WTF?! Wednesday
Happy Wednesday! This past week (month, really) has been a blur. I’ve been out of town just as much as I have been in town, I barely know what day of the week it is, and I’ve spent every spare minute watching Orange is the New Black. Real productive. But, luckily, no matter how much of a waste of life I am, there are always those few people out in the world that make me feel slightly more sane. Thank you, crazies, for putting it all in perspective. Here’s some of the WTF that I’ve come across lately….
A man in Pennsylvania went to Walmart to buy some bananas but actually ended up with a scorpion attack instead. Awesome, now we all need to carry anti-venom with us in the produce section. And here’s a list of foods with more potassium than a banana in case you want to give up the scorpion fruit forever.
Before going into a gas station, a Georgia man placed his gun in his pants, accidentally shot off his penis, didn’t notice (!!!!!!) and then drove to his friend’s house. At his friends house he realized that his pants were covered in blood and he was missing a penis so the brainiacs decided to head to the hospital to give what I imagine is the most amazing medical report ever.
What’s worse than a little girl being kicked out of a KFC because other patrons were disturbed by her facial scarring following an attack by a pitbull? Her family telling the media that story to get over $100k in donations when really they never even set foot in a KFC and that whole story is bogus.
While the rest of the 20 somethings are struggling to pay back loans for books and classes that barely qualify them to be a secretary at a law firm, one lucky British gal is taking out $17k in loans to get plastic surgery…and bragging about it online.
A vulva statue was just minding it’s own business outside of a German University when an US exchange student decided to climb in and get stuck. Let’s add “vulgar statue habits” to the reasons the rest of the world hates us.
Nicholas Wig now holds the title for world’s dumbest criminal. A Minnesota man came home to find his house ransacked and a stranger’s Facebook page on his computer. Logged in as the burglar, the homeowner posted his number and asked anyone who knew anything about the robbery to call him. Obvi Nicholas Wig knew something about the robbery so he texted the homeowner and arranged a time to meet and exchange a cell phone that Wig stole for the wet clothes he left behind when fleeing the scene. When Wig showed up, he was arrested…while wearing a watch that he had also stolen from the house.
What is the last thing that made you go WTF?!
Feel free to send any crazy stories you come across my way. Thanks, Rachel for sending some crazy my way this week
