The Fickle Mind Of Mel

English: Image is of James Van Der Beek, American television, film, and stage actor. This image was taken in SanSierra Studio, New York, NY, US. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Fickle confabulations. Disordered, mangled vision. Trying to see logic and reason amass the torpid sleuth of choices to be made.

I decided not to buy the spa in Cheshire. I woke up today, and as easily as I chose to buy it yesterday, today was just the contrary. I slipped from its grasp.

I just got done massaging my first client and WOW. She let one rip.

I never write about people passing gas while I massage them, it’s silly and trite (and usually it’s me) – but this one is certainly blog worthy.

It was one of those farts that shouldn’t be classified as a fart. It was dark and had heft, you know what I mean? The kind that are hot coming out and weigh heavier than breathable air.

It was a sick fart. That’s what it was. It didn’t smell healthy. It was sick. I smelt it for a good half hour. A thick sick, dark fart.

Okay, so anyway, yeah…..that happened.

Back to the subject at hand.

I’m going to go on ahead with opening up my own shitty clinic. It won’t be classy, or trashy, it’ll be me. It’ll suit me, represent me. It’ll be a mirror representation of all that I believe and hope for.

Sick, thick dark farts will be welcomed there.

It’s 12:47AM and I’m all hiccupy and shit. And again, exhausted.

I live in a wealthy suburb of Connecticut. Maybe not the wealthiest as far as Fairfield county, or Litchfield goes – whatever those places may be, I don’t know. I live in Cheshire which is in-between those worlds of indulgence. It’s upper middle-class. It’s where James Van Der Beek is from and where the Petit murders taken place (yes I know both families).

My parents bought this house in the 70′s when nothing was here. We added on to our house and made it bigger because we are carpenters, electricians, and plumbers all in one.

I was grandfathered into this town because my parents made the best out of what they already knew.

Me and my family pretty much swing with the punches. I’m a, “if you can’t beat em’, join em’,” Kind of gal. And as of now, my town caters to people with money – they leach off it. It’s how the monopoly of Cheshire feeds and breeds.

But……

I will offer the first affordable massage in Cheshire. So people like me can afford a monthly massage with no hassle or strings attached.

Online deals are our growing future, and I know how to work them. This will be my hook.

I’ll take that 18K that I was originally going to use for buying the spa in Cheshire, and invest it instead in a jaw dropping atmosphere that you wouldn’t expect from a hole-in-the-wall clinic. It’ll touch the soul and the heart. It’ll be real. You know what I mean? Dark fart acceptance kind of real.

Anyway, my next few posts are going to be boring business posts no doubt. I latch on and fixate, remember? And this is a life event for me.

And now for your moment of zen:

My Facebook message back to Melissa, the girl wanting to sell me her spa.

This is me trying to sound as logical and rational as my feeble brain will allow.

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Hey Melissa I keep bouncing back and forth between starting my own business and buying yours. It’s killing my brain! I hate this crap, I really do.

It’s just that if I buy In Touch, I’ll be swamped in debt. That’s the only deterring factor.

The whole reason why I want to hire employee’s is so I can be free, but being in debt is not free. It’s a catch 22, you know?

And I feel like if I start my own business, I’d run it the same way I’d run In Touch. There’s a slight chance that I’d be making the same amount in my start-up (after six months or so) as I would make at In Touch. So why go 20-25k in debt when I could do it for a whole lot less?

My newest plan that I just thought of literally 5 minutes ago, is to start up my own business, give it time to make a steady profit and THEN I’ll buy In Touch. I’ll buy In Touch when I know I can afford it.

Right now I have my car payment, insurance, and cell phone bill totaling $400 a month. If I bought In Touch, I’ll need to take out a loan from the bank for a down payment plus extra money to put in an In Touch bank account, then pay rent, phone & internet, pay you, pay the bank, pay my personal bills ($400), pay the therapists – I’ll be swamped.

I thought A LOT about this and I can’t make up my mind. My brain is horrible. I hate this.

I’ll still meet with you on Sunday, and if it’s possible can you show me how many clients you guys average a week? And how much money you average a month? Oriana or whoever would need to take 40 clients a month just to make rent.

If I buy In Touch for $18,000, what I’m really buying is security in that it will actually make money and be able to pay for itself. I’m just not sure if that security is worth $18,000. You know? I hate this.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at right now. I’m leaning towards first starting my business, and then buying yours once I’m stabilized. It seems to make the most sense to me at the moment. So I’m not crazy swamped in debt.

But I definitely want to meet with you on Sunday! It will help me knowing exactly what I’m buying. I wish $18,000 wasn’t a lot of money for me. It isn’t in the long run, but shit adds up. Plus interest!