Creating our own suffering
Raise your hand if you enjoy going to the dentist. Anybody? Anybody? Yeah, I sort of figured we were all in the same boat. So maybe you’ll be able to relate to my feelings when I got a call from the dentist last week reminding me of my appointment scheduled for 10:30 this morning. When they asked me to confirm that I was still coming in, I briefly entertained the idea of cancelling it right then and there. Not because I was busy this morning, but just because I REALLY hate going to the dentist. But I told myself that cancelling the appointment would just mean rescheduling it for another time and so I would only be delaying the agony. So I reluctantly confirmed the appointment and then promptly hung up the phone and began worrying about dreading it. Are they going to find a cavity? Are they going to tell me that I now need to get my wisdom teeth out? How much is it going to hurt this time when they start scraping?! After taking the kids to the bus stop this morning, I walked back inside the house and immediately checked my phone for messages. Maybe the dentist called to reschedule my appointment? Maybe another patient has an emergency and needs my time slot! But, sadly, no messages and no missed calls from the dentist.
And so I kept my appointment, dragging myself into the dentist’s office at exactly 10:30 and wishing it was already over. At 11:15, I practically skipped out of the dentist’s office. Zero cavities and all my wisdom teeth are safely tucked in my mouth for at least another 6 months. And I thought to myself, Now that wasn’t so bad. And truth be told, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I convinced myself it was going to be. In fact, the days I spent worrying about this appointment were far worse then the 45 minutes I spent sitting in the actual dentist’s chair.
I wonder how many times we all do this to ourselves. We anticipate something will be terrible and so we worry about it…obsess over it….maybe even lose sleep over it…only to discover that it wasn’t nearly as bad as we thought it was going to be. How often do we create our own suffering? We put off appointments, procrastinate conversations, or simply ignore pressing needs because we think it will be difficult, painful, or simply uncomfortable. And then, when we finally, FINALLY, do that thing we’ve been avoiding, we not only realize that it wasn’t that bad, we are actually glad we finally did it.
I still hate going to the dentist, but I’m glad I went today…if only for the comforting knowledge that I (hopefully) won’t need to go back again for another 6 months. What about you? Have you been procrastinating on something you know you should do because you are convinced it will be terrible?
