It doesn’t look like much now, but just wait till I’m done! For weeks I’ve been anticipating the demolition and remodel that will keep me occupied, keep my mind tied up so I wonR...
My good friend of whom used to be my second husband, drilled into me the fact that when life brings you lemons, you practice the art of making lemonade. For weeks now, I’ve been trying to wrap ...
I’m one step closer…just became a Certified Nursing Assistant. WHOOPWHOOP!
I woke up this morning without the enthusiasm I’m accustomed to on Easter Sunday. Every year of my adult life I’ve prepared a giant feast for my family and managed to make it to church to...
Several days have passed since I last wrote; several days, and numerous life altering changes have taken place. I spent most of the day with my Realtor friend back on March 14th. I searched again, fo...
A few days ago I was in a hurry to leave my house when I accidentally dropped my new Smart Phone face down on my ceramic tile floor near the garage door… As I knelt down to pick it up, I found ...
I continue to look forward to the darkness of the sky so I am able to shut down myself for the remainder of the night. I look forward to the solace of sleep so I no longer have to deal with the reali...
I’ve now reached my forty-ninth year, and I’m still trying to shut down the ugly side of myself called ED. The eating disorder is really only a negative force inside my brain which tells...
Back in the car at 9:33 am heading west for St Louis Park and forty-five minutes of Brandy Carlile belting out the tunes which tend to take some of the depression to a different level. There’s ...
I can’t remember the last time I looked so forward to Monday morning. I looked forward to my commute to the treatment center where I’d be able to focus again and be free from the feelings...
A week has now passed since the day they bid me farewell from twenty-four hour care at the treatment center for eating disorders. For two months I was under the supervision of professionals. I had m...
After eight and a half weeks of inpatient treatment for eating disorders I was reluctantly discharged, due to the fact I was doing so well at following the rules. My insurance company was beginning t...
Six weeks have passed since I started treatment. I’ve learned that it’s possible to eat real live foods, meaning foods that were on my do not eat list. The foods which I restricted from m...
If I ever thought I ate too much in the past, I was mistaken. I’m following all the rules and gritting my teeth as I do it. In order to teach my body how to function properly, I have to feed my...
Since my eating disorder began, we’ve seen many changes in the way our society works. It started back when my only form of transportation was my white ten-speed bicycle, when the only phone we ...
With a little help from my friends and family, I’m ready to face the monster again. I was so enjoying the weight loss and the euphoric feeling of control. When I felt like I was losing control ...
I live in a fish bowl. I’ve been writing my most secret, in depth, and disturbing thoughts on this blog for several years now, in hopes that it would help me to overcome a life long eating diso...
Each year since the death of mother, the holiday season has brought on a measurable amount of stress, and underlying depression. I want this twenty-first consecutive year to be different. As the Holi...
It’s time to take advantage of my second thirty plus day bonus to myself! My life is on an upswing and I’m enjoying the trek. I’ve managed to span more than thirty days without any ...
In the past month I’ve traveled from: my home in Minnesota, to Branson, MO, The Big Easy of New Orleans, LA, and onto the Sunshine State in southern Florida. I managed to see things along the w...
I’ve been trying so hard to continue my story and everything seems to blow up in my path. If it’s not my laundry, it’s my dirty dishes. If it’s not my dirty dishes, it’s...
I’ve been quiet lately, only because I’ve been so busy. Autumn brings on an entirely different swing to my step. I’ve always enjoyed the colorful woods and cool nights that only com...
For the past few days I’ve been sitting shotgun in the front passenger seat of the Tahoe, my husband taking the wheel. I’ve witnessed the natural beauty of Gods earth from the Bad Lands o...
I’m sitting in my little writing room looking out the windows in front of me. The heat and moisture of the great outdoors is fighting with the air-conditioned coolness of the inside of the hous...
I’ve been working hard the past few days…happy to announce that I’m on day two of my thirty day goal…Here is a glimpse of page 173 of my book. Ten months have past since I wr...
It all began when I was just fifteen years old…or was it when I was two and a half? Either way, the process started early; my thought patterns were forming without my knowledge that they were t...
It’s a new day, therefore I am able to start fresh. The sun continues to shine, and my flowers continue to grow. I have the world in the palm of my hands in comparison to some. I’m going ...
So far, so bumpy… What can I say? I have really had it with the distortions taking control of my psyche. I’m struggling, but I’m doing better, far better, as I’ve not entertained th...
I haven’t been very good to myself lately. I’ve discovered that the complexities of my distorted thought patterns are more complicated than I knew. It was recently brought to my attention...
My desire to write has come to a complete stop. I’ve been trying to figure out if my passion for warmer weather and green grass has anything to do with it. The winter of 2010-2011 had to have b...
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