink In Advance So It's Waiting for Me When I Arrive

Get Out of My Face, Movie Dates as a First Date

Picnic Dates, Fuck Yeah!

I Love Love Love Guys Who Iron Their Shirts

Just Between Us, His Hygiene Fucking Sucks

I Love Love Love Co-Ed Softball Players

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: The Lack of Trash Bag In His Bathroom Trash Can

Little Known Fact: I Hate Being Tickled

Philly Tech Week + Me + Searching for Love Online = Fun as Hell

Things That Make Me Go "Yikes!": When He Gets Overly Nervous Around My Friends

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